To disagree with MIL over this.

[cleoteacher]

Over the back Holliday weekend dh and I are going to stay the night at FILs house with dcs and we thought we would take the opportunity to go out for the evening just dh and I. Just for a meal and maybe a drink afterwards depending on now knackered we are.

Ds is two and a half so no problem there but dd is only 9 weeks. But she is an excellent sleeper and for the last month has gone down at 7 and slept until 4/5 o clock without fail.

MIL thinks it is too early to go out as dd is so young. Is she right?

I would not be leaving her if I wasn't confident she will do the same at FIL s house and we have told FIL that we will come straight back if she did wake as I don't think he would have a clue what to do with a baby if she did. We would take the Moses basket for her to sleep in and the monitor for him to listen to her with. She would sleep in a room with us so would be on her own until we went to bed.

Is it possible that MIL is jealous you are leaving the children with FIL?

Would the baby be too young to be left if she were the one asked to babysit?

I do think you need to make sure FIL is totally happy with the arrangement though.

If he's not happy about being left for several hours, could you and DH nip out for a quiet drink, just for an hour, and then bring back a takeaway for the three of you, so you get a bit of a night out but aren't leaving FIL for too long?

When we left the hospital after DS was born neither of us could believe that they were actually letting us loose with a baby and no supervision. We kept expecting someone to run after us and say "there's been a mistake, you are clearly clueless, bring that baby back inside."

We managed fine. And FIL is a parent and grandparent. As long as he's happy to babysit, the worst that could happen is you have to come home a bit early.

It could be that mil is jealous and doesn't like her exh.

Or it could be that since she has brought up at least 1 child with him, she knows he would not be able to cope.

Personally I wouldn't leave a 9 week old with someone who hasn't looked after a baby for 30 years (guessing at dhs age) or I was not 100% confident was ok.

My other issue is going to visit someone for one night and going out without the person you are visiting. Surely the whole purpose is to visit fil , rather than visiting so he can babysit?

As long as fil and you guys are happy to do it, then do it. We left our DD with GPs overnight at 8 weeks, and I'm sure many many parents have done similar. Enjoy your night out if you can.

I'm smiling here at the idea that a grown man might not be able to cope with a 9 week old baby for an hour or two because he lacks experience. So do we all, at the start! They still let us take our babies home from hospital. Assuming the man has the sense to get himself dressed in the morning I'm sure he will manage.

I'm not going to say what I would or wouldn't do if it were my baby, because that's irrelevant here.

I think if everyone is happy (FIL included) then I don't see why not. I'm presuming the baby will take a bottle? If you think you could relax and not be on edge the whole time and would actually be able to enjoy yourselves, then I don't see the issue.

I don't see the problem and would have left my baby for a meal at that age however if you're worried could you not take baby with you in a car seat tucked under the table? We also did that a few times?

Enjoy your dinner out.

I wouldn't. (Didn't have anyone to leave DD with until she was 9 months, and even then I wasn't convinced it was a great idea!)

oh fgs, he's a grown man, theres no reason he cannot pick up a crying child and give her a cuddle / bottle / nappy change if you have left everything out

go out and enjoy yourself!! you're leaving the baby(s) with FAMILY!!

MiL's view is irrelevant

If you, DH and FiL are happy then fine, enjoy your night out