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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS thinks I ABU about St George's Day.....whose side are you on?

30 replies

Hakluyt · 10/05/2015 10:48

Scout St George's Day Parade today (owing to bizarre double booking incident with the Church) I am making DS go because you can't only do the bits you like, he's got a lot out of Scouts over the years, he's one of the oldest and its up to him to set an example. And it's the last one he'll ever have to do. His argument - he has already done 9, and he doesn't want to walk through town in a funny hat and probably get his picture in the paper (it's a very quiet town) wearing a funny hat. And he has homework to do. (This last is the single most unconvincing excuse I have ever heard. Bar none. So I am discounting it) WWMnD?

OP posts:
goinggetstough · 10/05/2015 10:55

Definitely with you OP, for all the reasons listed. Homework excuse would only come into play if since realising that the Parade wasn't on the nearest day to 23rd April he had worked tirelessly at his homework and still hadn't finished it! Guessing that he probably hasn't done this so he would be going to the parade if he was our DS!

FryOneFatManic · 10/05/2015 10:58

He should go. In our area it's classed as the single compulsory event, and it's one day per year.

Mistigri · 10/05/2015 10:59

How old is he? Does he actually want to continue in the scouts?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/05/2015 11:02

I'm with your son, ST George's day was over a month ago. I would always do things for my Saints day, but no one in their right mind would dress up like that a month later, you'd look like a prat. If he was refusing the actual day, not ok. But it's May ffs, sounds like a total waste of time. I'd rather 'homework' as well!

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/05/2015 11:04

That should be 'last month', not 'a month ago', but still stand by what I said.

Stopandlook · 10/05/2015 11:06

I'm not sure what I'd do in practice, but I can see your DS point of view...

TTTatty · 10/05/2015 11:07

Our one is today too due to a double booking at the church.... Either a very weird coincidence or you are close to me lol
Anyway I think he should go, even if he doesn't continue with scouts (is he going to Explorers?) it is good to end things properly and not just tail off. It is only a few hours out of the whole day

AlpacaPicnic · 10/05/2015 11:07

I would make him choose between going to the parade, or leaving scouts. If he's had enough of scouts as a whole then I wouldn't push attendance but if he still plans on going to the fun outings then he goes to the March today. Like you say, you can't just choose the fun stuff when you've made a commitment.

If he really refuses, then make him a desk in the most boring room you own so he can 'concentrate on his homework with no distractions at all'

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 10/05/2015 11:17

I wouldn't make him go. If they can't take saint George's day seriously enough to do it on the day then why should he? And I think forcing children to parade around infront of loads of people against their will is pretty harsh.

Original poster
Hakluyt · 10/05/2015 11:18

He will be leaving Scouts in August and not going on to Explorers. But he still enjoys the outside stuff they do in good weather. I won't give him the choice of Parade or not going back at all just in case he chooses not going back at all, and I don't think that's an acceptable way to finish something you have been involved with for 9 years.......He is going, I have insisted. But I just wondered how U I was being!

TTT- does your town begin with an F? Don't say if you don't want to.......!

OP posts:
tictactoad · 10/05/2015 11:22

I wouldn't make a 14 year old go.

Especially one who's done his bit for 9 years.

firefly78 · 10/05/2015 11:27

i dont think he should have to go. especially as he has always gone before and done his bit.

LowryFan · 10/05/2015 11:32

My DS is on the brink of leaving cubs and so this term I haven't pushed any parades. It does feel a bit sad to tail off. I wish he was more enthusiastic but he just doesn't really want to go at all: 'it's like being at school' and his heart is not in it.

However, he is not me! I can't make him want to do it. He has another hobby he loves, has promised to do Duke of Edinburgh when old enough and it's one less activity for me to taxi to/from.

So in your shoes I wouldn't make him do it. Though I would try bribery first before giving up totally.

cariadlet · 10/05/2015 11:32

I can understand both points of view.

I have always made dd go to the Remembrance service with Brownies/ Guides, because I see its importance and think that it's something she should be part of. I always walk down with her (and with Brownies used to walk with her in the parade) whatever the weather, missing my lovely Sunday morning lie-in.
So I do agree that children need to understand that belonging to an organisation like this means not just doing the fun stuff.

But I completely see why a teenager would be embarrassed at wearing a stupid hat and getting his picture in the paper. Ultimately my sympathy with his point of view wins the day, and I'd say you should let him off.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/05/2015 11:36

If you're making him go anyway, why ask? Now I feel even more sorry for him, bad enough being dressed like a pillock when there's no need, without your mum making you go at 14. Really unreasonable imo.

woollytights · 10/05/2015 11:36

I don't think you should make him go, he absolutely should have an input into the activities he does in his free time.

Floralnomad · 10/05/2015 11:40

I wouldn't make him go , I used too be beaver and cub leader - I was in for 7/8 yrs and only went to 2 St George's day parades - absolutely hated the whole parade thing .

CupidStuntSurvivor · 10/05/2015 11:47

He doesn't want to be in the paper wearing a funny hat. I wouldn't want to be in the paper wearing a funny hat either. I wouldn't force it.

RedToothBrush · 10/05/2015 11:52

I wouldn't force him. St George's is not compulsory for Scouts. Not every troop does it. If he gets a lot out of scouts then let him continue to do so. DH hates St Georges and is relieved he is now with a troop who don't do it as he feels its too religious and doesn't hold any connection or importance for a lot of the kids. If it puts them off Scouts its not worth it. He does however think Remembrance Sunday is important.

Flyinggeese21 · 10/05/2015 12:29

I wouldn't make him go. Agree with woolytights, he should have some influence and his opinion given some respect.

TTTatty · 10/05/2015 12:45

H - yes it does ;-)
Although we live in a near town starting with A, my dd goes to Explorers in F, only just gone up to Explorers but was at Scouts in F too.
Explorers is good - your son not keen though?

afterthought2 · 10/05/2015 13:32

As a Guide leader I wish more of our parents would insist on their children doing some of the not so fun stuff. There are a couple of events each year that we are expected to attend locally, but I can't force them and am not allowed to reward attendance either. It means that none of them turn up, and I have to make excuses and get looked down on for having no Guides there. I fear there will be implications in the future as well as we are seen as not supporting the people who provide us with our meeting place.

EduCated · 10/05/2015 13:41

What is the hat?

It's a tricky one, and I can see both sides. St George's Day is a big Scout 'thing', and one day of something you don't enjoy so much for the rest of the year to have things you do isn't a huge ask. Sometimes we do have to do the more serious/less fun stuff in life.

That said, it's not like he's a little-y, he has done 9 years of it and is winding down to finishing.

It also feels like it might have lost a bit of meaning by being moved. If it had been closer to the day with lots of St George's stuff still on the go, a daft hat doesn't seem quite so out of place. But wearing a daft hat when the event has lost a bit of meaning by being moved, I can see his reluctance.

So all in all, I don't think either of you are really being U

Original poster
Hakluyt · 10/05/2015 14:11

Well- we're there and he's being reasonably grAcious about it- mustering his patrol and checking their shoes for shine!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hakluyt · 10/05/2015 14:43

The hat in question....

DS thinks I ABU about St George's Day.....whose side are you on?
OP posts:
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