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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's 'being told off?'

33 replies

Luxme · 10/05/2015 15:20

I was at a party today sitting on the grass with my 5 month old sat in between my legs. A 6 year old came crashing on top of us both, she landed on my LO and another baby who toppled over. Hence much screaming from both babies! I said 'be careful around the babies please' as I lifted her off my LO (I didn't shout) 5 minutes later the child's mother is screaming at me in front of all the kids, swearing and accusing me of telling her daughter off whose only 6 and didn't do it on purpose. The mother was inside the restaurant and wouldn't have seen this.

AIBU, is being told to be careful being told off? (In my day it wasn't) and if it is, was I being unreasonable given her mum wasn't anywhere near her, my LO and the other babies could have been hurt and was out of sight?

OP posts:
Stanky · 10/05/2015 15:23

You didn't do anything wrong. The other mother over reacted.

abigamarone · 10/05/2015 15:24

That the mother didn't see any of what happened and still had a go at you says it all really.

DartmoorDoughnut · 10/05/2015 15:26

She doesn't know what happened, hasn't been told the full story by her 6 year old and frankly needs to shut up! Glad you and the babies are ok Flowers

Lovewearingjeans · 10/05/2015 15:26

YANBU. How would the other mother have felt if one of the babies was seriously injured? Children need to be aware of other people and their surroundings. There was probably a bit of guilt on her part, for not keeping an eye on her child.

Tizwailor · 10/05/2015 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 15:28

I think I made a mistake in saying to her that I didn't want to cause a scene as she just got louder!

OP posts:
Tizwailor · 10/05/2015 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 15:35

I agree, she should have been watching her. She was a good 100 yards away and inside!

OP posts:
ThingummyJigg · 10/05/2015 15:40

6 year old has lied in order not to get in trouble with her mum (who sounds like someone not to cross, especially if you're 6 Sad )

CamelHump · 10/05/2015 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SevenAteNine · 10/05/2015 15:43

YANBU, and TBH she probably feels a bit defensive for not keeping an eye on her daughter. It's a sad world where adults are frightened to talk to children.

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 15:57

She called me a 'stuck up bitch' and stormed off when I commented she didn't see it.

OP posts:
SevenAteNine · 10/05/2015 16:00

Meh. The best place to be is away from people like that. Smile

Sorry you got shouted at.

WorraLiberty · 10/05/2015 16:00

Sounds like her DD told her a pack of lies and she believed them.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/05/2015 16:24

I don't think the 6yo lied, deliberately - in her eyes she was 'told off' because she was embarrassed by having fallen on the babies and knows she did something wrong.

The mother though, should have got her facts straight about what had actually happened, before wading in and yelling at you (classy behaviour in front of lots of kids). If the truth be known she is also aware of her own failing and just trying to deflect the guilt/blame/embarrassment that she feels onto you.

She knows damn well she ought to have been supervising her kid.

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 17:53

I think it's so sad she felt she should behave like this in front of children.

OP posts:
amybear2 · 10/05/2015 18:43

So did the 6 yo fall/trip? I think I would be a bit pissed if I had fallen over and some one showed zero concern for me and just told me to be careful of their babies.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/05/2015 18:46

I think I would be a bit pissed if I had fallen over and some one showed zero concern for me

OP did not show zero concern, she helped the child up & was very restrained and kind in the circs.

what about the childs own mother, who ws not even within sight of her child? how concerned was she for her DDs wellbeing?

Yarp · 10/05/2015 18:51

This sort of thing has happened to me.

She's an arse.

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 19:16

Thanks Amybear, but if you read my post, I did pick her up. In addition, I think a majority of people would tend to their smallish, screaming baby when the 6 year old was visibly, physically fine.

TBH she bolted straight away after muttering 'sorry'.

OP posts:
amybear2 · 10/05/2015 20:42

You said you pulled her off your babies and told her to be more careful?

amybear2 · 10/05/2015 20:43

Just read you were ata party? was it a private party at somebody's house?

Original poster
Luxme · 10/05/2015 20:58

No, AmyBear2, I 'lifted', I didn't pull. "as I lifted her off my LO".

It was a private party in a pub. Not sure how thats relevant though to whether I was being unreasonable in telling a little girl to be more careful or her mum to get shout at me?

OP posts:
bruffin · 10/05/2015 21:02

Some parents are ridiculous
yesterday ds 19 was lifeguarding at the leisure centre. When he came on poolside the previous lg said keep an eye on a girl who was in the deep end with a woggle she appeared to be a weak swimmer. Ds told the girl of about 8 who was in with brother to not pass the red line. A few minutes later a fully dressed woman came and had a go at him. She said he shouldnt have talked to her dd, she should have come and found her and talked to her first Shock

Not sure how he thought ds should have come searching for her when he is responsible for a pool full of people.

Passmethecrisps · 10/05/2015 21:02

It surely doesn't matter where it happened.

The mum responded terribly. If she had a concern with what had been said to her dd she should have asked you what happened and what was said. Shouting and swearing cannot be excused

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