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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be confused/pissed off with my employee?

90 replies

emmymillie · 29/04/2015 22:31

I employed a young girl recently as she had some basic skills needed and had no friends so i thought i would help her out as i know her through her mum. I am having to move my offices about 1.5hrs south (1hr drive for her) and i told her from the start this was a possibility. She is from an area where there are no jobs, no opportunities and generally no money, so i think shes quite lucky to have landed herself a job working for me where i'm training her in what she has 'always wanted to do'. So i let her know an approximate moving date, 4 months away so she has lots of notice, and she lets me know that she has decided she cannot possibly travel 1hr to work each day (she already travels 30mins and i pay for it extra) as it will impose on her 'me time'. I understand she wants her own time but i've just spent literally thousands on training her up. I also planned to add on an extra 1/3 of her pay and she knows this, but is going to turn it down on the basis that she wont travel an extra 30 minutes each way bearing in mind she won't be eligible for benefits straight after quitting so will have no money and will have absolutely no job prospects (even after the training i have provided) if she will not travel!

I suppose the way she is going she would have been sacked anyway, she will only work if someone is directly sitting with her telling her what to do and as soon so you stop she goes on facebook for hours even though she has work set to do which she definitely understands. She has a 1/2 hour lunch break (her own choice) but today gave herself 1.5hrs. Then i checked what she had done at the end of the day and she had done the equivalent of 20 minutes work. I walked past her today and saw she was on facebook, messaging someone. I asked her what she was doing and she said 'oh, just on facebook' like that was perfectly acceptable and carried on for another at least 30mins, surely i'm not paying her to send messages on facebook?!

I don't even know how to approach her, she believes that saying she won't travel will stop us moving and doesn't realise she will lose her job. I've never employed anyone like her before (unmotivated teenager with an interesting 'im-better-than-everyone' attitude). I'm pregnant (3rd pregnancy) with my first and my mum popped in and this girl even started telling my mum how she thinks i'm a bit immature to have a child (where did she get that from?!) and how i spend all day pretending to work but actually doing nothing (erm, no.. i think its the other way around, i'm working a minimum of 12hrs a day 7 days a week currently!). We're only a small team and having one person who doesn't fit in really makes an impact.

I only set up my business in 2014 and have never had a problem like this with an employee before. I feel like she should be sacked the way she is acting, I don't need the added stress.. or maybe its just pregnancy hormones and i'm expecting too much?

OP posts:

AlternativeTentacles · 29/04/2015 22:55

You need a more robust recruitment technique than just 'i thought i would help her out as i know her through her mum'

GasLIghtShining · 29/04/2015 22:55

I know ilovesooty but as a mother of a young person who has been exceptional in her attitude I know they are not all like that but I have also heard some horror stories too

GloopyGhoul · 29/04/2015 22:56

Just curious, what's the job?!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 29/04/2015 22:58

Oh good grief why aren't you managing her?!

The fact she won't travel is a blessing because it's prompted you to act but her laziness is not really a surprise. She is rude and disrespectful and utterly feckless from what you describe.

Give her her notice and get some HR support pronto. You can engage someone external to do HR work relatively inexpensively. PM if you want recommendations if you're in England.

DarkHeart · 29/04/2015 22:58

Sack her, move on and don't be taken for a mug again

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 29/04/2015 22:59

Don't even bother with disciplinary if she has less than two years service. Just get gone.

Original poster

emmymillie · 29/04/2015 23:01

She doesn't think shes leaving, somehow she seems to be convinced she can still work in an office we won't be renting anymore.

I feel bad even bringing it up with her, she acts like she thinks shes MY boss but it will be awkward sacking her. When i think about it theres a whole list of reasons why she needs to go though, since posting this she has even text me saying shes 'having Friday off' no reason why or even asking if thats okay (she doesn't have kids, i mean if it was a school thing or her child was ill or even any excuse at all then i'd be much happier to give her the day off)! I try to be a nice boss, i want happy employees and i don't mind being flexible if that means they like their job and therefore enjoy their work but things like this make you see why the traditional 'boss' has to be more strict with employees.

Worryingly enough shes not even much younger than me, i think she has this attitude because she wants to seem older and more mature but it just makes her look like an idiot when its obvious she has no idea what shes talking about when she carries on insisting she is right in a fake posh voice which makes her sound funny.

Now i just have to bring myself to sack her..

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 29/04/2015 23:02

Lucky you - the moving is a golden opportunity to get rid if you can't do it beforehand for whatever reason.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 29/04/2015 23:04

I'll do it. My day rate is very reasonable

I could sort your paperwork and everything out in a day and have her gone by tea time.

Seriously, if you're going to run a successful business you're going to need to woman up and get your house in order.

daffsandtulips · 29/04/2015 23:05

You and her mother shouldn't have done such a good deed in the first place then.

If I were this girl I'd do the same.

SurlyCue · 29/04/2015 23:08

Honestly OP it sounds like youve been too relaxed with her. She doesnt seem to behave like your employee. This should have been clear to her at the start that you arent her friend. You need to be a proper manager if you want proper employees.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 29/04/2015 23:09

Sack her...if you do t, let me know and I'll com or and do it...she's taking the piss massively

cruikshank · 29/04/2015 23:10

If you are really wanting to run a successful business you need to be far better at recruiting, training and retaining staff than you are.

Original poster

emmymillie · 29/04/2015 23:11

I've read through the other messages, I haven't got time to manage her properly, i'm really really understaffed right now because my business is expanding so unexpectedly quickly AND i'm knackered and being sick all the time (i literally have a bucket under my desk).

I don't usually recruit like that, the rest of my team are great but when you have a successful business and someone keeps asking you to help out their daughter because 'its her dream job' you don't really want to say no, or at least i don't (i'm too soft!). I'm recruiting now but its a long process to find
the right people, or it seems long when your so understaffed and DESPERATE!

I'll be sacking her tomorrow. I thought i would be better to check other peoples opinions first incase it was pregnancy hormones making me think she is useless.

OP posts:

daffsandtulips · 29/04/2015 23:11

She doesnt want to work for you anyway, which is very obvious. So stop being a do gooder and let her find her own way is my opinion.

Nanny0gg · 29/04/2015 23:12

If you want your business to succeed, I think you need to spend some of the 'thousands' you spent training this girl on training yourself to be a manager.

I can't believe you let her get away with a tenth of the stuff she's done.

And I'd be telling her that if she has Friday off she might as well take the following Monday (Tues, Weds etc) and the rest of her life. Because she was sacked.

Original poster

emmymillie · 29/04/2015 23:13

This is an exception, I would say something if it was someone else who works for me but I feel rude as I know her mum will be majorly pissed off with me for sacking her.

My other employees are nothing like her which is why she stands out so much.

OP posts:

Akire · 29/04/2015 23:15

Well done it will be great for the rest of your work force too. Nothing breads resentment more than one member of staff getting away with murder!

ImperialBlether · 29/04/2015 23:16

What's it got to do with her mum? She'll be pissed off because she'll have her lying around the house doing nothing again!

daffsandtulips · 29/04/2015 23:17

Golden rules. Never go into business with a friend as a partner nor employ peoples children. You will expect far too much for doing a "favour" and the the child will know this and rebel. Its not rocket science.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 29/04/2015 23:19

Post it first thing since she won't be in until Tuesday. She should get it Saturday. Hopefully she'll have gone away for the weekend.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 29/04/2015 23:23

If you ever find yourself in this situation again, where a friend wants you to do someone a favour, you offer to give them an interview if s suitable job comes up. But that's it. No jobs for mates. Hire on merit only.

JockTamsonsBairns · 29/04/2015 23:39

So, you run your own successful business, yet you're desperately understaffed, have given a mate's daughter a job as a favour, and are asking on MN how to deal with her substandard performance? My mind is boggling here. She sits on Facebook for hours? She questioned your maturity levels to your mum , she's texted you to inform you that she won't be in on Friday - but you'd feel 'rude' sacking her, as her mum would be pissed off?

I'm sorry to be blunt, but I do think you need to strengthen your management style - not just with her, as I note that she's going to be gone soon, but in general terms. There will be others along in the future just like her, and it will cause no end of problems amongst your committed employees if you fail to demonstrate robust procedures to deal with them.

worksallhours · 29/04/2015 23:40

When you hire, always go through a formal procedure. I know so many people that have been terribly burned by informally hiring relatives and friends.

Pico2 · 29/04/2015 23:41

Don't worry about her mum - she has palmed her useless daughter off on you and you have been paying her useless daughter to do sweet FA. Her mum should be embarrassed.

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