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Original poster

AIBU to feel really strongly about the new Cancer Research UK ad

145 replies

Gattasyl · 27/04/2015 14:34

I keep hearing it on the radio and it's really starting to annoy the c*ap out of me. I think to keep putting the emphasis on cancer as a battle, as something you can win if you fight hard enough is just unfair and untrue and to be honest misleading.
This new one says 'so and so is a cancer fighter by night' because she's running the marathon...' I don't know... I find it really offensive towards people who have not 'beaten' the disease! AIBU??

OP posts:
PlasmaMatters · 27/04/2015 15:44

YANBU - I never liked the idea of people 'battling' diseases. I am sure cancer patients are trying their best already without the pressure of being told they are in a battle. Also, there is so much advertising of cancer related things, like shampoo bottles with pink ribbons, etc, all over the place, I sometimes wonder if cancer survivors or their families get sick of being reminded of it all the time?

sandy30 · 27/04/2015 15:48

YANBU. I find the ads at best cringeworthy and at worst offensive.

finnbarrcar · 27/04/2015 15:50

Completely agree op it's offensive and stupid. My good friend who recovered from breast and skin cancer used to berate anyone who used this analogy or referred to her as a survivor. She prefered the term "cancer traveller".

RedDwarfPosse · 27/04/2015 15:56

I agree.

Both my grandfather-in-law and my beloved nan are both 'losing' their fight to cancer right now. Grandad has just weeks to live, and my own nan is on life-support after developing fatal complications after surgery to remove a cancerous tumour, but we've now been asked for permission to no longer keep treating her because she's not responding to any treatment and only deteriorating further with each day.

I'm utterly heartbroken, as neither of them deserve such a cruel torturous end.

But I've never been more proud and in total awe of their bravery. The strength of character while staring death in the face is admirable.

My poor nan is no longer conscious and I will never have the chance to speak to her again. It destroys me I won't get the chance to tell her how truly proud I am of her and how desperately I love her, but do not expect her to 'fight' any longer because her poor little body has had enough.

I hate the suggestion that these two wonderful angels are suggested as being 'losers' because they damn well arent!

Sallystyle · 27/04/2015 15:58

YANBU. I started a thread about this myself pretty recently and there was one in chat last week, so you are definitely not alone.

Just after my kids dad died a friend who had cancer ( a form of cancer that has a very high success rate and thankfully took only two treatments to treat) posted on FB that it was his anniversary of 'surviving cancer'. People after people commented that of course he survived, he is strong, cancer didn't have a chance against him! and so on and so on. I wanted to reply ' wait, so my kids dad died because he was weak and didn't fight hard enough?"

I understand that people were just being nice and celebrating with him, but fuck that hurt to read.

A day later he sent me an email with a ribbon that said 'Cancer came from my friend but my friend thought and cancer lost' and asked me to share it on FB.

cleanasawhistle · 27/04/2015 16:00

I have cancer at the moment and I really hate the term battle too and feel the same as you op....does that mean some were weaker and didn't fight hard enough. We get told we have cancer and this what can be done and we get on with it.

Something else that bugs me also....BE POSITIVE.
I feel most people can get sympathy for having a bad day but if I have a low period all I get is be positive.

Too many adverts.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2015 16:01

Oh and my ex husband cried and cried and cried when he told me he was dying and we needed to tell the kids. I imagine him hearing about others being strong and battling cancer and winning made him feel really good.

He was 39. Left behind three young boys so fuck anyone who uses this shit language or can;t understand why it is hurtful.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2015 16:04

Jesus sorry about that.

That was meant to say

Cancer came FOR my friend, my friend fought and cancer lost.

I was getting so wound up I completely messed up my grammar. I am cringing!

Ludoole · 27/04/2015 16:06

Well my fiance is having palliative treatment for terminal cancer and is doing what he can to give us longer together. He hates the cancer adverts with a passion!!
The implication that you can "fight" it if your strong enough gets his back right up. Hes the strongest person i know and he has no chance against this disease.
He also hates the advert where the woman with cancer is seen looking lonely and miserable while having chemo.

Twirlwirlywoo · 27/04/2015 16:08

I am just sick to death of not being able to get away from cancer.

Every time I have the radio or TV I am reminded that the evil disease exists.

I am currently having cancer investigations and briefly I do get moments when I forget but am only too quickly reminded.

2014 was the year of cancer in our household. So many people we knew and love were affected by it last year it got to the point that when the phone rang we used to say - so who's got cancer now! Last week I attended my 3rd Cancer funeral in 12 months.

I don't need to be reminded. This evil disease is part of my life pretty much every waking moment.

I know the charity mean well and I support it and admire how far they have come with medical advances but I am just so sick of having it rammed in my face. In the shops its all pink race for life merchandise, its on the labels of my food in the cupboard, chuggers on the street, people knocking on my door,its on the TV and its on the radio. I want a day when I don't have to be reminded about it in the brief and few cancer stress and worry free moments I do have.

expatinscotland · 27/04/2015 16:10

I turn it off. Every.single.time.

On 7 July 2012, my nine-year-old daughter died due to acute myeloid leukaemia.

It wasn't a battle or a fight. Her own bone marrow fundementally, irreversibly malfunctioned due to a cruel, vile disease. It's one's own body, not an assault by ISIS.

It ended her life and ruined mine.

SookyBunny · 27/04/2015 16:12

I also have cancer and really hate the battle/survivor terminology. When I was first diagnosed early last year I spoke to my mum's minister (although I myself am not particularly religious) and he said that to term it a battle means there will always be a winner and a loser and that to always be "fighting" is stressful and ultimately uses a lot of energy that would be better put to listening to your body and healing, if that makes sense? It resonated with me and in the 16 months since my diagnosis I have mostly felt strong and positive but have never thought of myself as brave or a fighter. I'm just sure it will all be ok in the end!

Ludoole · 27/04/2015 16:13

Expat Flowers Sad

finnbarrcar · 27/04/2015 16:14

Expat I have no words xx

Jojoanna · 27/04/2015 16:14

Into dad died recently from cancer. I hate the adverts with a passion. I too turn them off.

Sallystyle · 27/04/2015 16:19

Thanks to everyone.

My boys lost their dad, and then a few months later they lost two grandparents to cancer, so these adverts make me very very angry as it is still so raw, like it is for so many people here. These adverts are hurting people and offending people and I am surprised they haven't got that through their heads yet.

Much love to those with cancer, those who have loved ones with cancer and those who have lost loved ones from cancer.

Prole · 27/04/2015 16:19

Cancer and most health adverts are so predicated on 'family' that little old me with no family wonders if I'm deemed worthy of treatment.

shewept · 27/04/2015 16:42

God I hate this. Reading everyone's stories about cancer and how fucking totally completely shitty it is. I hate reading that these adverts upset everyone so much and they still trot them out.

I am thinking of you all Flowers

SunnyBaudelaire · 27/04/2015 16:43

expat I am so sorry for your loss.
xx

expatinscotland · 27/04/2015 17:25

She was in a children's onco unit, of course. It was never quiet in there. Always full. Of children and babies with cancer. One was even born with liver cancer and another two with brain cancer.

How does 'fight' and 'battle' apply to such young children, even babies were in there. Some of those babies never even lived to walk, one of them was my friend's daughter, much less understand such stupid terminology surrounding their disease.

My child did not 'lose her battle'. She died of a disease that claimed her and so many.

shewept · 27/04/2015 19:01

Expat I remember, I have been away from mn for while, until recently. But you and your family were often in my thoughts. It's not a battle, you are so right.

Charley50 · 27/04/2015 19:33

Totally agree. Flowers for you all and Expat I'm so sorry.

Justusemyname · 27/04/2015 19:39

Within seconds of telling my MIL that my only relation had cancer and had had enough she said she obviously didn't want to live Angry. I was pregnant and gave her a bit of a talking too.

wigglesrock · 27/04/2015 19:46

I have spent the afternoon with my Dad, who had bowel cancer, who is struggling through bastarding chemotherapy vomiting or diarrhoea on an hourly basis at the minute, whose skin is cracking, who is so weary that he is in bed by 7.30 every night and if he dies from a disease that had already robbed him of one of his brothers will he not have fought enough?, will he have given up? I fucking hate the battle/survivor analogy - almost as much as does.

expatinscotland · 27/04/2015 19:46

'my MIL that my only relation had cancer and had had enough she said she obviously didn't want to live'

This is the ignorance that such terminology breeds and it is very harmful, IMO and IME, to both those who have cancer and their families.

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