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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there’s nothing wrong with buying baby stuff second-hand?

111 replies

Sansarya · 19/05/2015 09:45

A woman in my office is pregnant and we were having a chat about baby clothes and toys etc. I said that she could get some good bargains on eBay or at NCT Nearly New Sales, as small babies grow out of stuff so quickly.

Another woman in the office overheard our conversation and piped up to express her disgust at this. She made a face and said she’d never buy second-hand stuff for her baby (hypothetical at this point) and that she had plenty of friends and family to give presents to her baby. She is from a fairly well off family so I’m not sure she’s ever really had to worry about the cost of things and I don’t think it was nice of her to sneer.

Unless of course I’m missing something and there’s something hugely wrong with buying baby clothes from ebay or at an NNS? I got DS quite a few things from there when he was younger. Obviously it’s different when they’re older and more mobile as the clothes have more wear and tear etc, but the stuff I bought him was as good as new!

OP posts:

Diamond23 · 20/05/2015 15:40

Oh and although my baby is very young she is now out of her newborn and 0-3 months clothes and they're good as new. She doesn't puke and any poo spillage go on her vests which I'm happy to bin if ruined, so not only are they fine to sell second hand but I needn't worry about wasting money on new things she'll ruin/ get body fluids all over. She did neither, bet loads of babies don't

Skiptonlass · 20/05/2015 15:59

Why are parenting choices always so fraught? You can't do anything right, can you? Breast vs bottle, crying vs not...everyone's a critic!

I think we all try to do the best we can for our families within the framework we have. There's nothing wrong with getting everything second hand (bar things like mattresses etc) and there's nothing wrong with getting things new either.

I'm now very lucky ...I have a decent income and am buying most of my stuff new. Not all, we've got a couple of fantastic hand me downs, but most stuff is new. That's my choice.

I'm aware I'm incredibly lucky to be able to do this. If I'd had this baby five years ago I'd have been in a totally different situation financially, and I'd be heartbroken to be criticised for getting second hand stuff.

It's crap to criticise either way. It's crap to criticise those who want to or need to get second hand (which is often a great way of getting much higher quality stuff at a lower price) and its crap to moralise at people who are excited and buy new stuff because you've got the moral high ground.

It's really not an issue is it? The big thing is raising your children to be decent humans. That's important. Whether their baby grow is third hand, or woven from artisanal unicorn hair is immaterial.

Christelle2207 · 20/05/2015 17:26

ArcheryAnnie · 20/05/2015 19:19

If there weren't ludicrous people lacking in common sense who haven't twigged yet that buy all this brand new stuff, where would all you patronising 2nd handers get your stuff from?

The stuff I got for DS had really done the rounds by the time it got to me. I think as it went to each new baby, the grungier items went for rags, and a few newly-secondhand things were added. But lots of it had been around quite a few babies.

You talk as if there will be a sudden shortage of secondhand clothes, Stinker. There won't be. I haven't seen anyone say never EVER buy anything new - and anyway many babies get given new outfits. But if everyone was a bit more willing to re-use the stuff that already exists, it would help.

But you seem determined to dismiss this. I wonder why?

Stinkersmum · 20/05/2015 19:51

I'm not dismissing anything. I've stated what I will and won't do 2nd hand. My issue is with the snidey comments some posters are making about those that buy new.

Original poster

Sansarya · 20/05/2015 19:54

Oh FFS, for about the third time, the comments are directed towards people like the woman in the OP who sneered at the thought of anyone buying baby clothes from eBay. Not sure how much clearer I can make that, but you seem determined to take offence and get defensive.

OP posts:

Stinkersmum · 20/05/2015 19:58

Sansarya, there are plenty of posters who have made sly comments about buying new and they were NOT referring to the woman in your op. I could list them one by one for your benefit but I can't believe you're that obtuse that you can't see them for yourself. FFS indeed.

Ilovechelseaflowershow · 20/05/2015 20:00

I adore the choice you get at these sorts of sales.

If i had the £££ though and buying new all the time, would not impact on other areas then why not buy new?

Its when I see people with tight budgets, buying new and designer I wonder why.

Original poster

Sansarya · 20/05/2015 20:10

I said like the woman in the OP, ie those who are snobby about secondhand stuff.

OP posts:

5thResident · 10/09/2019 15:26

TTC my fifth child, and I love second-hand. Only buy car seats new, bottle nipples etc new

thecatsthecats · 10/09/2019 15:41

When I have kids, I intend to replace a baby shower with a get together where people bring me all their second hand stuff they don't want or need any more.

At this rate, I'll be the last person in my friendship group to have kids, so I'll probably get full wardrobes from newborn-age 10.

(Before anybody says 'grabby', my friend group operates this way for lots of things - hen do tat, birthday banners, wedding paraphernalia etc. It's like a cooperative based around life events. I paid into the kitty up front, and over the years, the stock has accumulated!)

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