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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have been completely unaware of engagement gifts for fiancées?

31 replies

MummyIsMyFavouriteName · 09/05/2015 07:43

My DP recently asked me to marry him. It's been joked about before but it wasn't a premeditated thing, he decided, asked my dad, bought the ring and got down on one knee. When we started telling people, some people asked if I had thought about an engagement present for him... Is that a thing? Am I meant to buy him a present now? Did anyone else buy their partners a present and if so, what?? I have no ideas.

OP posts:

Withalittlesparkle · 09/05/2015 07:45

What?! Really? The only reason DH got presents was because he proposed on Christmas Day!!!

Congratulations

WishUponAStar88 · 09/05/2015 07:47

Never heard of that, my dh certainly never got anything! Congratulations :)

ApocalypseThen · 09/05/2015 07:47

I wasn't aware of it. My husband was chumped if it's a thing. I might not mention it to him just in case he's never heard of it either.

Withalittlesparkle · 09/05/2015 07:48

I should add we also didn't do wedding gifts to each other, don't buy each other anniversary presents nor did I receive a push present... We're boring and stick to tradditional days like Christmas and birthdays

honeysucklejasmine · 09/05/2015 07:49

What? Surely, you're present is a ring, and his is getting to marry you?

But seriously ... That's not a thing, is it?!

TapDancingMollusc · 09/05/2015 07:49

Congratulations!

(You are the fiancée - he's the fiancé)

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/05/2015 07:49

Never heard of it either. I paid for the engagement and wedding rings anyway

honeysucklejasmine · 09/05/2015 07:49

*your

NRomanoff · 09/05/2015 07:52

I know women who have. But I think that's more of a case they wanted to get their dp something as a keepsake of the occasion They certainly didn't feel they had to and I don't think its a common thing.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2015 07:53

I guess equality works both ways - he gave you a ring.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2015 07:54

And congratulations :)

Summer29 · 09/05/2015 07:54

I saved up (for ages!!!!) and bought my husband a really nice watch as his own type of engagement gift. I wanted him to have something as special as my engagement ring :-)

slanleat · 09/05/2015 08:02

Never heard of it as 'a thing', but I can see it being something nice to do for him. I would go with a watch too.

CSIJanner · 09/05/2015 08:13

I have seen FB posts where the groom to be was given a watch. In Germay, my friend wore a ring on his other ring finger before transferring it over on the wedding day. Horses and courses eh. You don't have to give anything though. What does he think?

Personally, we bought something together for us both when we got engaged. Any excuse! But it wasn't expensive and it was something to share. If you really want to get him something, how about an experience instead? A bungee jump as he's about to take the plunge ??

Mrsbobdylan · 09/05/2015 08:24

It's not something I've heard of and I find it depressing. Every part of getting married these days seems like an opportunity to buy something.

Congratulations on getting engaged!

BlinkAndMiss · 09/05/2015 08:27

Never heard of this! DH proposed, we went ring shopping and bought rings for both of us from our joint account. Then we bought the matching wedding rings and got married about 6 weeks later, I don't think there was time for anyone to think about extra presents.

I'm not sure it's even a thing really, he proposed and his 'gain' is that you accepted and that you want to spend your life with him. That's how it goes isn't it? A present makes it seem a bit like he needs a reward for asking although it might be a nice sentiment to get him something if he doesn't wear rings or can't because of work etc.

LaLaLaaaa · 09/05/2015 08:28

Congratulations! Nope I never bought my dh a present and I've never heard of this.

He used my grans ring and I bought the wedding rings so if anything I'm the one who might expect a present

19lottie82 · 09/05/2015 08:28

I've heard of it (think a popular gift is a watch) but I don't think its a common practise.

Original poster

MummyIsMyFavouriteName · 09/05/2015 08:54

Good to see I'm not the only one who has never heard of this. I thought about a watch but he already has a really nice one that his parents got him. Although, it is true that I am the best gift he will ever receive (after DD of course).

Thank you all for the help and congratulations. (I thought it was fiancé but spell check changed it for me :P)

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/05/2015 09:08

Congratulations!

No I didn't get DH a gift when we got engaged, and we didn't go mad with my engagement ring. But that was 20+ years' ago so I don't know what the current thinking is.

GooodMythicalMorning · 09/05/2015 09:11

No. I didnt 8 years ago. But we did both have engagement rings so maybe its different, but I dont think its the normal thing to buy him anything as a present.

GooodMythicalMorning · 09/05/2015 09:12

They weren't expensive rings though. Dh's came from Argos.

londonrach · 09/05/2015 09:13

Congratulations and no not heard of it before. Is it a new thing?

yorkshapudding · 09/05/2015 09:15

I didn't get him an engagement present (had no idea this was a thing) but I did get him a nice watch and gave it to his Best Man to give to him on the morning of our wedding.

AuntyMag10 · 09/05/2015 09:15

Congrats I didn't buy dh anything either. He got a 'yes' so that's his gift

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