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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to just turn off the tv whenever Nepal comes on and ignore it

215 replies

nettlewine · 29/04/2015 06:46

It just upsets me too much and makes me feel useless. I've already given a donation.

I just feel like it doesn't affect me so I shouldn't feel the need to see all the brutal details as it doesn't achieve anything.

OP posts:
duplodon · 01/05/2015 14:16

Watching others suffering from a removed situation many thousands of miles away is not the same as empathising or caring. That implies person to person connection. By all means donate but let's not cod ourselves that the passive act of watching television, whether or not you donate, is some sort of caring act. It's just watching television.

Inkanta · 01/05/2015 14:56

' let's not cod ourselves that the passive act of watching television, whether or not you donate, is some sort of caring act.'

Exactly.

ConfusedInBath · 01/05/2015 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Southamerica · 01/05/2015 18:21

Why can't you care about people you've never met? It's not a caring act of course not but I care enormously about what has happened to these people whether I've met them or not.

nettlewine · 01/05/2015 18:36

Finally braved it to come back to this, glad I read past the first page and lots of people get where I'm coming from.

I'm sorry if I offended you pp from nz, it obviously does effect me a lot but affects my day to day life very little. I'm not saying it should be ignored all together its just I've seen enough to know how horrific it was. The other day that ghastly sky news woman was reporting on it and it felt like it was done for entertainment, constant tickers of the numbers killed.

I really didn't mean to affend anyone, I feel terrible for everyone affected but me getting upset watching news isn't going to help anyone.

OP posts:
duplodon · 01/05/2015 20:02

It is a Hiberno-English phrase, meaning the same as 'kid' but I expect the meaning is clear enough Confused.

You can care, I don't suggest anyone can't or shouldn't care.. but I do think it's easy to watch television and feel sad watching others suffer far away and much harder to show ongoing compassion to the suffering around you in ways that have a meaningful difference to people in pain. Time and time again, I read of callousness on MN shown to parents who have been bereaved and parents with severely disabled children, for example.

It's easy to have a caring feeling or a caring thought, and I don't think it is a bad thing.. It is good for our own mental wellbeing to care for our fellow human beings, but if it stays as a private event and you have no person to person connection, it is really about you rather than something that alleviates the suffering of the person in pain.

It may well be exercising your capacity for compassion, but we need to be clear it is not something that tangibly supports those people at the worst moments of their lives... so if you turn off because actually it's too much to bear, that's really largely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you are exercising your compassion about other things, or other suffering, or maybe the most important thing is that you show compassion to yourself and what you can tolerate in that moment. All Buddhist teachers are clear: if you can't find compassion for another in a particular moment, you are right to cultivate it in yourself.

Obviously, not applying this to goady trolls, who have a whole other thing going on.

alrayyan · 01/05/2015 20:55

nettle I didn't find you offensive one bit. There was only one.offensive thing about this thread and that was the imposter who was posting outrageous things to get a rise. One of the worst things to have been invented ever was rolling news. It means you literally do have to switch off because you would go mad if you don't.

Kampeki · 01/05/2015 21:02

I didn't find your post offensive either, OP, not at all. Other posts were offensive, perhaps deliberately so.

I'm glad you came back. You may not want to watch the coverage, but you have made a donation, which will be far more useful to the Nepali people as they strive to get through this awful time.

ConfusedInBath · 01/05/2015 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopinthep · 02/05/2015 09:34

Yes, YABU OP. Your reasoning is a little weak.

OrlandoWoolf · 02/05/2015 10:52

I suspect that Nepal will not be in the news for much longer given the fact that someone is having a baby.

Kampeki · 02/05/2015 11:00

Yes Orlando. Strange how the birth of one individual can overshadow the news about Nepal, the election etc. I wish Kate and William well for their new arrival, but a young couple having a baby is hardly an unusual occurrence.

loopinthep · 02/05/2015 19:18

kampeki describing them as merely a "young couple" makes as much sense as describing the earthquake in Nepal as yet another natural disaster; both are factually correct but..........

Southamerica · 03/05/2015 15:24

We do need a bit of lightness and happiness in the world though don't we and after the awful events in Nepal it is lovely to see a new baby being born.

Nepal still firmly in my thoughts.

loopinthep · 03/05/2015 16:13

I agree southamerica; the Royal baby provides lots of joy to millions and comes as some relief.

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