To encourage my friend to have a smear test?

[ThatIsVerySilly]

She is 27 now and was called in for her first smear test at the standard age of 25, so two years ago now. However she refuses to have one.

I have told her than nobody likes smear tests, it doesn't hurt and that it's a couple of seconds of embarrasment but she still refuses to have one. She still refuses to have one and has told me that being scared it will hurt or that it will be embarrasing is not the reason why she won't have one but then won't tell me why she won't have one. But what other reason would a woman not want one if not for embarrassment or fear it will hurt?

She is now very upset as when she went to get a repeat prescription of the pill last week her GP told her that she will not be given any more unless she has a smear test. I think this is a good idea as they really are so important and save lives. My friend has told me her GP has nagged her about it in the past so I think they are doing this to push her to have one. Personally I think it's a good idea and sounds sensible.

My friend is still telling me that she doesn't want one though and is now feeling bullied into having one.

WIBU to tell her to just get it over and done with? I feel kind of bad for thinking this but I can't help but think just suck it up and stop being so irresponsible. Having a smear test is nowhere near as bad as having cancer or dying from it.

you've done all you can, without harming your friendship. Time to back off and let her do her own thing - regardless of how dangerous and reckless it is.

@poddleDoodle

Zombie thread! This post is from 7 years ago!

WIBU to tell her to just get it over and done with? I feel kind of bad for thinking this but I can't help but think just suck it up and stop being so irresponsible. Having a smear test is nowhere near as bad as having cancer or dying from it

This comment has made me so angry.

I didn't have a smear test for 9 years and only eventually had one when I had abnormal bleeding, luckily my smear was normal,

I wasn't being irresponsible but I have a history of sexual trauma and genuinely find smears traumatic. My previous one had been exceptionally painful and also caused flashbacks severe distress.

Maybe your friend has had a similar experience, maybe not but hassling her and calling her irresponsible will just make her feel worse.

Bah, typed a reply before I RTFT and realised it was a zombie.

Yabu telling her it won’t hurt. For some women smear tests are excruciating.

@Gingerkittykat

Bah, typed a reply before I RTFT and realised it was a zombie.

Oops me too!

Just my experience, for years I went to our nurse at the doctors who is very good at taking smears, patient, take into account my tilted womb etc.

I couldn't get an appointment with her last time so went to a serial health clinic, and it hurt so bad I bled, and then fainted afterwards. Needless to say, I'll be back to my nurse for the next one.

Good grief, leave her alone!

This is none of your business. She's a grown woman and capable of making her own decisions. Stop bullying her - you've clearly made your point now leave her be.

YABU for saying it doesn't hurt. I've always found them very painful, even since having DC.

For reasons even my closest friends do not know a smear test is impossible for me to have. Please leave her alone.

@FatalCabbage

I don't go because I have PTSD from rape. Reading or being told that it doesn't hurt most women and can save however many lives each year doesn't encourage or enable me to go: it just makes me feel worse about my inability to go. I have tried, but the panic attacks despite sedatives meant I can't get through the door. I think my gynaecologist did one while I was under GA for something else (as discussed in advance).

If a friend bugged and bullied me about not going and teased me about being frightened about the pain, I would want to punch her in her ignorant, smug mouth.

That is exactly my own experience. I’ve only had one in my life while under GA. My current GP is sympathetic, and the gynaecological surgeons I’ve had to deal with in the past year (have needed several surgeries for fibroids) have been excellent at workarounds.

Back off, OP. The brisk ‘don’t be silly’ attitude is unhelpful.

Please encourage her to get it. I had my smear last October and it found cancer - a tumour over 3cm long. I had a radical hysterectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. My consultant was shocked at how quick it had developed after my previous smear. I thank my lucky stars that i went for my smear!

This thread is from 2015.

YABU and so is the GP. Smear tests are a screening tool, not a treatment. Nobody has to be screened if they really don't want to and the GP has absolutely no right to withhold contraception. Would the GP rather she ends up without being screened AND pregnant than simply not being screened?

Sorry, just realised old thread! Not obvious on the app!

THIS IS FROM 2015