To be worried about my (nearly) 18 month olds speech?

[TheWhoOfWhoville]

Sorry for the length, but wanted to give all of the details. Ds is 17.5 months, was a little early so corrected age is 16.5 months. He speaks very little, well below the average for 18 months which I've been told is a minimum of 20 words.

He can say mama (occasionally) and dadda, but these seem to be directed at anything and everything! Makes a noise which sounds like the name of our cat, again this isn't consistent but he's definitely does it a few times a week and says 'duff' which seems to be yes and is very consistent and his main word. He shakes his head for no, waves goodbye, points at what he wants with lots of angry 'urhhh, urhhh' noises - so there is some communication but not many if any definite words.

He understands some basic instructions eg where is your ball, clap hands, where are your feet, where are the apples, but looks at bit blank at some things I say. I find it hard to tell just how much he understands as he's such a busy and wilful little boy, he doesn't want to stop and listen or do what I ask as he seems to have a very clear idea if what he wants to be doing most of the time which he doesn't want to stop. Should probably mention that he does make eye contact, socialises well with other children and adults and will listen and concentrate when in the right mood. He also chatters quite a bit, it's just not actuall words.

Aibu to be concerned? I keep getting told that they'll all do it in their own time, he'll probably come out with full sentences, my kid was the same etc but to me this seems behind for his age and I wonder if people are trying to be kind rather than tell me straight? If there is a problem I want to do what I can to help him at home and/or get a referral, not just stick my head in the sand.

zzzzz, in our area you certainly can't self refer for SALT - and in fact when my youngest had her 2 year check I was told that no referral was possible until she was 2 years, 6 months (this despite the fact that dd had no words at all). The lovely HV agreed to phone me on the day my dd turned 2 and a half, to begin the referral process.

OP, I'd definitely talk to the professionals, and if you can, get on waiting lists for SALT (if it turns out your son doesn't need speech therapy, you just cancel the appointment). The only advice I'd have - as the mother of three severely delayed dds - is don't accept group therapy. It's a complete waste of everyone's time. Hang on for one-to-one sessions, even if it means a longer wait.

Writer I would direct your friend to the online MCHAT test (you can Google it). It is designed for children aged around 18 months but most on the internet allow to you adjust for age.

One thing I would say is that HV's are often absolutely hopeless at spotting the signs and so I would advise her not to rely on her advice (even my son's NHS consultant paed said DS didn't have autism - three weeks before we were told my one of the country's top autism specialists (private) that she was 100% sure that he does (and a year on it is patently obvious he does). So that maybe gives you an idea of how little faith I have in the NHS on these matters...

If she has real concerns after doing the MCHAT test, I would tell her to go straight to her GP and really push for a referral.

PS - I also think what zzzzz says is completely valid! Us mothers of autistic children often say that if you as a mother have a gut feeling something is wrong, it usually is. So I completely understand her view.

I have a nearly 19 month old. She probably doesn't say 20 words and it's only really us, her immediate family, that can understand what she does say; Mummmeeeee, Daddddeeeee, baby, fank-oo, bye-bye, night-night, no, helloooo, down, more, bot-bot (for bottle).... Oh and she can sort of say one of her 3 siblings names. That's pretty much it.

I'm a teeny bit worried but only because my older DD said way more at this age. I know a few other 18 month olds and I'd say at least half of them don't have 20 words. This is DC4 for me though, so I'm quite relaxed. If it was my first, I know I would have been trawling Google and phoning the HV by now - you naturally worry and compare much more with your first.

I think the fact that your LO is following basic instructions, concentrates, makes eye contact and socialises is probably all you need to reassure yourself right now that he's doing fine. A lot of my DD's words have only appeared in the last 3 weeks or so. Before that it was just Mummmeeeee and bot-bot so maybe it will be the same for your bub.

I have 2 gdc, my GDD, 18 months is a really good talker, talking in sentences etc, ie, where mam gone? bye nanna, love you- etc--- my GDS, who is 21 months is no where near that talking stage, he does say a few words, but he more advanced in other ways, climbing, walking up & down stairs etc, -

they all develop at different stages, GDS walked before his 1st bday, GDD, was 14 month.

zzzzz, the HV told me this. My first two dds were referred at their two year check, but the policy changed by dd3. I've no idea of the rationale behind it - perhaps it was based simply on the idea that a large number of children speech seems to 'turn on' - IYSWIM - between 2 and 2.5. Either that, or it's a way of saving money. This was five years ago, and it's possible that referrals can now be done earlier.

Hearing tests are done before a referral (I think, although I can't remember as it was 5 years ago, dd3's hearing test was booked in at her two year check).

The fact that my dds all had the same problem didn't seem to give me any easier access to speech therapy. With dd2, for example, I had to say that her nursery had concerns before they'd refer... despite the fact that she was only grunting at her two year check.

Oh, and thanks for the advice zzzzz - my dds are all signed off SALT now, but I tend to click on threads about speech delays because I remember how stressful they are (and I rather expected delays as I have a really strong family history of speech delay).

It actually seems a long time ago that I was regularly sitting in the speech therapist waiting rooms, but it's only a couple of years.

DD (DC3) is 18mths and she sounds very similar to your DS. She definitely has some words (Mama, Dada, ball, car) and a lot of sounds that are almost words. Nowhere near full sentences! She doesn't listen to a word I say most of the time but she can definitely hear and understand me, which you can test by standing in the kitchen and saying "biscuit"

I really wouldn't worry about him!

Dimplehands - as a mother of a child with autism, who had speech and language difficulties at 18 months as described by the op, I would urge her to speak to someone about her concerns.
My child while not having any words at 18 months, was well able to understand me and pointed a lot at things.
The 'symptoms' of one child with autism are just that. No two children with autism are the same, they may have difficulties in the same areas, but not present in the same way.
The op has a 'gut feeling' that something is not right, therefore should act on that.

I also want to add that my child did have hearing issues and had grommets for glue ear, but he still has autism.

Thanks for that advice.

Where I'm from the development checks aren't done until children are 2.5-3 years old and SALT referral can only be done at 2.5 at the earliest.

My friends son is 7 months away (at a minimum) of having his development check and that seems so long considering his mom is already concerned.

He used to say cat and yan-dad (grandad) but this was months and months ago (6 months maybe) but he doesn't say them anymore (he stopped saying them about four months ago) and he has never said another word.

All he does is grunt. He has got a picture book that he makes my friend read all the time and he will point and grunt at every single picture but he doesn't look at his mom when she says what the picture is. It's almost like a robotic behaviour.

He can spend hours and hours at my house and apart from his grunts he won't make a single noise. He doesn't make any chattering or babbling noises, he is just silent.

He will make eye contact but he has no facial expressions. I can smile at him, play with him, and talk at him and there's no facial reaction at all. He just stares.

The only time his 'seriousness' changes is when he's tickled and he laughs.

He will sit and play with his sister (aged 6) but at the childminder's house, where he goes once a week, he generally keeps himself to himself.

My friend has expressed concerns about his behaviour in that he smacks, slaps, punches, bites, pull hair etc and that nothing she does in terms of managing it has worked. I said it may be frustration because he can't speak.

Although he won't speak he seems to understand everything that is said to him.

It probably doesn't seem a lot written down but he just feels that something isn't right.

Writer, regression like that is a HUGE red flag. Generally speaking children just don't regress in that way. The sooner your friends little boy is seen and diagnosed if needs be, the sooner he can access help.

I did dixie - maybe I'm too involved, I don't know. I will make the time to go and see her next week though when her DH isn't about and I will try and get her to see why she should get DS seen.

I had a look at the M-CHAT website but I couldn't work out how to alter the age.

I have just arranged to see my friend next Tuesday so I have a good few days to think of how to say something diplomatically. The good thing though is that she broached it with me first so it may not come as a complete surprise when I talk to her.

Her DH is a very proud up his own arse man, cares a lot about what people think, which is why he stopped my friend from speaking to the HV initially as he said that by asking for support and advice the HV team would think they were bad parents

I absolutely hope my worries turn out to be unfounded because God knows how the DH would react to their possibly being a developmental issue with their son.

I know for definite she won't mention ASD as it won't even occur to her. It's not a condition she has any knowledge or awareness of.

I will go down the hearing test, HV referral route then - good idea.

@TheWhoOfWhoville so sorry for posting so late in the day but just wondering how things are now as this sounds like my 18 month old and I’m anxious 😥 xx

Hi Mwilliams, I'm the op but had a name change. If its any comfort I'd completely forgotten even posting this! My son is 9 now and he's a really bright, lovely boy, no concerns over speech, development etc in any area and he does really well in school 😊 once he started talking it was quite advanced, sentences and pretty grown up. He had a stammer for a short time at about 3, which was very stressful. Speech therapist put this down to his vocabulary and speech having exploded quite rapidly, but it was short lived and we have no issues at all now.

Hope this helps a bit.

@Humptydumpty85 That has really helped, thank you 🙏🏼 glad your son is all good 😊 xx

Hi just wanted to know did ur som talk later on ..mine son is the same sorry I knw it's been a while now

My daughter is 21 months and has just said her 4th word. I'm not too worried as her brother was the same and didn't say much til he was 2.

My son is 18 months says appo for apple,up when he climbs,oh oh,no no,bye bye waves smtyms when he says it, shoe just randomly,no mama or dada, copies actions,good eye contact,no pointing yet but does show how plane flies,claps hands, ok around strangers doesn't make any fuss, worried like hell has he has no much words.