To go to the Dr about anxiety?

[36hourdayplease]

Hello

It's been years since I've been on here, but I remember AIBU always had the most traffic.

I planned to post on here yesterday - but I had an almighty shit day so thought I'd post today ... which is proving a 'good' day up to now. Most likely due to the fact 3 year old is at nursery and 1 year old is having a nap!

Basically ... is there any point in me going to the Dr's about anxiety? If I go on a 'good' day, I'll smile, joke and be embarrassed about wasting an appointment. Tell the Dr a good nights sleep has made me feel better and I'll depart blushing promising if I feel sad/anxious again soon, that I'll come back.

If I go on a 'bad' day ... I'll probably cry so much I can't speak and he'll put me on antidepressants.

I am FULLY aware that on the outside I am smiley, kind, considerate, have a lovely family and friends. A car. A house. A job. So what is there to moan about?

I've just lost my Dad at 67. He was ill - but it was being treated and we were hoping that in a matter of time he'd be well and back to himself. It was a shock and I think about him all the time. I miss him so very very much.

I've always been a little anxious and been able to control my panic attacks - which have never turned into full blown panic attacks, but my heart races, I go dizzy, my palms sweat and it takes a good few minutes of deep breathing and talking to myself to bring myself out of them.

To add to this, we're in the process of moving (was to be closer to my Mum and Dad) and it's all balancing on our mortgage provider now requesting further document to prove my husbands self employed income. We are holding up the chain - pregnant woman at bottom and very ill lady at the top of the chain. This too is stressing me out.

I'm worried about my mum who is being very brave - but she's lost her best friend and she's not much over 60.

I have 2 young children (1 & 3) who I adore but they are boisterous little things who I tend to shout at when I'm stressed. This makes me feel bad too.

My hair has started to break off and I'm looking tired and older.

I also get sharp (very short) shooting pains in my chest when I'm very uptight and my mum was worried as my Dad was diagnosed with a weak heart but that too was deemed under control. This eventually broke him.

I told her it was probably indigestion - but she wants me to see a Dr.

I was sorting through some of my Dad's things the other day and my mum told me my lips 'looked a bit blue' ... so she's even more worried about me now, which in turn makes me worry about her!

It's just a vicious circle in my head.

I'm also forgetting thing. I had a cold last week and couldn't remember if I'd taken paracetamol or not! So I had to wait 4 hours to take more just in case!

A more laughable moment was going to the supermarket with one earing in. Why I forgot to put the other in I'll never know!

I also have a job (part-time) that involves me engaging with clients and writing documents using explanatory words - I find myself stuttering and going blank on the most simplistic of words!

Is my brain just crashing from overload?

Or should I be seriously worried?

And what can the Dr really do apart from tell me to relax, take on less, and it'll get better?

Will it?

My word - I'm sorry this post is so long ... I was planning to write a condensed snap-shot of my situation.

If you've read this far - then thank you.

Anyone around to offer any advice?

Please seek help. any GP worth their salt will realise that you may be having a 'good day' when you see them . They may direct you towards other types of help and not necessarily drugs. It may help to make a few notes before you see them to make sure that you don't forget half of what you want to say when you are in there (easy when in a fluster!)
You have a lot on your plate at the moment and it's important to look after yourself, I'm sure you would advise your mum or take your children to see the Dr if they had these symptoms- please prioritise your own health in the same way. X

Go, go, go. Show the Dr this post. Anxiety can be helped. And perhaps that's all it is but the effect on you is extreme. And if they offer anti depressants don't dismiss them out of hand. They might be helpful.

You have a massive ammont on your plate and you are a hero to have coped so far. Now its time to get help.

I recommend yoga. It got me through the worst time in my life.

Good luck op.

You should absolutely go. Anxiety is awful but often very treatable. If you are worried you would laugh it off on a good day then on a bad day write down how you feel and then read that to the gp.

P.s. I am now going to be checking on this thread every few hours and I want to know that you are making that appointment.

Is there also someone in RL you can talk to?

Definitely worth going to the GP. Hiding behind a smile is exhausting and gets harder and harder until there's no energy for smiles left. Don't let it get that far

Do go to see your gp good or bad day just be honest with them. They should refer you to a counsellor. Have you tried meditation? There are groups you can attend or videos online. Might help you to stay calm when the panic sets in.

Definitely go to your GP.

My husband has suffered from severe anxiety for many years (though he's under a good psych now and is mostly well). It's a vicious circle because the physical manifestations of anxiety tend to make you more anxious, which makes the symptoms worse, which adds to the anxiety ... Many people need help to break that circle, and behavioural therapies are often very effective. Good luck.

Please do go, and write down a few things beforehand to help, the symptoms you are having etc. Please take care of yourself. Anxiety is a bitch of a thing, but your doctor will help.

Darling you have been through the wars. Go and let the GP hold your hand for a bit and get some comfort and possible some anti anxiety medication to smooth over the edges for a little while so as you can heal xx

My anxiety flared up worst during pregnancy and postnatal so I didn't want drugs.
I was pointed towards CBT, hypnotherapy and yoga, all of which helped. I also had some very helpful sessions with a mh nurse.
So YY go to the dr. There are loads of non medicated routes - but as PP have said medication can be helpful sometimes if therapies don't work.

Please go to the Drs anxiety is a genuine illness and with any illness you csn have good and bad days when I went i just told them my symptoms i got a tick sheet to do i filled it inlike i had a bad day just go

Op for some reason I can imagine you reading these replies in tears thinking somebody has heard me.

You need to put yourself first. You do not need to fight this battle on your own and in secret.

Read and digest what us wise mumsnetters are saying.

I have two similar age children and am moving house soon so feel your pain! I've suffered with both anxiety and depression and you can feel better. I know exactly what you mean about good days and bad days - it kept me from getting help for too long. Going to the GP is the first step. Just tell them what you told us. When I went with very similar symptoms I was taken very seriously. I would also suggest a word with your HV - I know HVs are hit and miss and get a lot of flack on MN but good ones are very good.

Can you print some your post off and takeit tothe Gp

Op I also have two boisterous boys and they get snapped at all the time. Doesn't mean I wouldn't go to the end of the earth for them

I went through some huge changes in my life - moved out of my parents home into a rented place with DH (was then DP), bought a place with DH, graduated from my post grad, got a ne2w job which involved a horrendous commute and I started to suffer from awful panic attacks and it became where I HAD to call my Mum at every lunch, panic and have her calm me.

She encouraged me to see my GP. I burst into tears. Took up about an hour of his time and was given some gtreat advice. Depression and anxiety is NOT a failure. Your brain acts like relay runners, firing signals. A "normal" persons just passes the baton no trouble. A person with anxiety or depression, the runner go a bit haywire and the signals dont get passed on. If you are given medication to help you, the medication acts like a runner who runs along side your natural signals and helps them pass and not drop the baton.

Good luck. I hope you get whatever help you need

^ very wise and accessible way of putting it.

Hi OP I hope you feel better soon, but in the meantime please talk to your GP, HV, even call the Samaritans to talk to someone to get things off your chest.
I rang Sams and then my HV as in the last week I had several bad days. I think I am suffering with anxiety. I explained I have good days, and feel a phoney on my good days! She has helped me and we have agreed a plan of actions to make sure I don't get worse, or if I do she is there to help me.

Hi OP, definitely go and talk to the GP. I'm in the process of doing this for what I THINK is anxiety but I wasn't sure if it was something physical. I have these 'episodes' where my blood pressure leaps up, I feel like the room is getting darker and it's a horrible edgy feeling that can sometimes last all day. I don't know where it comes from. The GP has run lots of blood tests, urine tests and an ECG to rule out physical causes. So far all clear, which means it probably is anxiety. I do feel awful for wasting their time but it's very real to me. This has been reassuring as the first time it happened I thought I was having a stroke!

You're under a great deal of pressure with two children at a highly demanding age. I think a visit to the GP would really help you. The GP might even refer you for some talking therapy.

Good luck and I hope you find a way to feel in control soon.

I'm sorry to hear you feel rubbish

I'm a long-term sufferer of anxiety and depression, so I know exactly what it's like - absolutely shit!

Please go and see your GP - even if you're having a good day, describe what it's like when you're not (showing them your OP is a good idea) and make sure you tell them about the physical symptoms so they can rule out anything non-MH related.

For me, I've found that a combination of medication (antidepressants can also treat anxiety) plus CBT and mindfulness and keeping physically fit all help. Maybe ask for a referral to your Primary Care Mental Health Team to get access to talking treatments.

There is a great series of books called 'Overcoming...' Eg 'Overcoming Anxiety' 'Overcoming Worry' and so on.

Just remember that you are ill, you are NOT being weak or pathetic, and you can get better. It's tough to look after yourself when you've got little ones, but it is so important for all of you to make sure you take time to look after yourself xxx

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I wish I had the time to reply to you all (but I have two monkeys demanding my attention!) ... as yes, it does feel like someone is listening to me and you have reduced me to tears! Happy tears which is odd but relieving in a way

I've booked an appointment with the Dr who looked after my Dad - at least he'll know his history and I won't have to go through it all afresh.

I do have another admission that I guess he'll tell me to stop ... I do have a glass of wine most nights (a few more at the weekend). Not to get drunk, but to 'take the edge off'. It seems to make me worry less - which I know isn't the answer, but it works for a little while after a long and often hectic day.

and ... I'll ask him to help me stop my not-so-many-but-enough smoking habit.

I know it's awful, but those few minutes outside on my own are what I need at the moment.

Maybe I should just take a glass of orange and a bag of crisps into the garden instead.

Like I say it's a good day today so I'm ok, but thank you all for making me see I am worth a Dr's visit and hopefully the bad days will reduce as time goes by.

Glad to hear the appointment is made.

Do not beat yourself up for some wine and smoking. I am in the same boat as you there. Juice and crisps would just not cut it.

If you want to cut down / quit then you can and will. You sound like a very strong person to me. But in the meantime cut yourself some slack!!

Exercise and yoga are good substitutes when you are ready.

Good luck with the appointment op. I will be checking back and thinking of you.

One glass of wine is no reason to beat yourself up.

I've been seeing a counsellor for anxiety and it's been fantastic. Not needing meds. Getting to the root of where the anxiety comes from and guess what it's nothing to do with the things i thought! It's giving me methods to deal with it too. Good luck.

Keep a little log between now and youe appointmewnt, or try and summarise how you've felt every day for the last 2 weeks. Show it to the doctor. It doesn't have to be constant to be a real problem.