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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

give it to me - am I selfish to sell my grandmothers prized collection to raise money for a deposit

80 replies

notsureifimselfish · 05/05/2015 16:39

Nc. I inherited my grandmothers priced collection of plates. She loved them but since I have them they have just sat INA box and got in the way. Can't display any of them even if I wanted to as live in a cramped flat. I know she wanted me to look after them but they are fragile and could easily break as I've had to move regularly with dodgy landlords. Some of them are quite valuable.

Aibu to sell most of them to raise money for a deposit? I've fallen in love with a house that I might be able to afford if I sell them. I know it would of broken her heart but it just seems silly to have them sat in the airing cupboard doing nothing for me. I don't particularly like most of them, but would like too keep two of them ,(collection is 59,).

Give it to me honestly

Thank you

OP posts:

SirChenjin · 05/05/2015 17:17

Medals are earned though - they are very personal and represent the particular journey an individual made through a terrible time when comrades were killed and injured. I think it's very different to a collection of plates.

Andrewofgg · 05/05/2015 17:18

YANBU and good luck. Let them give you your deposit and somebody else pleasure - win, win.

Lilymaid · 05/05/2015 17:19

We are currently going through MI'Ls possessions (and still have some of DM/DF's to go through). Obviously we would keep really important family items (such as the VC in the medal thread) but we have kept just a small representative sample of everything else - including more expensive items. You don't want to make your home of the future a shrine to your parents/grandparents but it is lovely to have something to remind you of them.

Cheeseandhamtoast · 05/05/2015 17:20

YANBU. I sold an inherited piece of jewellery from my grandmother to pay for a much needed family holiday. I bought myself a smaller momento as well to remind me of her, and whenever I think of the holiday I feel grateful that she "paid' for it.

Your DM may have not needed to sell them. House prices are a lot higher than they used to be!

MrsFrisbyMouse · 05/05/2015 17:21

take photographs of them and make into an album. Keep a couple and then sell them to someone who will enjoy them! Otherwise you need to get them properly stored and insured.

LindyHemming · 05/05/2015 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PtolemysNeedle · 05/05/2015 17:22

It entirely depends on whether there's anyone else in the family that would appreciate their sentimental value. If you don't have any aunts/uncles/cousins that would appreciate the plates, then it's fine for you to sell them. But if you do, then it would be entirely wrong, despite the fact they were left to you.

I have valuable things of my late grandmothers that I could choose to sell, but if I didn't want them, then the right thing to do would be to give them to another of my grandmothers grandchildren who did want them. The reason being, that I know my grandmother would have liked me to have them, but that if I didn't want to keep them, then she'd rather one of her other grandchildren kept them than they be sold.

vintagechinalady · 05/05/2015 17:25

They're your plates and what I think is of no consequence to you but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't, which is daft considering that sourcing, hiring, buying and selling vintage and antique china is what I do.
The stupid thing is that all the while I'd be saying no I'd be hearing my darling late grandparents telling me that you can't live in a plate and there's no point in having pretty ornaments if you've no house to put them in.
I still couldn't do it! soppy mare alert

LotusLight · 05/05/2015 17:27

Obviously let family members bit to buy it first, but not wrong at all. Most parents and grandparents would rather their child put financial stability above plates. Take pictures. I got rid of some childhood stuff like jig saws recently and I took a digital photo to retain the memory as it were.

Tizwailor · 05/05/2015 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoEasyPudding · 05/05/2015 17:35

Oh yes, sell them.

I love the idea of the nice photos in an album and keeping the ones you do like. Unless of course they are the ones worth the most!

What sort of collection is it? I don't know much about ceramics and or china.

PeeNoMore · 05/05/2015 17:36

YANBU. Keep a few special ones in her memory and buy a lovely home you can display them in

Alanna1 · 05/05/2015 17:37

Sell them! Keep one (or two) or whatever.

SirChenjin · 05/05/2015 17:38

Obviously let family members bit to buy it first

Very good point

fakenamefornow · 05/05/2015 17:47

I'd sell them

I think items like this, even houses/farms in some cases can just be a burden if they have so much sentimental value attached to them that they can't be sold. I wouldn't want to leave something to any of my children that they thought they couldn't get rid of. Actually, one exception I'd make to that would be old photo albums but they're not worth anything anyway.

fakenamefornow · 05/05/2015 17:50

Just thought of a complication to this though.

Did you GM have other GC and did they receive something of equal value? If not and you sell the plates and get say....£30,000 for them, that could cause some resentment.

ModernToss · 05/05/2015 17:52

My sister and I just sold a Steinway piano that was my mother's wedding gift from her parents and which she loved. It was horribly difficult, but neither of us plays the piano and neither of us really wanted one or had room for one. Now someone else will have a piano they love.

Sell the plates and buy the house.

SusannahD · 05/05/2015 17:54

YANBU they are meant to be enjoyed, keep one or two that you like and sell the rest.

SoupDragon · 05/05/2015 17:55

I sold something my grandmother gave me. I had kept it for years and years, hidden away, and eventually decided that it was better to sell it to someone who loved it and use the money for something I would love.

Keep one or two in memory of her and sell the rest!

Stinkersmum · 05/05/2015 17:56

YANBU. Sell the plates. I'm sure your GM would be happy to know she helped you buy a home. I know mine would've been happy about it.

springalong · 05/05/2015 17:59

Very little ceramic, even 18thC is worth much. Oriental/Russian is in fashion at the moment so would be a good time to sell. Damage of any sort substantially reduces the value. Collecting is a very personal thing so I would sell what you don't want (take photos if you want) and put that money into something that you will enjoy in your lifetime like a house! I am + your granny wouldn't mind that at all. In a strange way you are taking care of these plates by passing them on to someone who wants them.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 05/05/2015 19:15

Sell them.

Then someone can enjoy them.

CycleChic · 05/05/2015 19:31

Did you inherit them from your mother, then, after she kept them for years and years? Or did she pass them on to you and she's still alive?

FryOneFatManic · 05/05/2015 19:45

If you do offer them to family first, don't let them try to push you into accepting a pittance for them, "because they're family". If they want them, they should offer at least close to market value for them.

Your family may not be like this, but certain elements of my family definitely are and I'd be surprised if they were the only ones.

hidingfromthem · 05/05/2015 19:56

i'd have sold them already.

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