to think that brown-envelope letters from the benefit/tax/DWP people

[HappySpills]

should come with a smiley/frowny/neutral face on the front, just so you know whether the thing you're about to open is likely to be a notification that you're getting some extra money (yay ), a statement of taxable income for the year (okay fine), or a sudden demand that you fill in a seventy page form about all your shortcomings, or that you're losing £35 a week, or something similarly unpleasant ()? I don't think I can cope with another Schrödinger's envelope on my doormat this week.

YANBU!

I don't really fancy the thought of my postman having a nose at my envelopes

Schrödinger's envelope

Brilliant idea. I got an HMRC one last week and thought: 'Oh fuck, what's this?'

But it was just a notice telling me that I could fill in my tax return at my leisure now or leave it until the clock is ticking on January 31 2016.

Guess what I'll do?

Is there a name for the fear of brown envelopes. If not one needs to be invented.

Agreed.

I have severe anxiety relating to post. (Years post divorce dealing with XHs numerous debts.)

I have decided that if I ever do run the country I will ban scary letters. They'll be delivered in pink envelopes and contain nothing rude, anxiety inducing or unpleasantly worded.

Yanbu. But thats on the assumption the letters arrive.

My local council have being taking £40 a month from HB for an overpayment they never told me about.

Envelopaphobia ?

King, would consider bringing back singing telegrams?

If so, I'd totally vote for you

The "general increase in benefits" letter fools me every time - it's just thick enough to feel like an "actually, we've decided you don't need food any more" letter At least the statement of taxable income one is pretty unmistakeably skinny.

Is there a name for the fear of brown envelopes. If not one needs to be invented

Envelope racism.

I reckon the DWP should send their non award letters in white envelopes as I know from a few forums that people have a heart attack when a brown one drops only for it to be a sorry we are taking so long.

Yes. Pink telegrams. Delivered by a particularly fluffy owl.

The brown envelopes already make me chuckle, while also trembling in fear. Unmarked brown envelopes so nobody knows where they've come from. Except they've gone so overboard on the nondesciptness of them that they're like a flashing beacon informing all and sundry that it's official government gumph.

Envelopes delivered by MP's by hands. I'd keep them busy.

Envelope racism

Is there a name for the fear of brown envelopes. If not one needs to be invented

Papyrusbrunospoundlessphobia

Yanbu

Yanbu. They terrify me. The CSA use them too and news from them is usually awful as well.

This is a fantastic idea. I'm always shook up by the weekly 'You have informed us about a change in your circumstances', I haven't informed them of anything And if I had is this not a waste of a letter?

When I got one from ATOS, it was in a white envelope, most disconcerting.

No your not being unreasonable, we have a business so gets loads and every time I see one on the front door mat my heart drops.

Does nobody else have letters from Housing/ Council tax benefit that come in white envelopes with those green stripy edges? I'm sick of holding myself up against the door frame with wobbly knees, only to open the damn thing and find a 30- page missive telling me that precisely nothing has changed this time.

Stubborn My council tax stuff comes in those ones.

Or, you could earn your own money, so you aren't at the mercy of an envelope?

Just a thought.