DH going on long weekend with mates for 50th

[hambo]

My DH just asked if he could go for a long weekend with his mates in Sept or Oct this year (one of them is 50). I said it was up to him, so he said he was going to go.

He goes away with these friends about 4 times a year for weekends but not long weekends. He works for himself so hardly ever takes days off and as the school holidays are Sept/Oct I presumed we would go on a long weekend with the children.

Anyway, I told him that if he was going away then I would take the kids away the same weekend. He doesn't want this, he wants me to wait until he is around.

I feel IABU to be annoyed at him, but I feel he IBU to want me to stay in the house hanging about whilst he is having fun and we are wasting our time off!!!

I still think YANBU.

• You are limited to when you can go away as a family due to school holidays.
• DH has decided to use some of that time to go away with friends.
• You then decide that as he's away enjoying himself, you're going to take the DC's somewhere so none of you miss out.
• He then gets a sulk on because he can't go, when he chose to go away during school holidays in the first place.

If DH wants to come, he needs to rearrange his weekend with his friends so you can all go away during the holidays. If he refuses to do that, then he doesn't get to dictate what you can do during the holidays while he's off having fun without you!

Yanbu. He is.

Why have you not said to him before now 'its fine if you want to go but we never go away together because you don't take time out for it and haven't had a family holiday so if you do go I'll be making sure we get one.'

That way he knows the him only holidays are annoying you because you dont get family ones. He makes his choice and you get yours?

If you are going away so that you and the children can have a fun time and it is a good time to do it then YANBU.

If you are doing it to make a PA comment then YABU.

When my DH goes away for the weekend (2-3 times a year) I do fun stuff with the DCs - bowling,, day trip curry, film he wouldn't necessarily enjoy. I would go away if that is what I tought would be a nice use of the time/only time we could go. Unless there was no other option I would not do a film/activity/place where he would really enjoy/get something out of iyswim. Even if I was a bit pissed off at him for going. because then I couldn't protest if he went somewhere I really wanted to go when I am away for the weekend

thought

YANBU, he is. Go away with your DC, havens fun weekend.

if he feels he's missing out tell him he's more than welcome to book time off and arrange a different weekend for you all to go away together.

*have a fun weekend

Yes, we could afford three trips but it is more that he will only take the extended weekend once every so often, so Oct/Sept will be used up by this 50th trip.

We'll have to wait until December for the next one!

I think I'll go away, but not somewhere he'd like to go too much.

Thanks for all your comments!

YANBU. Happy for him to go. Happy for you to chose what you would like to do with the kids. Everyone has the choice.