I know, I know, you don't own a name...

[hohummmmm]

So bit of back story, I have 2 dds, after my second I had a bit of time of it. It was touch and go for me, dd was fine. But after she was born I was full of the joys of being alive and having more children wasnt even on my radar.

I had 2 names that I liked for boys and just a few weeks after my traumatic time DSIL came to visit telling us she was pregnant, great news, and that if it was a boy she was planning on using my 2nd boys name choice as "you'll obviously not need it now"

So dn has a lovely name.

Fast forward 5 years and I'm still in my early 30s and DH and I have said that we will give it 2 years until I finish a course I'm doing and maybe consider a 3rd.

However, my other DSIL is pregnant and informed us yesterday if she has a boy she's using our 1st choice...

They are not common names, not even in the top 100. Her DH doesn't like the name.

So, I know it's not definite we'll have a 3rd and if we do it will probably be another girl but am I being unreasonable to say "that's great it's a lovely name, in fact, if we ever have a boy we'll still be using it"??

I'm actually really hurt by it, I know it's ridiculous. She might have a girl so it might be a non issue.

Both DSIL had girls first and had their own choice of boys names, so unsure why they both changed to "my" names when it came to the second children.

I have three sons and no intention of having more children (tbh we didnt exactly intend to have DS3!). Everyone knows what I would have named a daughter had we had one. If a relative or friend used the names of course I wouldn't mind (although I suspect a private and envious small part of me would have a bit of an 'it's not faaaaaair' moment) but neither would I write the names off as unavailable to me in the extremely unlikely event that I would need to name a girl in the future.

She's a bit sad needing to copy you like that

This is why I refused to have a list of potential names until the DC's were born. Loads of friends of ours have been horribly upset when another friend has "stolen" their baby name. It's madness. It's just a name. It can be reused for endless amounts of children.

I waited til the DCs were born, looked at their massive heads and wrinkly-old-man faces and named them then. Best way. Friends of ours have used the same names for their (younger) DC's as mine, but their DS1 has our DS2's name, and their DS2 has our DS1's name. It's nothing more than having the same taste in shoes or handbags; some names you love, some you don't.

I will concede that when DS2 was concieved I did have a girls name in mind just in case. And when he turned out to be a boy, I got a ridiculous spaniel and named her the girl's name instead. Which DH thought was madness. That's my only moment of name-planning.

Just say to her, I know you like the name "Jesus" but if we have a son, we are still naming him that. And do use it.

It's annoying but nothing wrong with several people with the same name in the family. We cope easily with three with the same (lovely) name, although they use slightly different short versions- think Ed, Edward and Teddy, although they all mostly go by the full version of their name. The children in the family don't seem to be in the slightest bit phased or confused by it.

I waited til the DCs were born, looked at their massive heads and wrinkly-old-man faces and named them then

If I'd done that both would have been called Winston

YANBU..
id be annoyed too. I dont think I would want to use it if someone else had. I dont like using the 'top names' either and tend to go out of the top 100. (apart from my last one that I wanted to call George but didn't due to Prince George obviously - he is an Oliver.. practically number 1 on the list but hey!)

when we had our first, we couldn't decide on a name for ages, partly as we didn't know the sex. she was 'baby' for the 2 or 3 days we were in hospital and for few days after. when my husband went back to work he told people her name and one colleagues daughter was my age (back then) and due the following week. she was having a girl and couldn't think of a name either. The colleague ended up having a massive say in naming her granddaughter and gave her the exact same name as my daughter with her own name as the middle name and my daughters middle name as the second middle name. I was I didn't know what to say. I had a little fire of rage inside me though lol. It's not even popular now and I don't know anyone (other than this other kid) with the name 13 years later.

God almighty, imagine letting your mother have a say in your child's name. That girl must be totally bullied.

I don't tell anyone what names I like, definitely not my mother!