Not politics related! AIBU to think this mother having her daughter's baby, is a bit, well odd.

[Number3cometome]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32652095

Don't get me wrong, I feel incredibly sad for them, but if the daughter hasn't specified what she wanted doing with her eggs after her death, then this shouldn't be allowed?

How is it passing judgement to say that this is an odd thing to want to do. It is odd!

odd
äd/
adjective
adjective: odd; comparative adjective: odder; superlative adjective: oddest

1.
different from what is usual or expected; strange.

This situation is very different from what is usual or expected, mothers dont generally seek to give birth to the child of their deceased child. I see no judgement there.

Synonyms: weird, freakish, abnormal, queer...

Sometimes there are just better ways of putting things, even when you disagree with someone there's nothing wrong with a bit of compassion.

Synonyms: weird, freakish, abnormal, queer...

All words that the OP didnt use!

But hey dont let that stop you when you are determined to judge her and the rest of us as judgmental.....oh the irony!

Yes because suggesting people show some compassion to grieving parents and perhaps are not in full possession of the facts is terribly judgemental

I said odd and I meant odd! I do find
it odd, as in abnormal!

Have you looked up the word synonym in a dictionary recently bogey ?

You must have missed my compassionate part where I said how sad it is for the family.

theend
So basically your argument is that I am being unreasonable because I used the word 'odd'?

What's the word where someone argues something just for argument's sake? It's on the tip of my tongue... but I'm drawing a blank.

theend - I have a genuine question for you. Say for example the daughter did give clear, provable consent do you think it is appropriate for a 59 year old woman to have a child?

I think it's odd and I don't think it should be allowed.
She is too old to carry this baby - she would be at least 60.
If it was something her daughter felt strongly about, then I'm quite sure there would have been more than just one private conversation.
This mum must be heartbroken, she has lost her daughter and her chance of grandchildren, but that isn't a good enough reason for this to happen.

Unsolved - I agree. My heart breaks for this woman and her husband but trying to use modern technology to cheat nature and have a child at 59 is ultimately a very selfish act. According to the Guardian, British fertility clinics refused to help her anyway as they don't treat women over 50.

theend

This went to court! Do you not understand that in every single court case is a family who are personally connected to the case? Yet the rest of us live and die by the results of that case! It matters what happens here. Bad facts make bad law as they say.

In fact, when a victim is grieving and sympathetic, we should be more concerned because that is when the court may err and end up stripping women of the right to consent over their own bodies and the products of their own bodies.

"Yes because suggesting people show some compassion to grieving parents and perhaps are not in full possession of the facts is terribly judgemental "

What facts are we not in possession of?

Numbers your op said aibu to think this is odd, and yes in answer to that question i do think you are being unreasonable. Talking about a specific example is quite different to talking about a general concept to my mind, and I thought you're op was worded badly.
I don't think its fair to insinuate that the parents are trying to do this without having discussed it with their daughter before hand as we have no way of knowing what passed between the family or why the form wasn't filled in. My only point is that we don't know what the daughter wanted or what conversations took place etc. Obviously the fact that the form wasn't completed means the eggs can't be used, it would be illegal, but it doesn't negate that those were the daughters wishes and the parents are only trying to fulfil her wishes. Like I said, talking about a specific case just seems too personal to me especially when it must be such a hard position to be in for the people involved. It seems unfair to guess at what the parents motives are.

rain personally I wouldn't want to carry a child at 59, however I might feel differently in those circs I don't know. I definitely wouldn't want to have to make that decision for anyone else though.

apple I think the appeals going through court now and there hasn't been a decision yet?

Obviously the fact that the form wasn't completed means the eggs can't be used, it would be illegal, but it doesn't negate that those may have been were the daughters wishes and the parents are only trying to fulfil her wishes.

the end

Obviously the fact that the form wasn't completed means the eggs can't be used, it would be illegal, but it doesn't negate that those were the daughters wishes and the parents are only trying to fulfil her wishes.

Why do you keep saying this when it's untrue?

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DAUGHTER'S WISHES WERE. WE DON'T KNOW BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WRITE THEM DOWN. ALL WE HAVE IS HEARSAY. I'LL REPEAT IT UNTIL I'M BLUE IN THE FACE.WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DAUGHTER'S WISHES WERE.

If you want us to be sensitive of the parents' situation, fine. But please stop stating things that are untrue based on the legal record. We don't know what the daughter's wishes were. Why are you so insistent on spreading this lie?

ApplePaltrow

Some common sense at last. Thank God.

Ffs my only point is that we don't know what the daughter wanted did you not bother to read that sentence?!

My other sentence means the same whether you add 'may have been' or not. You're just intent on villifying people. A few posts back you claimed you do know all the facts of what happened, make your mind up.

The only comment I would like to add to ApplePaltrow's post is that in addition to the form being incomplete, there is no evidence on who was filling the form in.

The HFEA are happy the daughter consented for her eggs to be removed and stored for future use. The point of the appeal is that there is insufficient evidence to support what she intended that future use to be.
There is nothing to suggest the doctors and parents coerced her into having that procedure or performed it with out her knowledge.

theend there is a serious flaw in your logic. By your reasoning the following could all have been things the deceased woman wanted and are not uncommon to occur and certainly no where near as exceptional as the request to take the eggs to the US to be fertilised and implanted in the deceased woman's mother:

To donate her eggs for use in fertility treatment by others.

To donate her eggs for research.

Except of course that there is nothing to suggest this, just like there is nothing beyond a reported and unwitnessed conversation to suggest that this woman wanted her mother to carry her baby.

As I said before consent is about saying what you want to happen. Where there is no consent the default position is that someone did not want something to happen.

Also, would you also mind educating yourself about what is actually happening? It really is quite annoying that you haven't bothered to do this. Here is a quick summary for you:

The HFEA have "refused to issue a "special direction" to allow the eggs to be taken out of storage and sent to the US... HFEA's statutory approvals committee (SAC) made the ruling in 2014, saying there was insufficient evidence to show that the daughter wanted her mother to carry her child.". The deceased woman's mother (Mrs M) has taken a case to the High Court arguing that the refusal is "unlawful" and interferes with the "family's human rights". The case is currently being heard at the High Court [source: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32652095]

YANBU to think it is odd, I agree.