My DH is 10 years younger than me and we have 3 children. He has a good job in the city and I was an English teacher at a local school. I gave up after my second child and had all 3 very close together. I am 43 and rented for about 25 years? Renting is an absolute nightmare.
We lived in Bromley ( South Esat Greater London) and saved as much as we could but with the high rent and 3 children it has been very hard. My in laws have loaned us via a bank, 20K to get us on the housing ladder.
We have just bought ( In Feb ) a tiny, cramped 4 bed house in Kent. I have had to move my children from their school, completely uproot our lives and start again. The house need 20K of work doing to it- it's a horrible mess and hasnt been touched in 30 years by the elderly man who lived here before. I'm living with a cracked, dirty 1960's bathroom, filthy, small kitchen that I' m trying to clean and paint, terrible garden that needs landscaping, just endless work.
I'm alone in this new town where everyone knows each other already and we have moved to a cheaper area so the demographics of class and ambition are very different to what I'm used to.
I am extremely lucky to be able to have a home now but I have rented all my life so far and its so nice to get away from landlords. But I just don't know if it's worth it. The schools are not as good here, the London links are poorer. I have lived in London for years and my DH born and brought up there . He has a really good job and STILL we couldn't afford the area.
Rents in Bromley are £1,600 pcm for an ordinary 3 bed semi in an ok part of the borough. House prices are £500K minimum. I've left friends, my church, my comfort zone, my children have had to adapt and with my eldest in Yr 6 that has not been easy but we wanted to move before she started secondary.
Without that loan from my inlaws which we are paying back each month, we would be trapped in renting forever with a nightmare landlord who tried to evict us after 6 years with a Section 21 and then said we could only stay if we paid another £350 per month higher rent.
I wasn't financially settled at all when I had my 1st child, so it is partly my fault, I understand that. My DH was young and I was struggling at 31 in a bedsit. However, we have worked so hard over the last 10 years to get this property; my DH pays higher rate tax, I get lower CB, packed lunches for the kids as we cant afford school meals for 3, heating turned right down, very old car, I wear charity shop stuff and cheap flaschool shoes from Tesco!
It shouldn't be THIS difficult for hard working people to have a family home. I'm so grateful for everything I have but we have made huge sacrifices which has taken a huge strain on our marriage to say the least. Go knows how many times I have got divorced in the last 10 years.
I don't think we could ever afford to go back to London now even though my husband is a high earner. I can't work at the moment due to medical reasons and one salary is only just to cover all we need. No holiday for us this year, no extras etc. My DH's ticket to London is 6K a year and takes 1 1/2 hrs each way. That's how far we have had to move out to get a small family home and some security for my children. Maybe things will be better when I can return to work but high childcare costs and my health has prevented me so far .
I feel for everyone trapped in renting and can't get out. Sorry if I sound ungrateful. I'm indebted my inlaws -without them there would have been no way of us accessing a mortgage, our savings weren't enough. Its been a real struggle and even though I do like it where I am, it's a big upheveal. My family are all from London going back centuries and my DH's family were Irish immigrants to the East End. Hackney is now £400K for a flat!
The housing situation is truly unbelievable in this country. I honestly don't know how most people with young families of two or more children are coping unless you are already wealthy.