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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if you leave the queue, you re-join at the back?

68 replies

LittleMiss77 · 19/05/2015 12:34

long story short - guy in front of me leaves queue, i step forward, he rejoins queue but demands to be let in where he left. I point out that he left the queue so no, he cant do that, he calls me polite and then shoves me and my 33wk pregnant backside out of the way to get his place back.

Was i BU?

Either way, he's casting me off to the pits of hell... my family too. Do you think i'll need suncream? Im very pale....

OP posts:

steff13 · 19/05/2015 12:36

Nope, you leave the line, you forfeit your space.

butterflyballs · 19/05/2015 12:36

What were you queuing for? How long was he gone? How long was the queue?

however · 19/05/2015 12:38

I'd have let him back in, unless he'd nicked off and got a trolley full of stuff at the supermarket, and all I had was a bunch of bananas.

It all depends on the amount of inconvenience, really.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/05/2015 12:38

I think the queue thing is completely irrelevant and maybe you should focus on the fact he assaulted a pregnant woman

SoManyQuestions219 · 19/05/2015 12:38

It depends on how long he was gone for and whether he made it clear that he was coming back, ie. asked you if ok IMO.

Did he really shove you ?

BeautyQueenFromMars · 19/05/2015 12:38

YWNBU

I left the queue in the shop this morning to grab something I'd forgotten. I was the only one actually in the queue. When I got back to the tills, 5 people had magically appeared from nowhere and I had to stand behind all of them. Always bloody happens to me. Still wouldn't expect to get back into my original place though.

MaidOfStars · 19/05/2015 12:39

Oh, it really depends.

If someone in front of me steps to one side to have a quick look at a sock display, I'm going to let them back in.

Original poster

LittleMiss77 · 19/05/2015 12:40

The queue was short - there was 1 other person behind me (whobhad a fair amount of stuff)

He left to try his chances at another queue but came back. Gone probably a minute - do these things matter when queue jumping?

OP posts:

prepperpig · 19/05/2015 12:42

In that case he rejoins at the back.

If he'd left his trolley and raced to grab a forgotten tin of beans then he keeps his place.

MrsSheRa · 19/05/2015 12:43

It depends how long they left it really, he's an absolute twat for shoving you though

Original poster

LittleMiss77 · 19/05/2015 12:44

SoMany - yes he did I wasnt in a hurry to move out of his way and he was adamant that he was having his place back.

(i did get a bollocking from colleagues when i got back to the office for not backing down and letting this bloke in - you dont know his background, it could have been more than a shove, what if he waited for you outside the shop... they have a point....)

OP posts:

Rosieliveson · 19/05/2015 12:45

If he left to try another queue then he doesn't get his place back. That's the (un)luck of the draw when it comes to multi lane queues.

Happybodybunny12 · 19/05/2015 12:47

I think you were rude to not let him back in and he was very unhinged to push you.

Neither of you come out of this well really.

GloriousGoosebumps · 19/05/2015 13:01

I really don't understand Happybodybunny's point of view. If you leave your basket/shopping trolley marking your spot while you dart off to grab something you've forgotten then you've not relinguished your place in the queue and you come back to the same spot in the queue. It's completely different if you take your shopping with you because you've seen what looks like a shorter queue only to find that that queue isn't moving, in those circumstances you've lost your original spot and need to go to the back of the queue.

balletnotlacrosse · 19/05/2015 13:01

YANBU. If the other queue had started to move quickly would he have gone over and reclaimed his place there?

And as for pushing you out of the way like that, I would have left the queue there and then and arrived back with a security man. He should have been kicked out of the shop and barred.

BarbarianMum · 19/05/2015 13:04

In this case I think YANBU. In other circumstances, if he'd nipped off to pick up a forgotten item, I think that rejoining in your original place is fine.

ItsTricky · 19/05/2015 13:05

If I needed to get something that was literally a few steps away I'd say to person behind me 'do you mind if I quickly grab something?'. If lots of people in front I can't see the problem with that. If person in front did that I would be happy with it. If it meant leaving the spot to go traipsing around the store for more than a minute then no, you leave the queue for good.

Stopandlook · 19/05/2015 13:06

Your colleagues are right, but it's easy to say now. I would normally let someone in as I often forget something / have to grab an escaped child and leave the queue. But he sounds out of order.

SirChenjin · 19/05/2015 13:06

The normal rules are that you say to the person behind you "I'm just going to get X, can you keep my place please" then you hotfoot it to X and back to the queue.

In this case, and for such a small queue (even though he didn't tell you what he was doing) then I'd have let him back in, absolutely. Pushing you is totally unacceptable and I would have called the police or security.

OfaFrenchMind · 19/05/2015 13:16

YABU (even if he was a bit rude). If he goes to pick up a forgotten thing, the non-twattish thing to do is to let him back at his spot. That's common courtesy.

balletnotlacrosse · 19/05/2015 13:19

But he didn't go back to pick up a forgotten thing. He went to another queue and then came back when it wasn't moving as fast as he wanted.

Original poster

LittleMiss77 · 19/05/2015 13:28

What i should add, sorry for the drip feed (and in this respect yes, IABU) is that if he had said "oh excuse me, do you mind if i rejoin? The other queue isnt moving as fast as i thought and im in a hurry..." then id have happily have let him back in.

What he actually said was "Hey you... Yeah you... Move."

OP posts:

Dr0pThePirate · 19/05/2015 13:29

FrenchMind thats not what happened though. He left the queue to join another.

Morelikeguidelines · 19/05/2015 13:29

YANBU. If you try your luck at another queue you go to the back, unless maybe you beg the person who was behind you and have an out of the ordinary reason for needing to be quick (can't think of one off top of my head, but maybe pregnant woman bursting for the loo or something).

Even if you had been U in the first place he was totally out of order to assault you!

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 19/05/2015 13:30

YANBU. If someone just nips out of a long queue to get something that's fine, but the unwritten rule is you leave your trolley/basket, say 'Do you mind, I'm just going to grab X' then come back asap. He relinquished his place in the queue to go to another then expected his spot back. Nope, tough. You would have been well within your rights to call a store employee over to sort out both his pushing in and then his aggression towards you.

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