To hate it when a friend goes cold on me or cuts me off for seemingly no reason?

[dovez]

I have had this happen a couple of times in the past few years and I really hate it, especially when I have been a good friend to them and have done nothing wrong IMO and it literally happens overnight. Both times I have been close friends with them, and they've been very keen to be friends and contacted me a lot, then suddenly dumped me. It has happened in the distant past a couple of times too.

First instance was a couple of years ago. I became friends with a woman and thought we clicked and got on well, and she was very keen and contacted me a lot. We spent a lot of time together. Then suddenly overnight she just stopped talking to me! Literally! She deleted me from FB and walked past me in the street and didn't reply to any texts or calls. I asked her in person if I'd done anything to upset her and she said no, don't be silly, she was busy, etc. But it was obvious the friendship was over, and to this day I still don't think I actually did anything wrong. It was bizarre.

And now I think I have been dumped by another friend. We met on a forum 6 years ago, and have met up a lot of times and been close friends. A while back she stopped replying to texts so I gave up contacting her. She has now stopped replying on my facebook and if I comment on anything of hers my replies are ignored and mutual friends acknowledged, so I guess she has dumped me too.

These women are by no means my only friends, and I do have a wide circle of friends, but obviously it is still a bit hurtful and puzzling to go from being good friends to nothing, with not even a minor explanation.

Do all 'intense' friendships eventually go like this?

This has never happened to me exactly, but I have had the full on weird friend things happen and I have been the one to put a stop to it. In my experience there is a certain kind of person who see friendship as an exclusive not inclusive thing - I simply don't have the time or inclination to revolve my life one friend (usually one who MUST have a bestie type title, yawn) and when I see that is what they are like I bin them, quickly, brutally and with no regret. I would suggest that any friend who gets that full on that quickly with you OP is to be avoided.

The pizza hut thing makes me laugh fedora - I had one leechy woman that I had known and spoken to maybe a few times and had lunch with once, pleasant enough, lecture me via text message the next day on ordering M&S food for a family do I was having, that she and I could do the food, she would stay over and help and save money, no need to waste etc etc. She is not family, was not invited to my family party and had found out that was what I was doing via a receipt that was in my handbag. Apparently she was in my handbag for a tissue. LOON. She was binned!

Oh god Queen she does sound rather unhinged!

Quite! not thread worthy though cos I don't see the angst as needed, she is weirdo and so not possible friend! I reckon that either the OP is in the role of loon here and has been binned much later than she should have been or the few women she mentions are the loon and OP is not receptive enough to their need to be worshipped therefore she is out. Either way its for the best!

I'd guess that as you do have other friends and it is just these 2, it is more likely them rather than you. As they were seeking you out to be best friends they could have just found someone else and just dumped you. Which isn't nice.

On the other side of it, I had a best friend, I thought we were friends for life but she go in more with another group and became pretty snobby and said some things I didn't like and treated me in a way I didn't like on a couple of occasions. I admit, rather than have it out with her I just cut her out. I have heard she has being saying she doesnt understand what happened which shows how unaware she really is. She humiliated me and had a go at me for something that was nothing to do with me and when she discovered it wasn't I got no apology at all. Are you sure there is nothing you have done that may have upset them?

I had a friend who dumped me for texting a male friend of hers for his mates number. She went mental, got her mum to write a vile letter to my mum. Still giving out my number to random people a year after.

I havent spoke to her in over a decade, despite her trying to FB friend me. I'm not interested in her at all.

She once claim that my close friend, who I'm still friends with, was a lesbian and asked her out. As if I would care if my friend was lesbian or not.

Now I realise that he mates friend was made up by her and she didnt like it.

Tali - Do you mean that the friend of her male friend who's number you were trying to get didn't exist? Well that would have outed her lie. Crazy!

I dont know Rain The way she reacted tells me that he was made up.

I dont miss her and her controlling obsessiveness. Not to sound harsh, but she was awful. She once boasted that she had unprotected sex with 4 men in the space of a week. How she never got pregnant I dont know.