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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wee in the woods?

80 replies

minesapintofwine · 06/05/2015 22:30

Walking dog this evening. Quite a rural area and weather awful. We had passed a few people but we were now on a lesser travelled path (justifying myself) though still a chance of meeting someone.

I was 'caught short' and I was bursting! This happens a lot but I was so uncomfortable and really couldn't wait. So I weed behind a tree . I made my dog sit on the path to 'look out' and she was .

Aibu to have done this? I'm inclined to think meh when you got to go.....but am slightly concerned this may not be acceptable in modern society!

Would also be interested in hearing other wee stories. To make me feel better

Disclaimer: have not weed outside since I was about five, so this was quite a big deal for me

OP posts:

Original poster

minesapintofwine · 06/05/2015 23:09

sherbert that's what I would normally do, whilst also doing a silly wee dance. I have found out how satisfying it is to just go,especially when you're desperate (do it, do it...)

OP posts:

Sallyingforth · 06/05/2015 23:31

I always say that having a wee when you have been really desperate is the second best feeling in the world.

Pipbin · 06/05/2015 23:36

Nitrogen is good for plants. Some benefit from being weed on.

A man would do it with out so much heartache.

TowerRavenSeven · 06/05/2015 23:54

YANBU. Personally if there is any chance at all that I can wait, I do. However, I hike in the mountains where there is usually a zero percent chance I'm likely to encounter a loo within three miles. I go at the trailhead if there is a loo there (sometimes there isn't even one there, so I go as closest bathroom to the trailhead as I can) but if I'm on a 3-4 mile hike and I'm going to be out for hours - yes I go there.

Problem is that some of these trails are very busy and it takes sometimes ages waiting for everyone to go away so I can go. Last year I'm sure a couple saw me, there is no hiding where we hike! So be it. I tried my best.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/05/2015 00:01

Check your arse for ticks...

CakeUpWall · 07/05/2015 00:02

I do a nature wee every morning whilst dogwalking. It's either that or give up tea in the mornings, and that ain't happening.

I did have one unfortunate incident in the woods whereby I peed on the dog (ran v fast between my legs whilst I was mid-flow.) He didn't seem unduly bothered though.

FatAli · 07/05/2015 00:07

Paula Ratcliffe actually had a shit during the marathon, but anyway....

I have never been caught short, but I can't see anything wrong with an emergency wee al fresco.

TwartFaceBeetj · 07/05/2015 00:10

I've misjudged were a nettle was before and stung my bum

JohnCusacksWife · 07/05/2015 00:11

As my dear departed Grandma used to say "a bean is a bean, but a pee is a sweet relief"!

VivaLeBeaver · 07/05/2015 00:15

I'll tell you something to make you feel better.

I was once walking with Dh in a valley in the Peak District. Steep sided narrow valley with a popular footpath along the bottom. Fairly busy sunny day.

I was desperate for a wee. Couldn't wee anywhere near the path and the valley sides were too steep in the majority of places to scramble up. Valley was really narrow, footpath width only.

There was a little path at one point going up to some old limeworks. So I went up this little path which was a dead end. As far as I could and I was shielded from the main path by trees. Not many people come up the little path. Again due to the terrain I couldn't really get off the path.

Pulled my trousers down, had a wee.......followed rather unexpectedly by the biggest poo ive ever done in my life. Massive. I left it there and scarpered off.

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 07/05/2015 00:26

I do this all the time. Live rurally, walk lots and since having kids seem to always need a wee! The trick is skirts. If you wear a knee length or longer floaty skirt then when squatting to wee the skirt forms a shield and nothing is visible. To anyone walking past you are simply squatting down. So, I have before, when utterly desperate and along a stretch of the river heaving with walkers but miles away from toilets or anywhere I could go behind a tree etc, merely moved to the edge of the path, done the skirt as shield thing and pretended to be picking daisies with DD!! Got away with it as well. You have to do a weird knickers down shimmy but I did that bit sharpish when there was no one walking towards me and then afterwards I again waited until I had a 30 second window to leap up and pull up knickers before the next people rounded the bend. I now make sure I have been in the wooded bit a few miles back to avoid being stuck on that stretch of path again needing a wee!

lottiegarbanzo · 07/05/2015 00:31

What do you think hikers do when out on the hills all day? Maintain a constant look out for good things to duck behind out of view is what!

soontobemumofthree · 07/05/2015 00:31

I have done plenty of al fresco wees in my time. Never knowingly been seen.

Once I was at the start of a long running race (I've not done many) and it was rural and start was delayed. 10s of people were peeing very visibly into surrounding fields and bushes (not wanting to go too far from the start line) once one did everyone seemed to need to go, and I have to say I was wondering why they couldnt control their bladders.

NotaDinosaur · 07/05/2015 00:34

I'm just jealous, I've got dodgy hips so there's no way I could manage a nature wee without wearing it

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/05/2015 00:36

Haha Viva, excellent!
I had a wee while out with dcs and ddog last weekend. In a narrow Lane bordered by banks, hedges and stone walls. Had (mortified) kids on lookout while I nipped up a bank and into some bushes but had to hold on to dog as kids too busy sword fighting with sticks.

My spies notified me of approaching group of walkers but I was mid-wee, pants round ankles and bag tangled up round dog lead and bit of branch. It was like something out of a nightmare - I could hear the feet getting closer but couldn't untangle myself or get my pants up. Dog was sniffing and licking the wee delightedly and tangling us up even more. Couldn't even crawl further into bushes.

Managed to pull my coat over my knees then had to just sit there and beam, "Good morning" to the troupe of walkers as they hiked past. Couple of them waved and one said, "We've all been there, love", which I hoped didn't mean that I was using a well-known outdoor toilet .
I
Eventually disentangled self and dog and reclothed self, only to realise that I'd weed all over my stupid flappy trouser legs and dpwn my boots .

IAmACuboid · 07/05/2015 01:00

I was caught short on the climb down the cliff to a beach in Cornwall, and had to tuck myself into the hillside for a wee to hide from the beach far below and anyone coming down the footpath - DH was laughing hysterically, and actually took a photo if me mid-stream.
We were on our honeymoon...

whois · 07/05/2015 01:09

A wee onto soil and hidden from view is fine.

Thistledew · 07/05/2015 01:11

What do you do
If you cannot find a loo
In an English Country Garden?

Pull down your pants
And fertilise the ants
In an English Country Garden.

Then get a spade
And bury what you made
In an English Country Garden.

Beth2511 · 07/05/2015 01:28

Im always surprised about the number of bonking couples i seem to find in the woods

Topseyt · 07/05/2015 01:52

My Labrador once raced up and insisted on licking a half naked bonking couple when out in the fields. He was totally delighted with them and I had to go up and pull him off them.

Alfresco weeing is fine in the middle of nowhere.

Mumbehavingbadly · 07/05/2015 02:37

Ok - since we're all fessing up, I was the woodland bonker .

Even more it was in a lovely lush meadowy oasis in the woods. We'd seen no one all day as it was the middle of the week during a non holiday period and our walk had been in glorious solitude. We had stopped for a rest to soak up the sun in a little patch of high grass and open sky. One thing led to another.

Just a quickie in the missionary fashion but I opened my eyes during 'a moment' to see a male walking boot skim over the top of us. I was so shocked I temporarily froze, but turned my head slightly to see the hiker turn his head back towards us - he looked me right in the eye, gave a wry smile and strode on.

This unfroze me and I started to squeal and to scrabble and push DP off - he was so in the moment that despite his position and promise to keep an eye out he had neither spotted the guy approaching or even noticed him stepping over his back! And seeing as how the walker was now moving away at a pace with his back to us, DP happily considered that we could finish DTD!

We didn't... I was up and half crawling, half crouching pulling knickers round my knees and mortified I insisted we go back in the opposite direction, miles out of our way to avoid meeting the walker further down the path.

In our defence we were just turned 20, poor students living at our parents and permanently horny so the woodland interlude was a seized on opportunity.

As for peeing in the out of doors - my pea sized bladder is a family joke and out in the wild I drop my pants behind bushes, high nettles, dry stone walls, any slight cover will do. DP on the other hand would rather bust his bladder than go, and hangs on for so long we're almost at civilisation before he has to give in.

How times have changed. I do like to remind him that he didn't used to be so fussy about baring his whole (bonking) backside to the walking world.

Adarajames · 07/05/2015 02:50

I'm another reguar outdoor weeer! Got stupidly small bladder I'm sure, so rarely make a dog walk without needing to go, even in local, pretty urban but thankfully with wooded bits, local park. It's much harder to go discreetly though when you're a member of the local search and rescue team and are in high vis at the time!

MokunMokun · 07/05/2015 02:56

A wee is ok but if you poo you should bag it and take it home with you.

MurielWoods · 07/05/2015 02:58

I once got caught short whilst visiting some castle ruins and squatted down behind a wall so that no-one could see me.

No-one that is apart from the most gorgeous looking man ever who happened to be walking above me on the ramparts of the castle.

marcopront · 07/05/2015 03:01

You should try changing a tampon behind a rock surrounded by lots of Peruvians doing wees.

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