To encourage my friend to have a smear test?

[ThatIsVerySilly]

She is 27 now and was called in for her first smear test at the standard age of 25, so two years ago now. However she refuses to have one.

I have told her than nobody likes smear tests, it doesn't hurt and that it's a couple of seconds of embarrasment but she still refuses to have one. She still refuses to have one and has told me that being scared it will hurt or that it will be embarrasing is not the reason why she won't have one but then won't tell me why she won't have one. But what other reason would a woman not want one if not for embarrassment or fear it will hurt?

She is now very upset as when she went to get a repeat prescription of the pill last week her GP told her that she will not be given any more unless she has a smear test. I think this is a good idea as they really are so important and save lives. My friend has told me her GP has nagged her about it in the past so I think they are doing this to push her to have one. Personally I think it's a good idea and sounds sensible.

My friend is still telling me that she doesn't want one though and is now feeling bullied into having one.

WIBU to tell her to just get it over and done with? I feel kind of bad for thinking this but I can't help but think just suck it up and stop being so irresponsible. Having a smear test is nowhere near as bad as having cancer or dying from it.

That is appalling peasant. My GP surgery accepts if you don't want one. Everyone should have the right to refuse medical treatment, even if others think they are wrong.

YABU. The GP should be struck off for blackmailing your friend by holding her birth control hostage. Shocking and unethical behaviour.

I knew you were being unreasonable without even reading your post op. No one has the right to pester or bully/blackmail a woman into a smear. She doesn't have to explain her reasons either. I've had one, will again, but that's my choice. I'm not a special flower for doing so. I certainly don't go on to my friends and family to do the same (and I know of at least two who chose not to).

completely out of order for you to badger her and for GPs to do this and yes they do put pressure on you - I went for a blood test last week and the nurse was pestering me but I won't have one done for reasons that I am not going to disclose to her or here.

I wonder if GPs only refuse to give repeat prescriptions for someone that requires a patient to have a test that they get PAID EXTRA to perform like smears, would they be have the same attitude towards a patient who wanted a repeat prescription but needed a test that is not covered by their QOF payments

Just to be clear. No one should be bullied into doing anything they don't want to.

Your GP is not PAID EXTRA to meet qof targets (which are being phased out anyway). It is part of there basic wages. They must meet the targets, or they won't get half their pay. Every year the targets become more strict, or are changed, so your GP must do more work to receive the same wages.

I don't know why this GP in the OP refused to prescribe more contraception until the OPs friend had her smear. On the face of it, it doesn't seem reasonable but of course we don't have all the information. I do know that I spend a significant proportion of my time, as a HCP, chasing people to have the basic checks that make it safe for them to continue taking their medication. I write note after note on prescriptions and they are just ignored. It would actually be negligible for a GP to continue prescribing in some circumstances.

Please try not to assume that GPs are living their lives focused on earning as much money as possible while fucking over the general public. Most GPs are doing more work for less pay year on year and as a result are leaving the profession in droves.

YABVU.

Abuse survivor here. Smears hurt me every time and cause flashbacks. This kind of smug pushiness would not help me.

Well my rationale for going through a smear is that it is less painful and embarrassing than full blown cancer treatment, even my colposcopy was less painful and embarrassing and I am alive with now a clean smear plate - if she has no previous abuse issues and it is just embarrassment or worry over what discomfort she will experience then Yanbu to try and encourage her to go.

if she has no previous abuse issues and it is just embarrassment or worry over what discomfort she will experience then Yanbu to try and encourage her to go.

The thing is though, how would you know what the reason is if she hasn't told you?

The OP's friend may want a smear test but might just be embarrassed about having one and in that case maybe a bit of encouragement would work.

However if she's been the victim of abuse in the past then encouraging her may be very distressing to her. I know if someone kept encouraging me to have one even after I decided not to I would find it very upsetting.

It's not just abuse, although I can't imagine how awful that must be, a smear can be so invasive. A friend of mine was born a female, has gender dysphoria and lives as a male. They already hate their own body. I cannot imagine suggesting to him to go for a smear, as he still has full female parts. 'Hi, I know you are livable s a man, but don't forget, take good care of those girl parts you still have'. It's beyond rude and inconsiderate. I would think at best his response would be to tell me to mind my own, at worse stop talking to me or give me a smack for being such a smug arse.

"She still refuses to have one and has told me that being scared it will hurt or that it will be embarrassing is not the reason why she won't have one but then won't tell me why she won't have one"

2nd paragraph in the OP makes it clear that it isn't fear of pain or embarrassment but something else that the friend isn't willing to talk about. Frankly that's fair enough, under the circumstances it's likely to be something very personal.

Well my rationale for going through a smear is that it is less painful and embarrassing than full blown cancer treatment, even my colposcopy was less painful and embarrassing and I am alive with now a clean smear plate - if she has no previous abuse issues and it is just embarrassment or worry over what discomfort she will experience then Yanbu to try and encourage her to go.

The problem with posts like that are they are a) emotive b) not informative c) don't respect other women's right to choose d) not balanced and reflective of actual risk e) seem to think women need to justify why they don't want a smear to others f) are rather dismissive and patronising of reasons that are given and seem to think its all about embarrassment

Unfortunately there is something of a benefit to those running screening programmes in having a lot of false positives resulting from screening. Every woman who goes through treatment thinks they have 'been cured' but many will have unnecessary treatment and never know it. But the high number of those having treatment inflates the perception of how prevalent cervical cancer actually is. Its almost a vicious circle that prevents screening programmes from being viewed without prejudge and bias.

This is why, posts like this are generally unhelpful in letting women make an informed decision, because the poster is usually too emotionally involved to give information about actual risk.

Doctor patient relationships rely on informed choice and consent given without duress and unfortunately the aggressive hard sell of screening programmes combined with payment structures greatly undermines this.

Strangely if I read threads about pregnancy women want things backed up with studies but when it comes to cervical screening, the tend to be lost in a culture of fear. It speaks volumes about the way screening has been promoted and doesn't reflect well on the NHS.

If screening programmes are that important then the figures should speak for themselves without the need for emotive or emotionally blackmailing language. This is what women need to hear, not anecdotal scaremongering comments.

Im in my 40s,and a couple of years ago I opted out too. OP,be the one person in your friends life who doesn't nag her about this,that's what she needs.

I think I can contribute the most inappropriate smear test nagging story ever - the midwife while I was in labour. 9cm dilated. Hooked up to syntocinon. She was filling out some part of my notes, but really!

Excellent post, RedToothbrush.

It's her choice, I'm well over 50, and have avoided all government recommended health checks my whole life. If I feel the need I will deal with it but I object to being told what to do, naughty children spring to mind! XX

Just tell her to get her contraception from Spain, no problem, costs a few euros, painless compared to british red tape!!

I don't have smear tests. I believe my risk to be incredibly small and I'm concerned about the false positives. EVERY single time I go to the gp they try and pressure me into a smear there and then.

For those of you that de registered how did you go about this ?

Op leave your friend alone. I would happily fall out over something like this.

Be warned ladies its not just smears that patients are being coerced to have, having turned 60 I have had a several letters and phone calls regarding the NHS Health Check.

The letter I got implied that I HAD to have one - saying its 'due' nothing on the letter to say I can opt out of course.

Another cash generator for my Surgery they not only get paid for doing it but also get paid for every reminder they send to me.

Needless to say that I am not going to have one but my Surgery don't seem to want to accept this.

And it makes interesting reading who they share the results with even if you opt out of data sharing like I have

Who do they share it with oldsu?

I wouldn't try to encourage it, it's very personal and she's old enough to make an informed choice.

I don't know the NHS policy on this, but it somehow feels wrong that they won't prescribe the pill unless she has a smear. That can't be right. And if it isn't, as a friend, I'd encourage her to complain about her GP.

I had a "friend" do this - when I expressed annoyance that I was being asked every appointment with GP on completely different areas and sent lots of letters.

I'd had them before - 2 very unpleasant partly as they were training other and made it very hard to say no and one which was absolutely fine couple of months of first birth - done with baby in room asleep.

This surgery wouldn't do it even with a young baby fast asleep as it wasn't appropriate - had no childcare and this friend couldn't help.

I'm low risk - only sleep with one person my entire life who was a virgin when at the time as well - admittedly I haven't followed him round 24-7 every since but he's given me no reason to suspect cheating. I know that no the same as no risk - but it lowers and already low risk.

I didn't not appreciate the guilt tripping from my friend at all.

I'm surprised they can't offer testing for the HCP viruses yet that cause something like over 90% of cases.

I also think the GP is plain wrong about the pill. Though I'm having my own issue with current GP about that - insists my only option are coils which I don't want - as being late 30s pill is inappropriate but that not what my reading suggests.

Where's the OP?

She's probably too busy nagging her friend to come back.

Do not push her. You already have tried hard enough and the decision is entirely hers. I refuse to have them too, and his came up during an appointment with a nurse when I popped in for a repeat contraceptive prescription. She said, and I quote: "I don't want it lecture you, but...", and then proceeded to lecture me.

I was , though managed to keep my cool until after I left.

HCPs should NEVER ever pressure anyone in to going through any procedure against their will. All they can and should do is educate. Your friend's GP was very wrong to refuse to prescribe her something she has a right to, in exchange for going through an optional procedure.

You make it clear she won't share the reason why she won't go, so it clearly is a big deal to her. Just let her know you are her friend and will support her.