to be a bit sad about the comments about how good it wasn't another boy

[PunkrockerGirl]

Mum of two (adult) boys here. Was just at some of the comments after the birth was announced about how fantastic it is that they've one of each. Am I being over sensitive?

In general I thin yanbu. I had a girl, then a boy. I got the 'aren't you lucky...one of each'. I would have been actually quite happy with 2 girls the sex of the second one didn't bother me either way.

I actually got a few people who were mad at me. A woman at work at who had 2 boys said 'you do realise the scan maybe wrong and its a girl' whilst looking at me like i was a piece of shit. My Auntie was also annoyed with me as she had 4 kids before having the girl she was desperate for., as though it was my fault. In both cases, I just said I wouldn't care. I genuinely wouldn't have cared.

In the case of the Royal Babies I think its different. Because this baby is the first girl who will be in line for the throne, in her own right. Rather than a case of 'she'll have to be queen as there is no one left'. I actually think it is important. There could be a boy born after her and she would still get the throne if george abdicated. Its a long shot she will get it, but its there. I really hoped George would be a girl for this reason only.

But the cooing over how nice it is to have one of each is shit. But, i suppose, if it had been 2 boys there would have been similar comments annoying people with 2 girls or one of each. People just say stuff to say something.

I always think this when soneone has the opposite to what they already have and everyone says "oh that's good etc"
I had 3 boys and was often made to feel inadequate or that I should be sad about it.
I wasn't.
Then I had 2 dds (second marriage) and everyone lost the plot, "oh that great, you got your girl" as if Id have commited myself to raising two more dc just because of the sex and if they'd have been boys Id have been disappointed.
We have a strange obsession with gender.

I'm pregnant at the moment with one DS - the number of people who keep assuming I want a girl! I don't normally get annoyed by things like this but it is starting to grate a little!

I have had so many people say to me this time that they want my baby to be a girl 'for me' as I have two boys already. I don't care about my baby's reproductive organs!! I am only excited to know so I can start calling them their name or at least he/she when I talk about my bump as I hate saying 'it'! A baby will have their own personality, interests etc as they get older so another thing that annoys me is when people want one of each to do the 'football training and the ballet lessons' boys and girls can like either, both or neither of these things! boy/girl like I said is nothing more than biology, I wish people would give their children a chance to develop into people before claiming 'gender disappointment' or assuming what other people want!

I wanted one of each, so I suppose it's easy to assume others would too, but not very tactful to say so.

YANBU. I am pregnant with dd2 and only ndn commented that it was a shame it wasn't a boy.

I wanted 2 girls, l never saw myself with a ds and am delighted that dd will have a sister.

While the media are making stupid comments it's really nice to read those with 2/3/4 of the same sex are happy on this thread as the most important thing is that you as the parent are delighted with your dc. Who cares what anyone else thinks!

As a mum of two older boys comments like that just make me smile because i know that two boys are actually the best!

Yabu, considering there are plenty of other cultures where girls are to be mourned not celebrated, I think it's quite nice everyone is pleased it's a girl.

As said above, she also gets to live through the new equality laws too.

So what if people think "one of each" is the ideal. There are lots of arbitrary ideals. A 'dream' wedding involves a big white dress and a sit down champagne reception. If that wasn't your wedding do you get cross every time you read how 'perfect' a wedding was or is going to be?

I'm a completely delighted Mum of two boys by the way. Didn't want a girl, but saying that probably insults mums of girls.

Absolutely over thinking. And projecting wildly!

My sister has 2 boys and all and without exception everyone said how wonderful because 2 of the same sex can be close in a way a sister and brother never can. She revelled in these comments and I could have chosen to be upset as it implies my boy and girl won't ever have the same relationship.

Ironic really, as my sister and I can't stand each other!

Cliches are trotted out whatever combination of children people have!

See my dream wedding isn't a big white dress either with everything planned down to the stitching on the seat covers like most women I know, it's basically one with as few people as possible, nothing else has really been considered (despite having been engaged for 3 years!) so I imagine I'm just wired a bit differently to the stereotype lol.

If people want one of each, their issue as they may not get that, not guaranteed unless you pay loads of money. However they shouldn't push that on to other people as it IS insulting when people assume you are disappointed with your baby because of it's bits! Especially as pregnant ladies/new mums are overly hormonal anyway.

Off topic Britains got talent last night the 3 boys and their dad singing, mum and gran watching in the audience tears in eyes, just omg heart melting.... Bottom line they are family, gender is irrelevant.

I love my boys!

YANBU. We've found out that DC2 is a second boy and I'm dreading telling people as we've already had so many comments about how we must be hoping for a girl.

I have a dd. Currently TTC no.2. We have no preference as to the sex of the next. Recently I bought a car toy for dd second hand. The mum was pregnant with a dd having had a Ds. She was boasting about having the perfect family set up with a boy then girl. I found it really odd.

JohnCusacksWife what utter bollix.And i say that as a mother to 5 boys.The person themselves are either tactile or they are not.My eldest son is the most like me,so we did everything together even going shopping.

I think your mistaking gender for kids growing up.

That thing about son's not being as close to their mums as they get older is such a cliche and not universally true amongst my friends for sure.

I think most mums ( in the UK) do want a girl. So if their 1st is a boy they will most be hoping for a girl 2nd time round. No matter how much people on mumsnet say this is not true, I find in RL it is. And it is nice to experience parenting both.

Oh yanbu like a pp I am expecting no. 2 and have a ds, already people are saying 'Are you hoping it's a girl' and 'You can always go again if it's a boy'-as if I would make the massive decision to have another child based on the possibility that it might be a girl!!!

But of all of this, I know when ds2 is born (we know but haven't said) there is one (annoyingly mouthy) person who I know will go on about how she's so lucky to have her dds and will be on at me to go again by the christening. Please please between those of us who agree yanbu can we come up with a good one liner response to this offensiveness? !

Fuck off is usually a good one liner.They dont care about hurting your feeling,why care about theirs.mikado1Im not in the UK but really i couldnt give a rats arse bout the sexes of my kids,you might find that hard to believe but why is it so hard to believe.After all i could turn it on you and say why are you so pleased to have only to have both.

Well today at a family party DH's aunt and his cousin were chatting on about how dreadful it would have been for her to have had another boy.

(As my two boys looked after and played beautifully with the littlest member of the family. Then fetched drinks, unprompted, for the 94 year old great grandparents).

Whatevs.

Milk I have a feeling ole mouthy guts is prob jealous as she has not got a son,
I actually thought women would "crave" a boy rather than a girl ? My mistake after this post, not that I have ever cared though I was once asked if I was to have a single sex family what would I choose and I said boys, that was before having my girls though, since having I couldn't say as both are nuts :-)
Do agree with the saying son for life till they find a wife, as daughters tend to stay close to their families etc ,but that's not gospel I guess,

I'm pleased she had a girl-someone to pass all that lovely jewellry on to ! (I believe Diana once said she'd like a daughter for that reason).I don't beieve in gender stereo -typing, which is one reason I would have liked one of each .To see if it is nature or nuture ( I definitely wasn't a 'dress them in pink' mother ).
I have never forgotten watching DD1 and friend's son (same age) aged about 3 playing with dolls . She rocked the 'baby' close to her. He perched it on his knee and bounced it up and down. His mum (a civil engineer) and I couldn't decide if they were copying what they'd seen mums/dads do or whether it was an inate instinct . Was fascinating . She went on to have two girls, I had my second DD . She says they are different . My women friends with sons say there is a different bond and it is harder to maintain when they have a partner.

I'd be really surprised if Will and Kate don't have more, despite her sickness.

Yes there may be truth in the adage ' a son is a son til he gets him a wife, a daughter's a daughter all of her life' .And this is from a woman who did want a boy .

dusttar, no need to get so aggressive! It was just an observation based on what I've seen and I did say it was a generalisation. But the mums of older boys I know spend way less time with their sons that mums of older daughters do. That's all. Not saying it applies to everyone.

From this thread it does seem that lots of people have very pass remarkable friends. I've got 2 DDs and don't remember anyone ever suggesting I should be hoping for a boy when I was pregnant second time round.

Mum had a DD then DS. When she was pregnant with DC3 my GF said 'what are you expecting this time?' . What he said when she announced her fourth pregnancy has not been passed down...

DH and I always wanted three, we had 2DDs then DS and lots of people said 'now you've got your boy'. We'dhave been perfectly happy with a girl. FIL was delighted to finally have a GS after 4GDs but he was allowed .