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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that doing the shopping includes putting it away.

38 replies

AtArPo · 12/05/2015 23:57

DP was alone today, as DSD was at the childminders and we do not have her tonight, so offered to do the shopping. This was greatfully received as we were down to the smell of the onion for supper. We also decided to go and see a film so I went straight from work to cinema, DP meeting me there, and when we got back the lidle bags where in the hall right by the front door.

DP said that everything that needed to be put away was and the rest would be done tomorrow. I have been known to leave pasta and things in the bags downstairs in the kitchen before so I figure I can't complain about the hall as it isn't far/doesn't really matter. Then when getting loo roll out for DP I notice mince, after a quick check I find steak, sausages and fresh fish also. All in the bags which are right next to a radiator.

When I complain about this it turns out that everything that needed to be put away was only the frozen stuff and DP refused to put the rest away as 'too tired to do it know'. So I have to tromp down into the cold kitchen to put it all away, come back up two flights of stairs to a 'I'm sorry' and when I mention that there was raw fish and pork left out, the response is 'I said I was sorry'. Just has really pissed me off, thanks for reading, I think Wine may be required with bed.

OP posts:
MagelanicClouds · 13/05/2015 06:53

Yanbu.
You deserved the wine.

PeachyPants · 13/05/2015 07:04

lazy and infuriating, feed him the meat and let him play salmonella roulette Smile.

sandgrown · 13/05/2015 07:12

I do get annoyed if I go shopping and when I am struggling in with bags DH and DS do not come to help. When I ask for help putting away they do one thing and walk off! I do I insist that all frozen/chilled stuff goes away . It is just common sense . You are right to be angry especially if you have to throw food away

ilikebaking · 13/05/2015 07:14

He is a lazy, selfish, child like man.
Does he do anything right?

Triliteral · 13/05/2015 07:16

Better not to do the shopping at all, than to do the shopping then render some of the most expensive items unsafe. Maybe he needs educating in food safety sometime when you have both calmed down.

cherryblossomtime · 13/05/2015 07:19

I think it would have been ok if he had put the chilled stuff away and left the other things. It depends what else he was doing though. If he was not doing much all day he could have probably been a bit more helpful and put it all away.

devon004 · 13/05/2015 07:21

In your situation yanbu. However, I normally do the shopping and on occasions dh stays home with dc. On at least one occassion when pregnant I had to ask him to help put away.

whitewineandchocolate · 13/05/2015 07:24

YANBU - I wouldn't even expect my teenagers to leave out fridge stuff.

Mousefinkle · 13/05/2015 07:30

Yanbu. Stuff that needs to be put away immediately includes chilled items as well as frozen and leaving them in front of a radiator is especially vile.

00100001 · 13/05/2015 07:34

Why is your radiator on? Its not cold!

Squeegle · 13/05/2015 07:34

YANBU
The putting away is the worst part of the shopping! And needs to be done before a night out!

MammaTJ · 13/05/2015 07:35

Sorry, I have to ask, was the radiator actually on? They haven't been on for a couple of months here!

DelphiniumBlue · 13/05/2015 07:38

Did he seriously think it was OK to leave fish out overnight?
If that's really true, then he needs food hygiene education straightaway.
Who usually does the shopping and cooking? Has he really not learnt about this?
I'm quite often shocked by my DH's lacvk of knowledge in the kitchen, and failure to apply basic science rules, but even he wouldn't do that.
fwiw, I don't think its ok that even the dried/ tinned stuff should be left out- its just piling up work for later.
I'd let him practice doing the shopping and putting it away, possibly under supervision!

oddfodd · 13/05/2015 08:13

I don't understand the offering part - if you're two adults, you take turns surely.

Being too tired to put shopping away is pathetic. It's the sort of thing a child says when they don't want to tidy up.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 13/05/2015 08:22

We'll I guess it's veggie meals for the week in your house so.
And yes, he was an arse for not putting chilled food into the fridge.

cherryblossomtime · 13/05/2015 08:41

Depending if the radiator was on I would definitely eat some of the items if well cooked. If the radiator was on might worry more.

Chunkymonkey79 · 13/05/2015 08:43

Yanbu

If i am being extra lazy i might leave a bag of toiletries to be sorted later but never food especially that needs to be kept chilled or frozen!

Nolim · 13/05/2015 08:46

Yanbu. Were you suposed to double check that the groceries were correctly stored or just magically guess??

Momagain1 · 13/05/2015 08:48

He put it off so late he didnt have time. It isnt really a grocery problem so much as a get your ass in gear and do the job in a timely manner problem.

Please tell me you threw out the meat and fish. No way it is safe to eat, but your post isnt clear.

pollykinesis · 13/05/2015 08:50

YANBU, that's beyond annoying. My DH does the classic; empty all the bags on the kitchen table, counter, stove top then put about 50% of the stuff away. He also leaves the sink full of Luke warm dirtY water post dish washing.. So gross, I hate putting my hand in to pull out the plug... But that's another AIBU

Mrsjayy · 13/05/2015 08:52

Id be really annoyed but when dh does the shopping i help him put it away food shopping is a drudge so the quicker away the better imo

Momagain1 · 13/05/2015 08:53

Why is your radiator on? Its not cold!*

Scotland, and other mountainous regions beg to differ.

MrsCaptainReynolds · 13/05/2015 08:54

What a manchild. Hate half done jobs. Reeks of reluctant teenage sulk. Very unattractive.

mrsmeerkat · 13/05/2015 08:55

That would irritate the hell out of me

SanityClause · 13/05/2015 08:59

And to think I get annoyed that the toiletries are always just left "on the side" instead of being put away.

But leaving out meat and fish is just beyond the pale!

It's supposed to be okay, because he said he was sorry?

A mistake would be one thing (eg, overlooking one packet of mince, but putting the rest away). Annoying, but we all make mistakes. This was not a mistake, though.

In America, this is called klutz-ing out. Doing a job so badly, you won't be asked to do it again.

He is an adult member of the household, and should do his reasonable share of the chores to a reasonable standard.

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