Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me out! Am I BU or is DP?

58 replies

breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 10:24

This is an argument we had yesterday but now I'm checking myself!

DP wants to save up for a van to help him with his hobbies (surfing and mountain biking) as our tiny car is making it difficult to get anywhere sensibly (think 9ft 6in surfboard on a smart car!). All good.

Yesterday he decides no, he doesn't want a van, he wants an estate car. I was ok with this (his car, his choice) until he tells me.....the surfboard wouldn't be going on the roof, it would be going IN the car with the front passenger seat down. MY fecking seat! 'Where will I sit?' I say, 'In the back of course!' he replies.

I became a bit rude at this point, told him he could fuck off if he thought I was being relegated to the back of the car on account of a surfboard. He got huffy, said 'fine I'm giving up surfing then' fucking child lol 'Oh well' I say, 'maybe you could take up rambling of something?'. This seemed to upset him and he wailed 'you are so U, all I want is for my surfboard to be safe' Hmm

So......am I BU to not want to be shoved in the back of the car? Or should I suck it up and get a longed for dog so it can sit in the front of my car whilst DP is made to sit in the back?

OP posts:
Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 11:13

Of course mrsfuzzy you can totally get a camel toe from your judgy pants being pulled so far up!! How on earth you can make such a harsh judgment based on a reasonably lighthearted AIBU thread I don't know Confused

OP posts:
minkGrundy · 18/05/2015 11:17

So, would he be prepared to dit in the back while you drive?

There is your clincher.

Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 11:24

No mink I wouldn't and I have told him that, in no uncertain terms.

OP posts:
Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 11:26

Oh god totally read that wrong!! Blush

I will put that too him mink although I can already imagine he would say no because he gets sick in the back of a car!

OP posts:
ltk · 18/05/2015 11:36

If he is very often driving a.long distance with the board, then in the car is the best place for it. If he is travelling mainly to nearby beaches, on the car roof.

Shodan · 18/05/2015 11:37

I have the answer.

Make or buy some kind of trailer/go kart contraption. Attach surfboard to it, covered in clingfilm ( so as not to be spoiled by bird poop). Your DH can then 'surf' his way to the sea as you drive.

Win win. He gets more practice, you get to sit in the front of the car. Plus your ds will love waving at Daddy making funny faces through the back window.

Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 11:40

shodan that has to be THE best solution Grin he would love the extra practice too!

OP posts:
Shodan · 18/05/2015 11:44
Grin
AppleAndBlackberry · 18/05/2015 11:47

I don't know, what's the price difference between a van and an estate car? Is the reason financial or something else?

Also how long is a surfboard? I can fit an adult mountain bike in our medium-sized MPV by just removing the middle seat from the back row (so still 4 seats available). Would something like that be an option? I wouldn't personally care about sometimes having to sit in the back unless I got travel sick but you should maybe think about whether you might have another child in the next couple of years and how you would fit all 4 of you plus a surfboard in.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 18/05/2015 11:52

. He got huffy, said 'fine I'm giving up surfing then' fucking child lol 'Oh well' I say, 'maybe you could take up rambling of something?'.

Love this!

Morelikeguidelines · 18/05/2015 11:53

I would say "I will drive" on any journeys surf board is coming on.

But I get very car sick and the back is not an option for me.

FlaviaAlbia · 18/05/2015 11:58

I agree with morelike agree that the surf board can go in the car, but only when you drive and he has to sit in the back with it and the car seat.

If he objects to that, then you can point out he'll need a roof rack!

Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 11:59

apple his board is 9' 6" . It is kind of financial, he sets his sights far too high and wants the type of van that is just stupid money for what you get (VW T5) I will be getting myself a new car through a scheme at work but the one I have chosen has a 7 month delivery time so he has decided to put 300 a month back. I'm not ordering my car until Sept so has 10 months to save. Plus he has 2 cars to sell to go towards it (I do have a car that is just as tiny as his) so by my maths he'll have about 4000 which is bloody amazing, but not for a VW. boys and their toys!

OP posts:
Aussiemum78 · 18/05/2015 12:03

You can buy roof straps for when you are all together.

www.mcsurf.com.au/shopping/tie-down-roof-rack/46/1

Then he can buy a hatch with fold down seats for other times. Handy for bikes, boards, ikea runs etc.

Aussiemum78 · 18/05/2015 12:04

9"6?

Pffft. Tell him only old men ride boards that big. :)

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 18/05/2015 12:06

Yanbu, no way would be sitting in the back on a number of long journeys. Or any journeys at all, actually. Id drive and he can sit in the back.

Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 12:07

Thanks aussiemum we do have soft racks but, all of a sudden, he can't possibly use themConfused they've done for the past god knows how many years before now!

OP posts:
Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 12:09

Ha ha aussiemum you do it, dare you Grin a longboard has been a lifelong dream of his, he would look like this AngryAngryAngry if I dare to mock the aeroplane wing!

OP posts:
Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 12:11

Christ just realised I omitted one MASSIVE detail.....the flipping surfboard is new in the past month Oops sorry, drip feeding not intended BlushConfused

OP posts:
00100001 · 18/05/2015 12:15

I want to know what he thinks about him sitting in the back!

(I'm guessing there'll be a 'but I get sick' and/or 'it's mycar, so I drive it') Grin

EauPea · 18/05/2015 12:45

What he really needs is a Freda

Next time you are out in the back of the car with him, you and dc need to play the penis wagon game. Every time you see a T5 or T4 shout "Aaaand another one". Even Dh will be sick of the sight and sound of them by time you've hit the A30.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 18/05/2015 13:25

The answer of course, is for him to sit in the back, and you'll drive.
If he's not happy with that, then why should you be?

Original poster
breadstixandhommus · 18/05/2015 13:35

eau that is amazing (and the garage is about 20 mins from us!) The bloody vans are everywhere down here which is why you don't get value for money, too popular with dudes Grin

OP posts:
Andro · 18/05/2015 13:37

He wants to put you in the back? He needs a chauffeur uniform, he can then be Parker to your Lady Penelope whenever the board is in the car!

I don't care how new the board is, his attitude is pretty poor (he should have discussed, not just arbitrarily relegated you to the back seat).

mrsfuzzy · 18/05/2015 14:51

a lot of this is utterly pathetic