To wonder why we don't complain more about long queues for the ladies loo?

[BeakyMinder]

Just come back from West End theatre where, yet again, the queue for the ladies stretched right round the theatre - 10 minute wait, spoiling the entire interval - while the gents was totally queue free. It's the same at every theatre, concert hall etc I've ever been to.

I don't get how this is still seen as ok?? I pay the same for my ticket as a man, so how come I have to spend my whole visit queuing and he doesn't?

I did a quick search and apparently there is an official government-approved British Standard (!) for loos which says that there should be double the number of ladies, because we take longer (and also have periods, might be pregnant etc). But most places have the same or even fewer ladies loos - www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200708/cmselect/cmcomloc/636/636.pdf

And I also read that there've been big protests by women in China and USA about this: www.economist.com/blogs/analects/2012/03/toilet-parity

So AIBU to wonder why we don't complain more in the UK?

I think alot of women go to the toilet for a natter. As in woman 'A' says to her group if friends, I'm just off to the loo' & then at least one other says 'I'll come with you'.

Oh we could just get over a bit of piss in the loo. I've seen a ridiculous woman actually recoil in horror because the loo wouldn't flush and the woman before had said "sorry, it won't flush just yet". Ridiculous woman argued that it is better to stay in the cubical and wait for the flush than vacate for the next person.

More loos, more efficient loos and getting the fuck out of there once you've finished because people are waiting - all good.

I wonder what these 15 minute women are getting up to in the cubicles. Reading the Woman's Own, doing The Times crossword, a touch of petit point?

And you can't leave a cubicle until a poo has flushed away. That's just common decency. Everyone knows that.

Poo yes. Pee, no.

I read this and then went to the loo. WARNING - TMI. If I'd have been out then I'd probably have used the disabled toilet. I know that's wrong, but for a few days each month my need for the toilet is different to the rest of the time.

On my period it takes me several minutes to use the loo - I normally poo two or three times a week. On my period it's several times a day. With associated labour pain style cramps. And it's not a quick thing either but more like a visit to the loo when you've got a tummy bug so cleaning up takes a while. Add to that removing and emptying a mooncup AND changing a towel and cleaning that mess up because even with hourly changes I'll still have flooded everywhere for about five days of the month. I then sit on the loo and bear down for a couple of minutes to try and get rid of any blood clots. I am waiting for a gynae appt for all of this.

I then for obvious reasons like to spend a couple of minutes thoroughly washing my hands.

So I'd imagine that menstrual issues do make a difference.

More toilets and updated plumbing for existing toilets is definitely needed in a lot of places. Old plumbing leads to women either waiting for the cistern to fill which holds up the queue or a few women in a row using a toilet that, when it eventually does flush, flushes ao inadequately that it gets blocked and becomes unusable after a few uses meaning there are even fewer cubicles.

Something that sometimes slows me down is cleaning up after the speedy person before. I don't want to sit on your pissy toilet seat, thanks.

And the main reason I can sometimes take ages in a loo is I have IBS which slows me down because it just takes ages and over the years has led to some anxiety over using public loos - worrying that people outside are impatiently waiting for my cubicle does nothing to help me speed up when I am suffering a bout of IBS. This anxiety has also affected my ability to wee when I know there's a queue. I worry about hurrying and it puts be off so I take longer to get going than I would at home or when there isn't a queue.

I imagine other women suffer similar problems it struggle with heavy flow etc. I am certain women aren't just say there doing a crossword or trading War and Peace cover to cover. Have some empathy and try to understand that not everyone is the same as you. Be pleased you can just nip in and out. Those of us that can't, for whatever reason, do not enjoy having to take so long. The OP is right, being slow isn't the issue- more toilets are needed to accommodate ALL women who need the loo, no matter how long ty take or how oh-so-impressively quick they are.

*Reading War and Peace, obviously!

Last time I went to the playhouse in edinburgh they changed some of the gents to ladies for the interval and stuck a member of staff outside directing ladies to it - I thought that was genius. It was pretty smelly but I was back at the bar before DH

I get that there are some women with issues that are invisible. BUT That does not account for the number of women that take soooooo long in cubicles when there is a queue. Add to that the woefully inadequate provision in a lot of places and antiquated plumbing and you have a compound problem. My old uni housemate would take an age on the loo. No problems (we would have known). She Just day dreamed. She just didn't get that it was inconsiderate.

I organised a "raid" on the gents at the NEC arena. Huge queues for the women's and none for the men's. Two women on guard at the entrance and in we went. People leaving "relieved" the guards.

Security weren't too happy but there were too many of us in occupation.

But Pilgit there are just as likely to be men who daydream or just don't care about making others wait. They get to enjoy that luxury whereas women don't.

We should have the opportunity to sit on the toilet for a couple of minutes just as much as the men. We shouldn't need to rush because of inadequate facilities.

I agree with Punk and others. What the hell are they doing in there? I can understand the need for a double flush sometimes but otherwise?

I'm someone who takes a long time in the loo, it's not deliberate, it's just the pace I go at!

I also suffer a bit from being 'pee shy'. I can be absolutely bursting but unable to go because I'm worried someone will hear, or get annoyed with me taking so long (oh the irony!)

In the couple of minutes it takes someone else to wee, sort out clothes, flush and leave I could only just be getting started!

I got barred from the Students Union at uni for using the gents rather than waiting forever in the ladies queue. No-one other than the security chap was in the least bit fussed.

I think the issue is probably people who poo in public loos.....sometimes it's unavoidable and if the cistern has just flushed you have to wait in order to flush it away. No one is going to leave a poo in a loo and say "sorry it won't flush yet!".
Periods don't usually take long to sort out etc and someone cited religious reasons.....I think anyone praying in a loo is really pushing it!

The state of mens toilets can be rank (think - unflushed, pebble dashed cess pits). You won't find a man waiting for a slow filling cistern to fill up before exiting a cubicle. If you're desperate, you're willing surely to tolerate an inflated or partially flushed loo?

Somebody should invent a light up sign that could go on the back of every door.
If a person has been in there longer than 5 minutes, it would give a 'gentle reminder' that there are lots of others who would also like to use the toilet.
A bit like the speed warnings on motorways.

We should have timed loos whereby the door automatically opens after 3 minutes

Oh yes!

"A little off-topic, but I've also wondered if there's a similar "female-blindness" in terms of research for new medicines etc. Is the disgusting cranberry-flavoured powder really the best that cutting-edge modern medicine can do for a UTI without resorting to anti-biotics? Is a pessary and some cream really the best that can be done for thrush?! Etc..."

Hovis, it's worse than this. Women have often in the past not been represented in clinical trials for new medicine. As women might respond differently to some medications than men, then that means treatments that aren't as effective as they could be for women.

www.bu.edu/today/2014/why-medical-research-often-ignores-women/

"We should have timed loos whereby the door automatically opens after 3 minutes"

WOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, let's humiliate and degrade any women who take longer than the "decreed" acceptable time. They can fucking hide at home and never come out in public. Bitches. How fucking dare they even exist.

Quite a few bars and restaurants near me have gone down the unisex toilets route and have opted for an all cubicle format (no urinals) and I am sorry to say, from my personal experience, women take way longer then guys. I can't believe that each women was doing a 'number two' or having a menstrual emergency, or had IBS, or had clothing any more complicated then what the guys had on, they just seemed to take much much longer. Its not just the act of going to the toilet though, it is the general clogging up of the toilet area, all the faffing each side of the act, the need to touch up make up at every visit, arsing about trying to find that brush in their bag, taking selfies on their phone (yes I have seen this), texting on the phone, crying, moaning about person X, I have spent ages waiting to wash my hands while the mirror and sink area is being monopolised and received roll eyed tutting for my efforts for having the audacity to want to be hygienic before returning to my table.

People take selfies in the loo? Good God Why?

That's kind of the point, Pan. The expectations of society on how women should look and behave does mean that they take longer. Blame the guys who will only go out with a woman if she has make up on, or who listen in on their conversation at the table.

I also don't see how you can think that a man undoing a zip and standing would take the same amount of time as a woman having to lower/raise clothing and sitting. Women also have to wipe more, and they are advised to wait 30 seconds then try again to ensure that the bladder is truly empty to avoid cystitis.

Factor in, periods, pregnancy, cystitis, extra clothing, extra wiping, make up, desire for private/personal conversation etc. the guidelines are that there should be twice as many female toilets, so of course that means women take longer, and they have to go more frequently. In fact, a mixed bathroom should be 2:1 ratio of female to male.

And why shouldn't someone faffing if they want to? Since when did it become necessary to rush going to the loo like some stealth military organization? Can't we just pee in peace?

Btw, is it no longer the legal requirement that places serving alcohol have to have segregated toilets? There prob is a male only space if you need it.

(For the poster asking about religious reasons for single sex toilets, there will be people who need/want to be separated. Not for prayer, but privacy)

The loos are not the place for private or personal conversations. They are for using the toilet and then getting out the way.

Surely everyone agrees you should go as quickly as you can if there are other people waiting? That allows for everyone's needs to be accommodated by probably not wants. Tittivating, hair brushing, texting and private convesations are for your own bathroom when there's other people waiting.