To be worried about my (nearly) 18 month olds speech?

[TheWhoOfWhoville]

Sorry for the length, but wanted to give all of the details. Ds is 17.5 months, was a little early so corrected age is 16.5 months. He speaks very little, well below the average for 18 months which I've been told is a minimum of 20 words.

He can say mama (occasionally) and dadda, but these seem to be directed at anything and everything! Makes a noise which sounds like the name of our cat, again this isn't consistent but he's definitely does it a few times a week and says 'duff' which seems to be yes and is very consistent and his main word. He shakes his head for no, waves goodbye, points at what he wants with lots of angry 'urhhh, urhhh' noises - so there is some communication but not many if any definite words.

He understands some basic instructions eg where is your ball, clap hands, where are your feet, where are the apples, but looks at bit blank at some things I say. I find it hard to tell just how much he understands as he's such a busy and wilful little boy, he doesn't want to stop and listen or do what I ask as he seems to have a very clear idea if what he wants to be doing most of the time which he doesn't want to stop. Should probably mention that he does make eye contact, socialises well with other children and adults and will listen and concentrate when in the right mood. He also chatters quite a bit, it's just not actuall words.

Aibu to be concerned? I keep getting told that they'll all do it in their own time, he'll probably come out with full sentences, my kid was the same etc but to me this seems behind for his age and I wonder if people are trying to be kind rather than tell me straight? If there is a problem I want to do what I can to help him at home and/or get a referral, not just stick my head in the sand.

He sounds normal for 16.5 months, and I've never heard that 18 month olds should have a minimum of 18 words. My DS (who was born at term and is NT) had 3-4 words at 18 months, but was talking in sentences by 2. I don't think you need to be concerned at all.

He sounds fine to me. My 2 year old still chatters a lot but is picking up more words now. I wouldn't worry yet. If your concerned speak to your Health Visitor - I had my sons 2 year review and they had info on what is looked for at each age.

Both sons are at nursery and have 'failed' these tests at various points but have always got there in the end. My 4 year old does not shut up now!

My boys just prefer the physical side to development - too busy running to talk!

People are not being kind, they are telling the truth. Where did you get a minimum of 20 words from? Really, children are different.
I think your attitude to your child is more worrying. Describing an 18 month old as 'wilful' and apparently complaining and criticising him for not wanting to stop what he is doing and listen to you instead is not living in the real world of toddlers! Of course he ignores you and continues doing what he wants. He is 18 months old! That behaviour is going to continue for some time to come. He is just a mass of wants at this age. He is not developmentally capable of anything else.
I think you need to start understanding toddlers and your little individual boy. That might help you to enjoy him more and worry less.

Wow! Harsh much tree?!

It won't do you any harm to get his hearing tested if his understanding also isn't great. Although at this stage even if there is a problem it probably isn't the time to be worrying. He is still very little.

My little boy is 17 months on the 20th of this month and says, yes, no, brum brum, mama, dada, ta, peeeez, ball and bubbles.

He also says a variation of our cats name and a few random sounds that I know what they are but aren't correct sounding at all. Basically, well below 20 words, none of the other babies the same age as him in the group's we go to have that many either. My niece spoke really early so I know some do but I'd say before 2 what you describe is fairly normal.

Sometimes he'll follow instructions, sometimes he won't. I think it's just 17 month old attention span.

It's not even occured to me to be worried about his understanding or communication at all. If you have any concerns you could mention it to your HV but I wouldn't worry from what you say.

Of course he ignores you and continues doing what he wants...That behaviour is going to continue for some time to come.

For the rest of his life maybe?

Sophie, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I think It is harsher to let someone continue to think that there might be something wrong with their toddler because he would rather do his own thing.

I think they concentrate on one thing at a time. My toddler had loads of words and a few 2-word phrases at 17 months, but couldn't walk independently until 18 months. Other babies I know have either done a bit of both or have been walking, running and climbing way before they said many recognisable words. If you're not otherwise worried, I don't think you need to be worried about this.

My hv told me two year olds should be able to coherently speak between 8 and 20 words, which sounds more likely to me than what you've been told.

My ds had about five words at 18mo. He's 20.5mo now and i've lost track of his number of words... loads more every week but still no mum or dad and no word combinations or sentences... but all going in the right direction.

I certainly wouldn't be looking for a referral until the 2yr HV check at the earliest, I was a bit worried about my ds at 18mo but now i'm sure he'll be speaking ok for his 2yr check.

I think this is below average but it sounds as though his actual communication is ok. 5-20 would be in the normal range (and this is from my child development texts). The pointing, eye contact, socialisation etc are all very reassuring.

I would wait till 2 and if there's no two word combinations and/or about 50 words ask for a speech referral. I agree with geting his hearing checked. Expressive language delays can be very frustrating for young children (and their parents). If there's a family history of significant speech difficulties then I'd ask for an earlier referral.

Here's the criteria for referral:

www.patient.co.uk/doctor/delay-in-talking

• There is no double syllable babble at a year.
• There are fewer than six words, or there is persistent drooling, at 18 months.
• There are no two- to three- word sentences by 2½ years.
• Speech remains unintelligible by 4 years.

He isn't 18 months yet (not even chronological), so it doesn't sound like it's worrying yet?

Er Tree? All my children were "wilful" at 18 months old. I think that describing them as such is absolutely living in the real world of toddlers.

OP- my DS1 was similar, perhaps with a few more single words at 18 months than your DS yet I was worried. I was also comforted by the fact that I did consider his understanding of what was being said to him to be very good (and his nursery agreed when I discussed my concerns with his key worker). I did have access however to a very good HV team who were both helpful and willing to let me take the lead. We agreed (mainly driven by me) to leave things be until he was 2 and reassess the situation then. At that point (when he was 2) I was happy that he was coming along and we took no further action. When he was just turned 4 I did get him referred to a SALT as I thought he was a bit behind and it was suggested to me that I had absolutely nothing to lose by taking a referral and accessing help if it was needed. Actually the SALT said he was fine just still catching up from being a bit delayed to start with and generally these things even out at around 6.5 years where a child has just started a bit later than others (ie is just at the slower end of normal range).

If you are at all worried then speak to the HV team and at least get it on the radar. Really there is nothing to lose by discussing your concerns and being ready to access help should you need it.

Your son is using lots of non-verbal communication by the sound of what you've written. Babble/chatter, pointing, gesturing, definite sounds for some words, makes eye contact, follows some simple instructions and is sociable. Thats all great and means he's well within normal parameters for under 18 months.

Nobody is likely to do anything at 16 months, its too early. Between about 18 months and 2.5 years if he doesn't seem to progress much its worth asking for a hearing test to rule that out and the HV to arrange a Speech and Language assessment. Our local area have a self-referral service for this, yours might too. Its just a half-hour of playing in a room with a Speech & Language assistant asking you questions while she plays with your child. At the end of the session she will either put your mind at rest or make a referral for some more sessions (which will probably be months and months in the pipeline).

The best thing you can do to encourage the development of speech and language is to get down on his level and talk to him. Describe everything you are both doing in simple language, narrate his play, "ds is driving the car", "lets brmm fast", "Weee down the slide!" Lots of "Ready, steady GO" with the aim of him doing the GO when he gets the hang of it or "Wheres DS? BOO!" where he gets to do the BOO. Narrate what you're doing during day to day life, talk about it all, the car, the washing, eating, where you're going today. Feel silly. They soak it all up like a sponge.

FWIW 20 words at 18 months is quite a bit. Babycentre says between 6 and 20 words. Talking Point is another useful site with lots of helpful information about speech development.

My anecdote is DS1 had 10 words at two. Now at 4.5 with some S&L play therapy sessions he's been signed off the service and doesn't shut up. He is indistinguishable from his peers, even the ones who were talking full sentences at 18 months old.

Tree- the 20 words comes from a health visitor and nhs guidelines. I don't see wilful as a bad thing, and I haven't criticised him for not stopping and listening, I mentioned this to demonstrate that it was hard to gauge his understanding as he's too busy doing his own thing to be interested in my questions or prompts. Please don't assume to know about my attitude to my child based on something that's not there.

Barbarian - no, I don't have any other concerns. Motor skills, social skills etc all seem fine, it's really just the speech that I was worrying about.

Thanks to everyone for your comments, it's nice to hear aibu! I was just concerned that friends and family didn't want to worry me, but good to know that all seems normal and perhaps the guidelines I've read are a little over ambitious!

That's really helpful thanks coffee

He sounds like my youngest. He hardly said any recognisable words until he was 2. He walked very early though, crawled at 7 months and was confidently walking by 9 months. Dd2 was the opposite and was talking in simple sentences at 18 months but didn't walk till 14 months.

I've noticed with my children and friends children that they tended to develop walking or speech, so those who were comparatively late to walk were comparatively early to have lots of recognisable words iyswim.

www.talkingpoint.org.uk/ages-and-stages/12-18-months

I found this website useful. My DS is 15m and has no words at all. The HV has requested a hearing test for him and a visit from a nursery nurse with a background in speech therapy.

The guidance on the link is up to 20 words, not a minimum of 20. I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to stick your head in the sand. Family members seem to take offence that I think he might need help but if there is an issue then I want it to be dealt with at the earliest opportunity.

the 20 words comes from a health visitor and nhs guidelines

Could you show me these if possible? Given what I've posted above is from patient.co.uk sounds like some wires are crossed?

Absolutely toast! Perhaps I've misunderstood then if it should be up to 20 words.

Drspouse- I will see if I can find it. Also thanks for your link, very helpful.

OP your little boy sounds exactly like my DS2 (17 mths) - too busy wrecking stuff to talk. However I am fairly sure my DS knows words and just doesn't use them, he called me "annoying" the other day but hasn't uttered it since.

My DS1 was similar and is now 4 and doesn't shut up, so I'm enjoying the peace.

Keep chatting away to him and it'll come in time.

I think your little boy sounds like a normal child of 17 months!

I have know a few girls (and obvs there will be a few boys out there too) to have 20 word by 18 months but they are in the small minority.

By far most of the boys I have known have not been speaking by 2yo. None of my 3 did.
OP it honestly is totally normal for an 18mo to not talk. Just keep an eye on him.

Drspouse - sorry you are right, it says average is 6-20 at 18 months on the site I was looking at (which was an nhs Scotland guide for speech referral). I must have gotten the minimum of 20 words from my hv or a less reliable source online. That does make me feel better.