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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours at war - house on market nightmare AIBU & WWUD

147 replies

Tutifruity1999 · 17/05/2015 10:59

Backstory
I've been living here 12 years and used to get on quite well with my neighbours who live 5 doors down from me. 5 years ago after I returned to work full time I got another dog to keep my dog company while myself and my partner was at work.

At the time I wasn't aware my new dog was a yapping dog, but I started getting complaints from environmental health noise team. They couldn't tell me who complained so I set up my iPod with a recording app when I went to work.
And both my dogs were barking quite a lot.
My first dog never had barked previously but the new dog was making her bark too. As I live in a semi detached I guessed it was my next door neighbour.

So I got a dog door cat flap installed so the dogs could go out when they pleased.

This seemed to improve things and I never heard anything more until a year later I had two letters from environmental health that two other people had complained.

I phoned the council to discuss things and told them what I had done to combat the problem. I had started working shifts so at that time the dogs were at home from 9-7 six days a week so we arranged for a dog walker to come in twice a day.

Things started getting worse and I was getting letters monthly from environmental health so we set up s video camera to see what was happening and my dogs were at the bottom of my garden barking at the pack of dogs who lived in the garden backing onto mine.

I had problems now as when they were in the house my next door neighbour complained and when they were let out a few of the neighbours complained so I couldn't win. So I was now taking them to a friends mon-fri and they would be left at home only on a Saturday.

Things then got worse and I was getting hand written letters saying shut your f*ing dogs up every Saturday and more letters from the council. As I was coming home one Saturday One of my neighbours came out from 5 doors down who I had previously been friendly with and really had a go at me about it saying things like I was distroying his life.

My point of why I posted
Fast forward to now, it's been a ongoing nightmare with getting shouted at in the street and letters. A relative of mine who owns a house with some land that has died and I have inherited the property and we have spent the last six months doing it up and we will be moving into it soon.

The neighbour who have been verbally abusing me in the street has just sold his house.

Mine has just gone on the market for rent. I haven't got a sign up as I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I am moving with my neighbours but I am using the same agents that he sold his house with.

I had 4 viewings back to back yesterday. I sat in the garden to get out of the way and it seems the verbal neighbours have found out the house is on the market. As soon as my second viewer came round I could hear a high pitched barking dog and loud music blaring from his house. Then his child was playing in the garden screaming. This is from a family who are quiet.

I am certain they are trying to sabotage my viewings. WIBU to go round there and have a word?

I don't know what to do, it was so loud the agent had to go back in the house to discuss feedback as I couldn't hear him.

WWUD?

OP posts:
Roussette · 17/05/2015 16:26

Unless you have lived next to a barking dog, you have no idea what it is like, OP. If EH were involved it must have been very very bad.

I had this and I can honestly say it affected my health for a while. The minute the NDNs left for work their dog would start. Apparently it never barked once when they were there. But I had 8-9 hours of continual barking within feet of me and my house. It had some sort of dog flap and if I shouted "shhhhh" really loudly, it would go inside and be quiet for about 2 minutes. This became a pattern of me doing this to get two minutes quiet. I worked night shifts sometimes, I was getting NO sleep and I wanted to stab someone because I was on my knees with exhaustion. I went to see the neighbour (again) and politely but very firmly put across to her what her bloody dog was doing to my mental and physical health and she did get it rehomed. (I think she was going to anyway, because apparently it had starting snapping at children and she was pregnant). The relief and the wonderful peace and quiet that then happened - I can't put into words how wonderful it was. My situation lasted months. Yours was more than five years.

You have been incredibly selfish OP and you give dog owners a bad name. I am sorry to hear about your DH but really, that is unrelated to the situation. You have inflicted continual barking on your NDNs for 10 hours a day, day in day out and that is reprehensible. If a NDN came to me about problem just ONCE, I would address it. Forget the dog walker, dog flaps etc, you just ignored the problem and thought your dogs had more rights than all your NDNs.

Perfectlypurple · 17/05/2015 16:33

We had a barking dog. Our circumstances changed so the dog was on his own a lot more. As soon as we realised there was a problem we took steps to stop it, it didn't work so the dog was rehomed. We have a neighbour who keeps their dog in a Rubin the garden, it barks all the fucking time and drives us nuts. Even until the early hours.

We have considered getting another dog as our circumstances changed again. We both work shifts. Looking at the shift work we realised that there were too many days where we would both be out for more than 4 or 5 hours. Also we are afraid the neighbours barking dog would set off any dog we had, so we are going to wait until I can afford to go part time or my dh retires. There isn't way we would get a dog that is its own for the majority of the time. I have a friend who has a dog and they are often out at work all day at the same time. The dog is kept I a cage under the stairs. It is a nightmare dog as when out of the cage it goes mad. Not surprising really as it is shut away so much.

Perfectlypurple · 17/05/2015 16:34

*run in the garden

ChuffMuffin · 17/05/2015 16:36

My 7 month old dog has suddenly just discovered barking and is making up for lost time. Very first thing I did was take a box of chocolates to my neighbours either side of me and apologise profusely, and second thing was starting training her to reduce her barking, which is working brilliantly. But then I wouldn't have a dog, yet alone two, if I was working 6 days a week 9 am til 7pm. Shock Sad.

I really don't want to be mean, but you're kind of reaping what you've sown here..

Fairy13 · 17/05/2015 16:47

Earlier you said your dogs go to a friends house mon-fri.
Then you said dog walker comes twice per day and DP is home at 2.

Which is it?

londonrach · 17/05/2015 16:51

Anyone else getting the advert to the side re doddy day care. (Wonders if mn is watching me). Agree with others op

Feminine · 17/05/2015 16:53

I agree op has been remiss.
However l'd bet my last rolo, that if she'd asked here about rehoming her dog... She have been shot down in flames!
Perhaps she did what she thought was right at the time?
You know, because she is a human

PandaMummyofOne · 17/05/2015 16:56

Really OP? I have two huskies, synonymous with singing howling I work four days a week, DP works full time five days a week. When I'm at work they go to doggy day care, courtesy of my DGF. He walks to our home, picks them up between 8:30 and 9:00 and I or DP will get them once we return home. Once on the house they are model dogs and do not make any noise, unless strangers approach the house.

I don't count the constant drumming of wagging tails lol

This was arranged before we went to breeders to look for the them. DGF loves it because they keep him company after my DGM died and give him something to do, whilst not being on their own all day. This is just one of the responsibilities of a decent dog owner.

So yes, very unreasonable and in your shoes, I would have been grovelling at the knees by now!

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 17/05/2015 16:59

The neighbours are human too! Five years of noisy dogs is enough to drive anyone to distraction. Yes she tried to do something about it but it wasn't enough.

When you move to your new property if you have neighbours near you then you need to consider that this may be a problem again.

Feminine · 17/05/2015 17:04

Yes, l do get that it wasn't enough. Nor was what she did, any use.
I suppose l like to concentrate on the bit where op tried.

My mum was driven to a break down over some selfish upstairs neighbours. It was he'll for her.

Original poster
Tutifruity1999 · 17/05/2015 17:06

Yes I have said sorry to them.

I wasnt clear earlier that as soon as the complaints started coming in after the door had been installed the dogs went to my friends they were only only for part of Saturday. Now that my partner and my hours have changed the dogs are only left until 2 not all day

I used to get on well with the neighbour in question and his wife. I didn't know it was them who complained until I got verbally abused one evening. I didnt handle it well at the time but I did try to talk to the wife in the street and she blanked me

OP posts:
Roussette · 17/05/2015 17:14

So they are only left until 2 now, is that what you're saying? If so, that's five bloody hours to be driven to distraction. You said you are semi detached house, do you honestly have no idea how this can affect people? I think you're totally deluded and selfish.

She blanked you, I'd have wanted to clock you one! Have they previously tried to talk to you about it? Did you think "ok doggy flap, that's that sorted then". Taking measures is fine but none of them worked.

I would like to stick you in a room with a tape of a barking dog for ten hours and see how you like it. It affects people's health. One NDN told you that it was destroying his life. I would be beside myself if someone had said that to me, I would have done everything in my power and if it meant rehoming the dogs I would have done.

Original poster
Tutifruity1999 · 17/05/2015 17:21

No they have never spoken to me about it.

My partner thinks I should try and speak to them again.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 17/05/2015 17:22

Oh, well if you said sorry for 5 years of hell its all ok then!

Waltermittythesequel · 17/05/2015 17:24

But you're not actually sorry are you?

You just want to be able to get tenants ASAP!

Stitchintime1 · 17/05/2015 17:25

You need to leave as soon as you can. The relationship probably can't be repaired. Put a sign up so they know that you are leaving. Or just move out and then rent out the place. Once the dogs aren't there, the neighbours will lose their hatred of you.

Bair · 17/05/2015 17:30

the neighbours will lose their hatred of you.

Given the neighbours have sold up I doubt it. They'd have had to declare the noise complaints they made, this may have made selling difficult or even resulted in a lower price being accepted. So to go through 5 years of hell and potential issues with selling to see OP fucking off merrily might sting a bit.

GratefulHead · 17/05/2015 17:35

Difficukt one OP, I do think you've onviously trie dot make changes to address stuff but it's still not helping. Fwiw I had a neighbour with two dogs and they were similar...every morning was a nightmare as they used to hurl themselves at the windows barks g at everything, postman, milkman, leaflet people, newspapers, school run etc etc.. As a nurse who worked nights it was a bloody nightmare and not helped by the owners who were bloody rude when I tentatively tried to speak to them about it. Thankfully they moved.

Roussette · 17/05/2015 17:39

I'm afraid OP, the damage has been done. If it had been 5 months, maybe you could get away with speaking to them and maybe they would be receptive.

I wouldn't speak after more than FIVE years. Too little, too late. They have had every waking moment with your dogs barking, they had to call in EH who wrote to you countless times, yet it still went on and you want them to stop making a noise? I don't agree with what they are doing by by god, I understand why they are doing it.

whois · 17/05/2015 17:45

Five years of barking dogs all day ever day? You're lucky your neighbours weren't poison in a sausage kind of people!

chippednailvarnish · 17/05/2015 17:52

Yep, Karma is a bitch.

Not that you will ever have the grace to admit it.

Fluffcake · 17/05/2015 17:56

Having had a dog barking continuously for about 3 years day and night and the owners not really do anything about it, I have every sympathy for your neigbours.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 17/05/2015 17:58

Get over it and get on with moving out. Don't try to speak to them and I don't know why you don't want people to know you're moving [confuse]

Are you worried the resulting street party may be inconvenient for you?

TandemFlux · 17/05/2015 18:03

You are the neighbour from hell. Yes you could have done more. You could have put him in kennels/care while you were at work each day.

TandemFlux · 17/05/2015 18:06

You could have even found a retired peso who was happy to have them during the day for a daily fee

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