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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School asked me for 20p

195 replies

MoanCraft · 11/05/2015 22:06

Ds is going on a field trip. I'm always really busy (aren't we all), partly because I help out with lots of community things and one is the school committee.
I spend a lot of money when funds don't come through to cover for stuff that's asked for or needed by teachers etc., it goes without saying that I have given a lot of my time at events.
School asks for money to pay for school trip. I mistakenly underpay by 20p.
I get a call from the school asking me to bring in the 20p.
AIBU to be a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Bunnyjo · 11/05/2015 23:22

Meh, YABU. You owe the money and they were making sure you knew. Cannot see why you'd be at all miffed, to be honest.

I got a letter home from DD's school to say I had monies outstanding on Friday. It's £82 for her residential that isn't due until 15/5! Maybe I ought to be offended at the suggestion I owed money, when it isn't even due yet! However, I wasn't miffed; I was secretly grateful the admin staff reminded me and took no offence at all!

JohnCusacksWife · 11/05/2015 23:23

Leaving aside the 20p I'm pretty stunned that the OP is being allowed to transport pupils to the school trip in her own car with no insurance checks, licence checks, disclosure checks. That can't possibly be true.....

Dublinlass · 11/05/2015 23:28

Bunnyjo 20p is hellva lot different than 82 pound.... Oh I give upAngry

Eigg · 11/05/2015 23:30

Well Moan it's all about perception as I don't honestly feel that you've had an overly harsh time on this thread.

Your OP didn't come across particularly sympathetically hence the responses.

I'm sorry that you feel a bit battered and bruised. I think most people couldn't really see why you were annoyed.

As for how the school contacted you? Many parents, myself included, are rarely in the playground and therefore wouldn't be available for the teacher to speak to about it. Plus that would require admin to discuss it with the teacher and then the teacher to discuss it with you. Far more efficient to get a phone call surely?

In our school we'd get an email rather than a call and I'd think that was perfectly reasonable.

Goodnight.

Momagain1 · 11/05/2015 23:38

How would they waive it? Presumably they have to send a check to the site, they cant just pretend like it has been deposited. If they are paying in cash, there isnt a little slush fund in the school secretary's desk for covering this sort of thing. It might have been nice if the headteacher put their hand in their pocket for you, but you arent the only helpful parent, so that's a non-starter. Where would it end?

YABU to expect the school or any employee to cover your mistake despite your paying for things you don't have any obligation to.

timelyreminder · 11/05/2015 23:41

YABU. Yes you volunteer, but most teachers and other school staff also give a lot of their own time and resources that aren't officially part of their working hours/conditions.

Icimoi · 12/05/2015 00:14

So who should pay if you don't, OP?

Bunnyjo · 12/05/2015 00:20

Bunnyjo 20p is hellva lot different than 82 pound.... Oh I give up

Leaving aside the fact that I didn't actually owe the school money at that point, the principle is the same. The OP owed the school that money and it was overdue. You cannot use the excuse/reason you do a lot for school and expect to have any sort of preferential treatment because of it! I have done many things for my DCs school - volunteering, baking, parent reading, PTA, you get the gist - but, at the end of the day, I am still just a parent. If the school have budgeted that x trip will cost y and they have z in the funds to cover it, but it isn't enough - well the excess will have to be covered by the parents, or the trip may not go ahead.

The monetary value is incidental. What if every parent in a 90 intake sent their child in with the wrong amount? What then?!

MagicMojito · 12/05/2015 01:13

Yanbu. I think its really quite petty of the school. I get what you mean BTW. Its not that you expect not to pay the same as everyone else, its just that considering the amount you do do for the school someone could've just stuck 20p in or even just asked you at pickup for it rather than doing it over the phone as if chasing some unpaid debt!

MagicMojito · 12/05/2015 01:15

And sorry but I do think that the fact its only 20p makes a difference. Its petty.

mintpoppet · 12/05/2015 06:14

They have to answer to their bursar and auditors the same as any other 'business'.

HagOtheNorth · 12/05/2015 06:20

'I spend a lot of money when funds don't come through to cover for stuff that's asked for or needed by teachers etc., it goes without saying that I have given a lot of my time at events.'

In class, I have rules.
They are the same rules and applied fairly, even if you are the adorable child who is usually a model of virtue and always wants to help. I appreciate how lovely they are, but it doesn't make them above the rules for everyone.
If people haven't paid in full. they get a reminder. That's standard practice.

DamnBamboo · 12/05/2015 06:45

I paid 2.20 for my son's school dinner which only cost 2.15. They put the 5p credit on his account! I am now 5p in credit :-)

Of course you should pay and you sound pathethic for moaning about it.

Your volunteer work has nothing to do with the school's finances! At all. And if you can't volunteer with a good heart or without martyring yourself, then don't bother.

Incidentally OP, at what point would you have felt it was reasonable to ask you for the money? 50p. £1?

DamnBamboo · 12/05/2015 06:46

And sorry but I do think that the fact its only 20p makes a difference. Its petty

But where should the money come from? Should the secretary pay? Should they take it from PTA funds (not possible usually without speaking with the treasurer).

Who should pay if not the OP?

Jollyphonics · 12/05/2015 06:50

OP I see where you're coming from, and if I was the school secretary I'd probably want to just put the 20p in myself rather than go to the trouble of phoning you.

However, it's probably something that happens a lot, and I imagine chasing up bits of money here and there is a frequent task.

If it were ever to come out that some people got let off and some people didn't, imagine the (quite reasonable) outcry.

So I expect it's a flat rule - chase all debts regardless of who owes them and how much it is, then there's no confusion.

Don't take it personally.

DamnBamboo · 12/05/2015 06:53

OP you say they could have done it so differently and less officious.

What's less officious than a quick call?

An email? A letter? They shouldn't be using children to pass on messages so that's not on all! Do you want them to use the school texting service? Come and look for you on the playground? What exactly would make you happy?

DamnBamboo · 12/05/2015 06:55

I was the school secretary I'd probably want to just put the 20p in myself rather than go to the trouble of phoning you

I bet you wouldn't! The OP won't be the only one who underpays so why would you pay the smaller debts (for someone who has clearly made an error) rather than the larger ones for someone who may be having trouble paying.

pearpotter · 12/05/2015 06:58

It has happened to me and I was helping a lot at school at the time and have raised thousands of pounds for school - but I didn't mind a phone call. As long as they weren't asking me to make a special trip to pay the 20p, but just to drop it in when I am next there.

NRomanoff · 12/05/2015 07:02

I am unsure why your miffed.

You don't expect preferential treatment, it was mistake and you are happy to pay it.

You doing a lot for the school doesn't come into it as you don't expect preferential treatment.

lougle · 12/05/2015 07:03

YABU. It's separate. I don't expect perks because I'm a governor at the school.

NurseRoscoe · 12/05/2015 07:06

I wouldn't be miffed. I would think it was petty and would probably laugh but it wouldn't annoy me. I have 20ps floating around at the bottom of my bag and coat pockets, I would need to be going to the school to drop off/collect my child anyway so would just hand it in. No hardship.

StickEm · 12/05/2015 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Singsongsung · 12/05/2015 07:07

I think people are forgetting here that schools are not allowed to directly ask for payment for events that happen during school time. They can only ever ask for a voluntary contribution and suggest an amount. Therefore if a parent sent in NO money (just a reply slip) then legally the school would have to cover that cost though the school's own budget. Ringing up asking for the additional 20p is, technically, not allowed as the OP was paying a voluntary contribution. She may have chosen to underpay by 20p!!

The question is whether you can be bothered to have that argument for the sake of 20p!!

NRomanoff · 12/05/2015 07:08

I was the school secretary I'd probably want to just put the 20p in myself rather than go to the trouble of phoning you

You wouldn't at our school, you would end up paying to go to work. Many, many parents under pay or don't pay at all.

School discos have become a nightmare. Parents not paying but still sending their kids as they think one extra won't make a difference. Last year there were about 60 kids turn up that hadn't paid. Obviously some parents don't get that the money to pay for it needs to come from somewhere.

Optimist1 · 12/05/2015 07:17

If I was the school secretary I'd probably want to just put the 20p in myself rather than go to the trouble of phoning you

But if there had been an over payment of 20p would the school secretary feel comfortable to put that in her purse? No, of course not! She'd be a fool to get involved in monetary adjustments, no matter how small.