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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours at war - house on market nightmare AIBU & WWUD

147 replies

Tutifruity1999 · 17/05/2015 10:59

Backstory
I've been living here 12 years and used to get on quite well with my neighbours who live 5 doors down from me. 5 years ago after I returned to work full time I got another dog to keep my dog company while myself and my partner was at work.

At the time I wasn't aware my new dog was a yapping dog, but I started getting complaints from environmental health noise team. They couldn't tell me who complained so I set up my iPod with a recording app when I went to work.
And both my dogs were barking quite a lot.
My first dog never had barked previously but the new dog was making her bark too. As I live in a semi detached I guessed it was my next door neighbour.

So I got a dog door cat flap installed so the dogs could go out when they pleased.

This seemed to improve things and I never heard anything more until a year later I had two letters from environmental health that two other people had complained.

I phoned the council to discuss things and told them what I had done to combat the problem. I had started working shifts so at that time the dogs were at home from 9-7 six days a week so we arranged for a dog walker to come in twice a day.

Things started getting worse and I was getting letters monthly from environmental health so we set up s video camera to see what was happening and my dogs were at the bottom of my garden barking at the pack of dogs who lived in the garden backing onto mine.

I had problems now as when they were in the house my next door neighbour complained and when they were let out a few of the neighbours complained so I couldn't win. So I was now taking them to a friends mon-fri and they would be left at home only on a Saturday.

Things then got worse and I was getting hand written letters saying shut your f*ing dogs up every Saturday and more letters from the council. As I was coming home one Saturday One of my neighbours came out from 5 doors down who I had previously been friendly with and really had a go at me about it saying things like I was distroying his life.

My point of why I posted
Fast forward to now, it's been a ongoing nightmare with getting shouted at in the street and letters. A relative of mine who owns a house with some land that has died and I have inherited the property and we have spent the last six months doing it up and we will be moving into it soon.

The neighbour who have been verbally abusing me in the street has just sold his house.

Mine has just gone on the market for rent. I haven't got a sign up as I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I am moving with my neighbours but I am using the same agents that he sold his house with.

I had 4 viewings back to back yesterday. I sat in the garden to get out of the way and it seems the verbal neighbours have found out the house is on the market. As soon as my second viewer came round I could hear a high pitched barking dog and loud music blaring from his house. Then his child was playing in the garden screaming. This is from a family who are quiet.

I am certain they are trying to sabotage my viewings. WIBU to go round there and have a word?

I don't know what to do, it was so loud the agent had to go back in the house to discuss feedback as I couldn't hear him.

WWUD?

OP posts:
GERTI · 17/05/2015 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddening · 17/05/2015 13:26

Just tell the agent that with moving doing the rental now is stressful so you'd rather take it off for a couple of months which will give you time to reprint and clean in order market and show the house at it's best

I think that as cause of the noise dispute and with the neighbour now gone the estate agent can advise whether and how best to divulge the neighbour dispute if you still have to.

juliascurr · 17/05/2015 13:31

www.wikihow.com/Get-Dogs-to-Stop-Barking

noisy neighbours are a NIGHTMARE

DiegoDiegoDiego · 17/05/2015 13:37

You're attached to a dog you refer to as "it" and you left home alone for 10 hours a day, six days a week?

Yeah, sure you are. Hmm

Stitchintime1 · 17/05/2015 13:40

Your neighbourhood should come with a health warning.

Stitchintime1 · 17/05/2015 13:41

Who is the "we" who is moving into the property?

LinesThatICouldntChange · 17/05/2015 13:58

Let me give you an analogy OP.
Imagine your neighbour played a song that grated right through you at top volume. You complained, they turned it down one notch. It was still a massive disturbance so you complained again. They turned it down one more notch. It's still ridiculously intrusive, so they say'ok, I won't play it non stop all day, I'll give you a break from it for an hour mid afternoon.'

And then imagine if your neighbour had the cheek, after years of this, to claim that theyd been very considerate and put themselves out to deign to allow you a limited bit of peace in your own home.

That's how you're coming across. You seem to believe you have done your neighbours some massive favour by making a few adjustments, while failing to see that you are totally out of order in the first place

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 17/05/2015 14:09

Did you at any point in the last 5 years apologise to your neighbours about the noise? When you got that first letter you should have been straight round to all your close neighbours ask if the dogs were a problem, apologise, tell them how you were going to rectify the situation and ask them to let you know immediately if the dogs were a nuisance again.

I'm a dog lover but from what you have described I would be ready to consign you and your dogs to the depths of hell. All you can do now is go round, preferably with wine or chocolate, beg humble forgiveness and point out you are leaving soon; although they may tell you to stuff it and rightly so.

KPlunk · 17/05/2015 14:13

I don't think some dog owners realise how incredibly irritating dog barking is.

it's selfish to expect neighbours to put up with it.

My neighbour has chickens which cluck a lot but are ok but they also have a duck or goose that's makes a loud honking noise from really early in the morning. It's so stupid and selfish of them not to understand how irritating it is. It wakes me up most Saturday's and Sunday's

SistersofPercy · 17/05/2015 14:51

Owning an animal isn't a right, it's a privilege that comes with responsibility. Dogs bark usually through separation anxiety (though simple things like being able to see the street often exacerbate the problem).
Separation anxiety can be cured and not by sticking in a dog door and hoping for the best. Please take yourself over to the dog board, do some research and try and destress your poor animals.

I have a neighbour with a barking dog who does ten hour shifts. Believe me it's far from pleasant.

SkodaLabia · 17/05/2015 14:54

You didn't everything you could, OP, doing everything you could would have been you getting rid of both dogs.

I hate hate hate inconsiderate neighbours.

scarletforya · 17/05/2015 14:55

I don't understand how or why you would want dogs when you're out of the house all day. Sorry but it's so selfish.

Yabvvvu

Tizwailor · 17/05/2015 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 17/05/2015 15:04

sometimes
A person can own a dog, then have circumstances change.
Are some if you saying that re- homing is always the answer in that situation?
In the op 's situation, l feel she tried quite a bit to fix things.
Evidently not enough... But still...

Tizwailor · 17/05/2015 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/05/2015 15:20

I think that you are probably hugely underestimating the effect your dogs barking has had on your neighbours lives.

I am very sorry about your DH, and imagine that if your neighbours knew about his illness & death, sensitivity/sympathy may have prevented them from tackling you over the noise issue at that time. This may have led you to believe that things were OK re: dog noise at times, when really they were not.

Now that time has passed, and the neighbours will have seen that you are living with a new partner, it is completely reasonable for them to start complaining & expecting something to be done.

I'm sorry, OP, but to my mind your options were either change jobs/shift pattern to have someone at home as much as possible - certainly no long day absences. OR to rehome the dogs. Neither would be easy, but they would have been the reasonable approaches.

For now, you can do nothing about the neighbour. Please consider what you will be doing re: working patterns & dog care in your new property though.

D0oinMeCleanin · 17/05/2015 15:26

Feminine, no.

OP's circumstances changes so she bought another dog, to keep hers company, which is misguided at best. Dogs need human companionship. A tiny amount of research would have taught her this.

It's not recommended for dogs to be left alone for more than 4 hours at a time if possible. Op deliberately got a second dog to leave alone for more than double this time, most days. Although I can see her intentions were good, it was selfish.

All OP needed to do was a small bit of research or to call in a dog trainer and all of this would have been explained to her.

The only action she took was action which was convenient for her.

Doggy day cares exist. You can train dogs to accept being left alone for slightly longer periods of time without distressing them. Dog sitters are an option. All options would have worked for OP.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/05/2015 15:30

Stitch - OP says she now lives with a new partner. I'm assuming that OP & Partner = "we".

I could have assumed wrongly though.

IsadoraQuagmire · 17/05/2015 15:33

Owning an animal isn't a right, it's a privilege that comes with responsibility
That's exactly right, if you have animals (same as having children) you have to put their needs before your own because they rely on you to look after them. If you're not prepared to modify your life for them you shouldn't have them at all.
Obviously you're attached to your dogs, but your feelings shouldn't be put before their's because their wellbeing is your responsibility. And they're obviously not happy dogs.

Feminine · 17/05/2015 15:35

It is not unusual to get a second dog.
I see/hear it all the time. D0
Maybe it was the cheapest option?
Time has proved it was the wrong decision in this case.
op says she lost her husband?
Probably not thinking straight possibly?
:) l don't know?

WonderingWillow · 17/05/2015 15:42

You don't know what more you could have done?

Well then everyone on this thread is wasting their time.

Mitzimaybe · 17/05/2015 15:46

OP: AIBU or is my neighbour?

All: YABU

OP: No, I'm not...

lunar1 · 17/05/2015 15:50

I'm surprised that you haven't had the RSPCA around, you have neglected your pets and disturbed your neighbours for 5 years.

Please do go round and ask them to keep the noise down, let us know what they say.

tiggytape · 17/05/2015 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeaufortBelle · 17/05/2015 16:23

We need a unanimous thread section Grin