Term time working, advice needed

[letscookbreakfast]

My partner has been working at Day Nurseries and Pre-Schools for over 11 years, last year she decided that she'd had enough of the long Day Nursery hours and that she'd rather work term time only for slightly more money per hour but obviously less money overall at a Pre-School. She was on minimum wage at the nurseries, she now gets just above that. She gets four weeks of holiday pay over the summer holidays to ease the pain of no pay for six weeks. She can also do a few hours at the holiday club for a few days a week if she is picked.

I work full time at a Local Authority and I enjoy it, I've been there a long time but I feel no need to move on. Not to mention that I have a physical disability and I'm grateful to be where I am. I'm moving up the pay band every few years.

Before she took the Pre-School job I expressed my reservations due to the fact that we'd have money coming in but it wouldn't be the same amount each month very often due to half term and other holidays.

However now the shit has hit the fan because she's realised that although she's working less and she's happier she's not earning as much as she was before which means that we have less money coming into the joint and she has less money to herself. Not to mention that she can't choose when she has annual leave which is also pissing her off.

Every month I'm putting as much as I possibly can into the joint, bearing in mind I need money left over to pay my regular bills (like she does). I'm now regulary having to dip into my overdraft to put even more money into the joint as she can't put enough into the joint. She was off sick yesterday (no sick pay) and she's reluctantly gone in today. We have a bit of money in the savings but that will dwindle as we are getting married this year.

I honestly don't know what to suggest, she says that she'll look for a full time job but since starting term time she's not been stressed, she's been a lot more happier and everyone has noticed.

Does anyone work term time? How do they manage?

I used to - but the pay was averaged out over the year - so I was paid the same salary each month whether it was school holidays or not.

Perhaps work out salary over the year and divide into 12 and put away the excess in full working months to cover the shortfall in holiday periods?

I used to. It was great, but i had the pay all fixed in my workings first. Like many in public sector etc (college) redundancy put an end to it.

Does she not get paid equally over 12 months? Does that mean she will get no pay at all in august?

You need to cut your cloth accordingly - you cannot go into your overdraft for basic living expenses.

No she is not paid equally, in August she'll get her four week holiday pay.

You've complained about your wife before haven't you ? The iPad ?

It wasn't a complaint but yes, her iPad broke and she wanted to buy another one.

I think this is much bigger than her salary, it sounds like you're not really sitting down and discussing your finances both joint and separately. If you're getting married then you really need to budget taking into account all your bills. What are both your bills, do you need to cancel subscriptions, look for better deals etc.

I agree that her money needs to be calculated by month and the excess put aside to cover holiday months. You probably need to cut your cloth accordingly if your income is less and maybe your partner could look into holiday childminding, working at other holiday clubs or registering with a babysitting agency or similar, to increase her earnings in the holidays. You really need to know exactly how much you need a month.

We both know how much the bills cost, the amount that I put into the joint covers every joint household bill including rent, her amount only really needs to cover four weeks worth of shopping but sometimes it struggles to even cover that. I want to get rid of Sky as the TV package on its own is £70 and we can get by on Netflix but she won't let me as Netflix doesn't have everything that we both watch.

since starting term time she's not been stressed, she's been a lot more happier and everyone has noticed.

Shock horror...working less hours is less stressful..,who'd have thought it?!

Do you have children whereby having the school holidays off saves on childcare?

If not and the household can't survive on its current income then she will have to find full time work. Maybe in a different area of workinh five days a week in a nursery or preschool stresses her. Preschool hours are only 9-3 so hardly long days.

I know several people who work at my DS's pre school who work evenings in the local supermarket as well. The pre school hours are only part time, so it's the equivalent of a full time job to do both.

Of course working part time is less stressful...!!!!! Why does she need to work part time-do you have kids? Part time is great if you have kids or no money worries but if you're struggling financially, seems rather selfish.

We don't have children...

I don't understand it either, she's diabetic but as far as I know working full time won't harm her. She's just concerned about her moods and happiness I guess.

Minor point in the great scheme of things, but have you looked at Now TV to replace Sky?

It has the 'major' channels that Freeview/Freesat don't have (SKy 1, Atlantic, FX and Discovery, amongst others) plus streaming, catch up and box sets and only costs £6.99 a month.

I don't think that Now TV supports subtitles does it? I'm deaf with speech which is why we got Sky before Netflix came to the fore. Sky's on demand service is shit anyway as there's no subtitles.

It really sounds like your fiancee needs a reality check. There's absolutely nothing wrong with her preferring to work fewer hours, but she has to accept the consequences - she has less money, and so must buy less stuff. This should be a joint decision with you, and you certainly shouldn't be dipping into your overdraft essentially to cover a sky subscription that she insists on while also wanting to work in a pattern that earns less.

I also think, though, that it's not helpful to discuss the joint account in terms of what she pays for and what you pay for - it should be that you each put in what you can afford and then either of you takes the money out to pay for the joint expenses that are agreed on. I would suggest discussing your individual finances, too - what each of you earn in total, and what each of you actually need and therefore can afford to transfer into the joint account.

We don't discuss what we each pay for, the money is pooled together. I typed what I did before to illustrate what my money can cover and what I can't.

This is a bit blunt, but should you be getting married?

I think a relationship that isn't built on mutual trust and honesty is doomed tbh.

I've always been the major wage earner - DH and i have a joint account - even when he was a student, he paid in most of what he had and kept a minimum for personal expense. I think it's fair that you both keep the same for individual spending and tip into the pot everything else, but she should be working full time as you do unless she is prepared to take a cut in her personal income for spending. The way I look at it DH and I both work hard, society just values what I do in terms of cash better than it does his job.

She is also taking away a term time job from someone who would desperately love it as they need the time of for childcare which I know is not necessarily her problem but if it isn't suiting her in terms of incme anyway it seems a bit stupid.

i think you need to sit down together and go through all your expenses and income and discuss whether she needs to review her employment and find a happy medium between working hours and pay - not easy i know,

It was her choice to take the job, I certainly don't think of it as depriving anybody.

Where have I said that I don't trust her or I haven't been honest? I told her what I thought about it in regards to money before she took the job.

I'm not questioning our relationship, I'm just looking for practical advice really.

She sounds bloody lazy and entitled to me.

She wants to work part-time because it's less stressful (less hard work) - who wouldn't? But she wants you to go into debt so she can continue living the same lifestyle as when she was working full-time.

Was she born in 1930? Does she believe it's the man's job to be the breadwinner and she gets to mess about with a little pin-money job?

Either that or she's very thick if she didn't realise earning less means less to spend. And that term time working means you have to take your holidays out of term.

Are you sure you want to marry someone who sponges off you like this? There's a term on here, cocklodger, well you seem to have found yourself a fannylodger instead.

oh ok, so you don't want comments on the relationship or her, just practical advice.

Practical advice: tell her to stop acting dumb and get a full time job. do a detailed budget on a spreadsheet. All income goes into joint account, no personal spending from it, transfer a personal spending amount back out to individual accounts. Personal spending amount could be tied into working hours and so the overall contribution of that person.

I agree, don't get married. Who wants a lazy partner that expects to be subsidised to just work a few hours whilst leaving the other in debt. That's not a partnership.

Be honest with her and tell her she needs to fine a job she enjoys with more hours or a second job as you can't afford her lifestyle. If she wants certain things, let her earn them herself.

I told her that I think she needs to get a new job with more regular pay yesterday evening, her words were 'well you can help me look then.' She then sat there on her iPad (that I'm paying for) on Facebook.

I honestly feel bad as her mood is so much better since she started her term time job.

letscook - I wasn't doubting your honesty and committment.....

Practical advise remains the same - write it all down, work out what is fair based on your input into the relationship. If she is doing stuff during her time off that contributes to your household over and above her half then great, that can be reflected - we did exactly what loveareading suggests and pay an amount back into a personal account each for spending. Works well.

Also do stuff like shop around for your energy, phones, insurance etc - cut out non essentials such as Sky. Plan your food shopping within a budget - do it on-line so you can both contribute to what can be afforded.

If she has. Childcare qualification and checked, then she could look to nanny for the school holidays. I bet there are full time working mothers who would need just the holiday childcare.

I do supply so my pay changes regularly. I've learned to save any extra I get and that sees me through. She could ask to be paid over 12 months.