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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be confused/pissed off with my employee?

90 replies

emmymillie · 29/04/2015 22:31

I employed a young girl recently as she had some basic skills needed and had no friends so i thought i would help her out as i know her through her mum. I am having to move my offices about 1.5hrs south (1hr drive for her) and i told her from the start this was a possibility. She is from an area where there are no jobs, no opportunities and generally no money, so i think shes quite lucky to have landed herself a job working for me where i'm training her in what she has 'always wanted to do'. So i let her know an approximate moving date, 4 months away so she has lots of notice, and she lets me know that she has decided she cannot possibly travel 1hr to work each day (she already travels 30mins and i pay for it extra) as it will impose on her 'me time'. I understand she wants her own time but i've just spent literally thousands on training her up. I also planned to add on an extra 1/3 of her pay and she knows this, but is going to turn it down on the basis that she wont travel an extra 30 minutes each way bearing in mind she won't be eligible for benefits straight after quitting so will have no money and will have absolutely no job prospects (even after the training i have provided) if she will not travel!

I suppose the way she is going she would have been sacked anyway, she will only work if someone is directly sitting with her telling her what to do and as soon so you stop she goes on facebook for hours even though she has work set to do which she definitely understands. She has a 1/2 hour lunch break (her own choice) but today gave herself 1.5hrs. Then i checked what she had done at the end of the day and she had done the equivalent of 20 minutes work. I walked past her today and saw she was on facebook, messaging someone. I asked her what she was doing and she said 'oh, just on facebook' like that was perfectly acceptable and carried on for another at least 30mins, surely i'm not paying her to send messages on facebook?!

I don't even know how to approach her, she believes that saying she won't travel will stop us moving and doesn't realise she will lose her job. I've never employed anyone like her before (unmotivated teenager with an interesting 'im-better-than-everyone' attitude). I'm pregnant (3rd pregnancy) with my first and my mum popped in and this girl even started telling my mum how she thinks i'm a bit immature to have a child (where did she get that from?!) and how i spend all day pretending to work but actually doing nothing (erm, no.. i think its the other way around, i'm working a minimum of 12hrs a day 7 days a week currently!). We're only a small team and having one person who doesn't fit in really makes an impact.

I only set up my business in 2014 and have never had a problem like this with an employee before. I feel like she should be sacked the way she is acting, I don't need the added stress.. or maybe its just pregnancy hormones and i'm expecting too much?

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 29/04/2015 23:48

She has an A-Level in Urinary Extraction. Get rid of her.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 30/04/2015 00:23

Tell her to have tomorrow off too. Seriously. Use the time to write up her P45. You need people who can run your business properly while you are off on maternity leave. Not take the piss and treat you like a mug. Her behaviour will not be going unnoticed by your staff. We have a similar situation where there is one member of staff who comes and goes as she pleases, cherry picks all the good shifts and has even unofficially taken control of the staff rota and gives all the spare shifts to her friend that she helped get the job. Our manager whinges to the rest of us about her but wimps out when it comes to taking back control.

TheCraicDealer · 30/04/2015 00:32

I've worked in a small business and seen the type of relaxed management style you described. In our company it worked very well, but then no-one really took the piss. Due to the small office environment and open relationship with the directors it would have been easily spotted if someone was taking the hand. But as businesses expand, especially as quickly as yours has, you have to realise that this ad hoc approach isn't suitable any more. You can't trust every single person to not be an arsehole, and that's why big company have "employee handbooks" and "return to work meetings" etc. It's to make sure that everyone is aware of the expectation placed on them by the employer. Unfortunately by not having words with her earlier you've raised this individual's expectations to the point that she thinks she can dictate where you operate from.

RebootYourEngine · 30/04/2015 07:18

I would tell her to have friday off and dont come in on monday either coz she is sacked. If her mother does moan at you for it i would be blunt with her & tell her why.

She is seriously taking the piss.

PerpendicularVincenzo · 30/04/2015 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 30/04/2015 08:01

Yep, sack her.

How you have managed to get yourself into a situation where a teenager is making demands of you, the employer, is a bit worrying though!

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 · 30/04/2015 08:33

Get rid of her and I will work for you (as long as you are in the SW and not more than 30 minutes commute please, I need my 'me time')

londonrach · 30/04/2015 08:43

Why again she is 'working' for you.

ToastyFingers · 30/04/2015 08:43

This makes me a little sad.
Jobs are few and far between in my area too and a lot of the well paying ones are gifted to friends of the managers, even when said friends are useless.

It seems that in my town at least, it really isn't what you know but who you know and there's little hope for the rest of us.

I'd say sack her, and hire someone qualified whose worked hard to get where they are, not an ungreatful teenager.

EuphemiaCoxton · 30/04/2015 08:50

Wow. At my last work it was instant dismissal if you were caught on Facebook in office hours. Nobody minded wee updates using your phone, such as pics of your colleagues ranting at the photocopier type thing, but trawling. Nuh uh. We had a small office so it was easily noticeable too.
And if you took longer than 30 minutes for lunch you had to make the time up.
Time off had to be agreed.
And I don't even think that is particularly harsh!

Sack her. Get someone who is prepared to work for their salary and wants the opportunity.

expatinscotland · 30/04/2015 08:50

Sack immediately.

LurkingHusband · 30/04/2015 08:55

This might help

MrsSchadenfreude · 30/04/2015 08:56

Sack her, and if her mother asks why, say exactly why: you employed her to do a job, not to spend the day titting about on FB, her attitude stinks, and she has no intention of doing what she is paid to do. It's a business not a charity!

expatinscotland · 30/04/2015 08:56

Tell her why and her mother why, too.

Hadalifeonce · 30/04/2015 08:57

Sorry Emmy, you need to grow a pair, and tell he to not bother coming back in, ever...............................................

EstRusMum · 30/04/2015 09:00

Sack her and hire me.

Fearofsluggies · 30/04/2015 09:05

Also just to underline something that yourma said, if you don't act quickly it could impact the rest of your team because they will either feel resentful seeing her take the piss and get away with it OR start to take the piss too - I mean why not, there are no negative consequences.

It is hard to manage a team of people near to you in age. Keep repeating to yourself: it's nice to be liked, but I NEED to be respected.

ClumsyNinja · 30/04/2015 09:17

I walked past her today and saw she was on facebook, messaging someone. I asked her what she was doing and she said 'oh, just on facebook' like that was perfectly acceptable and carried on for another at least 30mins, surely i'm not paying her to send messages on facebook?!

So you knew she was on Facebook and just left her to carry on playing on Facebook for at least another thirty minutes?

FFS, why?

Seriously, you do sound pretty clueless especially, coming on AIBU to ask how to deal with such a simple matter. I'm sorry to sound harsh but you really need to put more effort into actively managing staff rather than just providing the work.

Do yourself a huge favour and get some training in managing staff effectively. Otherwise, similar situations will crop up surprisingly often as staff can tell when management are afraid to confront poor behaviour. Not tacking these issues immediately also rapidly demotivates the previously conscientious staff!

MsJudgementalPants · 30/04/2015 09:18

I have a small business too. Your employees need very clear guidelines setting out what is expected. Facebook during work hours? I don't think so! If she took a long lunch, why didn't you raise that immediately with her? Why doesn't she know that holiday has to be pre approved? Why are you not checking the amount of work she's done every single day and feeding back to her if you're aware there's a problem? She sounds totally unmotivated to me.

You think she's taking the piss, but you are the one letting her get away with it. If your business is growing, you really need to know how to manage staff.

If you employed someone with your people management skills and they let this situation build, what would you be saying to them right now?

my2centsis · 30/04/2015 09:27

I would never travel 2hours a day on top of work! That's rediculous!! But in saying that she obviously isn't meeting her job requirements so sounds its the best thing for all

fleurdelacourt · 30/04/2015 09:29

sack her- you retain the right to do that if she only joined recently?

and maybe block facebook (and similar websites) on your work internet? Make the policy quite clear to everyone.

Littletabbyocelot · 30/04/2015 09:31

Every manager I know, including me, admits to being too soft/slow the first timethey encounter someone like this. It's hard, especially when you're crazy busy and you let the early things slide because you don't realise how bad it is.

It will get easier. Learn from it and put clear processes in place. Prioritise formalising things as it will make your maternity leave easier. goo luck.

catsmother · 30/04/2015 09:41

I would never travel 2hours a day on top of work! That's rediculous!!

All well and good if you can find work locally but an hour each way to work (i.e. 2 hours a day) is pretty common. I've never worked nearer than that and have spent 3 hours a day commuting at times. I know many people whose daily travel to work is 4 hours. Moaning about an hour each way by this entitled lazy piss taking little madam is what's ridiculous in this particular scenario (along with everything else the OP has told us).

OvertiredandConfused · 30/04/2015 09:44

I travel almost 2 hours EACH WAY every day. It's quite normal for lots of people.

CrispyFern · 30/04/2015 09:55

There are hundreds of people out there desperate for a good job. As you've spent a lot training her... Tell her your expectations, give her a week to improve, then if she's no better, get rid.

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