To find gift lists for weddings fair enough but gift lists for baby showers completely grabby?

[BeanCalledPickle]

Just that really. I've been to loads of weddings. Majority have john Lewis or similar gift lists. Range of gifts and prices. No issue with that whatsoever. Buy them something they actually want or need and job done.

Gift list for baby showers seems to be more and more common and really winds me up. I don't really know why. Maybe because I would have found it cringe worthy myself, or because I don't like buying for a baby that's not yet here or maybe because the most recent one was full of things like 25 quid sleep suits and 30 quid blankets that I would never dream of buying.

The baby shower list was circulated on the basis that people have asked what's needed and this means we won't 'waste our money' and of course don't feel obliged etc. But it still winds me up.

Am I being unreasonable to think wedding lists are fine but baby shower gift lists are just too much?

We made it very very clear that we didn't want wedding presents as we were combining the contents of two homes and had a surplus of stuff already. We have given presents from a list but I prefer to think of something a bit more unusual.

Baby showers weren't a thing when my DC were born, thankfully. I have declined invitations to a couple, they really do sound grim. Close family or friends will get a Boots voucher when the baby is born.

We have wedding showers in the US, too.

'It also cost me £15 to attend, for a shit sandwich and a piece of brownie.'

You paid to go to a baby shower?! WTAF?!

Yeah, WTAF? That's also not American.

It was at a cafe type place, and we all (there were about 15 there) had to send money in advance to the organiser. It was billed as a cream tea, but really, really wasn't. If I'd had a choice, I would have a cuppa and a biscuit, which would normally cost less than a fiver. I've given her the benefit of the doubt on that though, as it might have been the venue being shit rather than her.

Lesson learned, anyway - I'll have 'prior engagements' by the time the christening rolls around, though if there is a gift list for that I will come back and post it

Love the idea of getting together with friends for a good old (non-alcoholic) do before baby arrives, but hate baby showers! I went to one recently for a very good friend - it was an hour of eating and chatting which was great, followed by some forced fun (pin the sperm on the egg anyone?!?) and then a very long, drawn out afternoon of watching presents being opened.
I would MUCH rather have bought something for my friends new baby after it was born and not under duress. Horrible grabbyness.

'It was at a cafe type place, and we all (there were about 15 there) had to send money in advance to the organiser. '

This would never happen in a million years in the US.

I have been to a couple where the mother was low income and single that were potluck and the gift list had a lot of very inexpensive items on it. The host genuinely could not afford to feed everyone fully, laid on the basics, and tbh, that's fine because you know who it is and know that person is poor and want to give them something. People were very generous and more than happy to bring along a plate of nibbles.

My cousin was only 16 when she had her first. She had married the father who was 21 and still at uni (they are still married 21 years later, with two sons) and her three aunties (my dad's other sister, my mother and his brother's wife) hosted a lovely shower for her with lists that had everything she needed for her little boy, truly everything. Some of her high school friends even brought packs of nappies.

They are generally non-alcoholic in the US, too, as they take place on weekend afternoons - 2-4pm or so. Some might have a glass or two of bubbly, but most are still lemonade and 'punch', a fruit drink, soft drinks and coffee. Sometimes the punch will be coloured blue or pink.

My group of friends and I did babyshowers for our last babies,
But it was a group of us round to someone's house for curry and wine, some silly baby shower games, gossip etcetera we all have a gift but only a small thingy hotbed would have given anyway.