To still be rocking my 6 month old to sleep?

[VexiLexi303]

I need to know if there's other mums out there having the same problem! DS recently turned 6 months and has been a great sleeper, sleeping through the night at 4 months so that's not what concerns me.

I can usually time DS's naps. Roughly he naps every two hours but this can vary with sometimes being a little earlier or later as I can tell when he's cranky. The problem is recently in the past few weeks DS refuses to nap without being rocked, he kicks up, cries, red face and tears until he's rocked but even then if it's not long enough and I set him down the cycle begins all over again, I should also mention DS is a heavy baby, he's 22 pounds but he's a long baby so not chubby, HV said he's a great weight at last weigh in which was grand but after a few minutes of rocking my arms and back are killing me!

I've tried a softer CC for this and let him cry for roughly one or two minutes before going in to pat and comfort him/give him his dummy back and this does work, he'll roll onto his side and sleep but it distresses me so much seeing him cry and seeing his tears and he's teething (already has two bottom front teeth!) so I tend to convince myself that this also makes him fussy with naps.

AIBU to continue rocking him and hope he grows out of it or am I creating a rod for my own back as they say? Genuinely torn with this one!

Definitely not being unreasonable, he's still so small. He will learn to go to sleep on his own when he is older. In the meantime, if your back hurts, have you tried bouncing him to sleep on a yoga ball?

Hi OP

I was exactly the same with my DS1 and also have a really bad back so know how it feels - I can still remember trying to get just a bit of support by leaning against the cot when he was nearly asleep and the agony when I tried to straighten.

Two things I tried that helped a little bit - patting his bottom strongly instead of rocking sometimes worked and was marginally less painful. I also - rather than cc - stayed with him gently patting his bottom whilst he lay in the cot, then leaving my hand on him and then slowly moving away. However this I also a bit painful as you are still having to lean over the cot.

I ended up really doing a lot of damage to my back. Maybe if he will go to sleep after a few minutes of crying that might be the best approach - could you do it for a day or two and see if he stops crying? Would it work staying in the room rather than leaving, so he knows you are there? I know how you feel though as I could never do cc with my son either . I hope you find a solution soon.

YANBU to do what you like , and whatever works for your DC, as far as getting them to sleep goes.

However YABU to continue with a sleep inducement method that causes you physical pain and could potentially cause you long term health issues. Let's face it, DS isn't going to get any lighter, is he? If you're in pain now-it's only going to get worse.

Absolutely ignore 'friends' who are judgemental about your choices but don't ignore what your own body is trying to tell you. Personally I'd far rather work on getting baby to self settle without rocking than risk possible back issues which could potentially be excruciating and impact massively on quality of life for both of you.

Totally agree with diet - your back matters! Basically you can't rock your baby to sleep without doing damage - do you are going to have to find a different solution, whether it's patting, cc or whatever.

Fwiw I had one of the easiest babies in the world, until 6 months when she started asking up. It didn't resolve in time at all... 2.5 years and she was still waking up.

My 6 month Dd only sleeps if I'm breastfeeding her while walking around the house and rocking, bouncing, singing her to sleep. I let her take all her naps on me as laying her down requires too much effort. She needs to be in contact with the nipple at all times while being moved or she will wake up and it takes a good twenty minutes before she lets me go when I finally lay her down to sleep at night.

One thing that helped me immensely is yoga. No need to join a class, just google 'sun salutation'. It takes 3 minutes, stretches out all your spine after a marathon rocking session and strengthens the arms. Perfect for rocking a heavy baby several times a day.

However YABU to continue with a sleep inducement method that causes you physical pain

Retraining to whatever would suit you best usually only takes about three days. I had to retrain my dd at seven months to sleep without being breastfeed and we did that by rocking and singing to her. I was looking after my dgd of thirteen months and she wanted me to walk and rock her but it was killing me, so I would put her down on the bed and let her cry a bit and then pick her up with me sitting down and she accepted.

Have not read tft but all I can say is I did everything I was told to and avoided everything I was told not to inc rocking, feeding etc. Guess what,wewe've still had loads of ups and downs with sleeping and currently have to sit with ds3 until he drifts off and I am happy to, was way too influenced by the finger waggers early on. Only thing I could add is maybe he's stretching a little further than two hours of wakefulness now and might have started needing the rocking as not completely tired.. would you add 10-15 mins to his awake time and see will he go off quicker? And enjoy him :)

Alice, I'm going to try a glider from eBay to see if it works, nothing beats a try! I know he hates me sitting down but I don't think I can't stand for much longer.

Prim, I've used my birth ball to bounce him and he hates it. He refuses to settle unless I'm up and rocking, honestly I swear he knows the difference.

Beaker, I sympathise so much with you because I've went through exact same. It's gotten to the point where I can't bend over doing daily things without my back cramping up and hurting. I know it's the rocking that's doing it and making it worse but each time I leave DS to cry, even though it really is just a minute, I come back to red faced tears and it absolutely breaks my heart.

I feel like I'm letting him down in some way by not comforting him when he needs it but at the same time he sleeps straight after the minute once I go to return his dummy and pat him and even though I feel like crap my back is spared slightly so it seems to be a double edged sword.

Diet, Fellow, I know I don't leave him for that long and that I do go back to comfort him which does work but I suppose what really gets me is that he looks so distressed. If the glider fails I'm going to have to stick with this method as it's the only one that gives me a bit of ease. Because the cc is the only thing I'll have left though I'm dreading hoe long it will take him to get used to it.

Aga, you have my sympathies! DS can't just be rocked, he has to have his dummy at all times or he keeps crying, it makes nap time feel like a war zone! I've been actually looking into yoga classes designed for after pregnancy in our area, though I haven't gathered the courage or strength to do it just yet.

Coyo, I know how that feels all too well, with DS though if I even attempt to sit or bend in anyway that isn't straight DS will wake up and pitch a fit! I've tried to get him used to sitting and patting in his crib but he keeps crying and even refuse his dummy until I've picked him up.

Mika, would I sound terrible if I told you your post has given me a little hope that my terrible rocking habit hasn't ruined DS forever? I'm going to mix some methods I've been learnt here today by keeping him awake a bit longer and using s gliding to see if that combined effort will help him if not...I'll need to resort to cc because my back won't take much more of this!

Delighted it's given some perspective! You won't have to resort to cc, you can try shush pat while he's in cot and stay with him throughout. Yes I have thrown out the books but still remember all the methods by heart!!!

I don't rock to sleep and haven't ever done it... but, I loathe the term 'making a rod for your own back'. I have heard this several times with my DS but over different issues. He is my baby, not theirs. I raise him how I want to, and if I do make a rod for my own back, it was my choice and I will live with the consequences.

Do what you want to do OP. My internal response to this bs is: 'did you carry my baby for 9 months and then push him out of your vagina? Ohwait, nope, that was me. My baby, my rules.' I never say it, just think it and give a nice smile.

OP - I think Mikados idea of pushing the nap back a little is also a good one. With DS1 I was a bit too obsessed with the 'correct' wakeful times and think part of the needing rocking was that he wasn't quite tired enough. He didn't start really napping easily until he dropped to one nap ( and when my nanny started - her first day she just took him up, put him down and he went to sleep!!)

Hi op I don't think it is possible to 'spoil' a 6 month old baby

However it doesn't sound like the rocking is working for you or going to be practical long term so if I were you I would be working on a plan to stop the rocking!

My plan would be having rough nap times during the day, napping every 2 hours sounds quite a lot for a 6 month old, maybe aim for one nap in the morning and one or two in the afternoon?

I would rock for 5 mins and put down, sit close by and pat. There will be some crying involved but you are right there with him. If the crying becomes hysterical repeat the 5 mins of rocking and putting back down. I would do this until he sleeps.

Also is his room dark for naps, having a blackout blind helped my dd nap loads!!

Will he sleep in the buggy/pram?

I still rock or feed by 8 month old dd to sleep for naps and bedtime. I've started using the sling as I've found her a bit heavy to rock in my arms. If I wasn't going back to work I'd carry on. But as she'll be starting nursery soon I need to get her used to going to sleep without me. I'm going to try 'gradual retreat' as can't bear the thought of cc.

Yanbu, it'll be fine! If you're tired maybe try cuddling to sleep in bed instead?

Could you lie back on bed propped up on pillows and hold him like that? tho if it's movement he likes maybe not. my ds fell asleep at night having bottle being held till two ish ... waslovely....

Still rocking and bf a 30 months old here :) personally I feel six months is far too young for cc.

''one of my favourite memories from when my son/daughter was a baby was listening to them scream as they learned to self soothe'' said no parent, ever.

YANBU and you're most certainly not making a rod for your own back. Babyhood is such a short period of time, it doesn't take long and then you're wistfully remembering the times they used to fall asleep in your arms. Treasure these moments because there are fewer things as nice as a trusting little human falling asleep on you.

18 months and it was lovely! The rod for your own back thing is bollocks, just old bags justifying their own choices by making you feel bad.

That's really fucking rude to Mothers' who offered an opinion due to their previous experience and how it panned out.

Old bags my twattin' arse!

Yes just stopping rocking and cuddling here and we are 2.7.

Did some CC with first and tbh I feel cripplingly guilty about it now.

So didnt do it at all with second.

It's so refreshing to hear everyone say "if it works for you and your baby just do it!" Making me feel loads better about some of the things I do.

Sorry to high jack the thread, but for those breastfeeding to sleep, how do you go out in the evenings? (Or don't you?!) I breastfeed dd to sleep somewhere between 8-8:30pm and so far it's not been an issue no social life. At the moment she won't go to sleep any earlier either. However I've been invited to a couple of weddings and not sure how I'll be able to get out of the house in time! Should I just accept that for the next however many months I'll be feeding and won't be able to do certain things? Or is there a way around it? I'm happy to breastfeed her to sleep so I don't mind in a way. She's 8.5 months.

Not sure if you said you've tried already, but can you have him in a sling and Rock so the weight is spread better and doesn't put so much strain in your back? Last thin you want is back problems when you've small child/ten to run around after. Also see a chiropractor or osteopath if you can for some stretching ideas to help

Fox I'm still BFing DS 3 times a day (ish) - morning, afternoon nap, and bedtime. I started going out one evening a week when DS was three weeks (taking my dog to a training class) and left DH in charge. Sometimes I'd come home and DS would still be awake, other times he'd be asleep.

Eventually I stopped going to that class as DS woke a lot in the night and I was too tired, but I still went out in the evenings - he went down fine for other people if I wasn't around. Boobs are a little uncomfortable sometimes but nothing major.

I think it really depends on whether YOU'RE ready, not your DC. If they are good friends I'm sure they will understand if you might turn up late.

Thanks LetThereBe I hadn't actually thought of just putting her down without feeding her! Does your DS then wake for an extra feed in the night if he missed his bedtime one? DD has just started sleeping through for the last few nights (I never thought I'd see the day!) so don't want to get her into the habit of waking lots during the night again

Some really good suggestions on here, but I'm afraid I haven't read them all so sorry if I'm duplicating.
My DD is only 4.5 months, but I was having to stand and rock exactly as you describe for each nap. My DH only was 'trusted' to do it recently because I was so convinced she would only go to sleep a certain way. Standing, chest to chest, dummy, lullaby CD, Ewan the dream sheep, and swaying/jiggling.
I also have a back problem and after a few long rocks where she didn't seem to want to go down for ages I tried this, when napping at home:
She gets put in her grobag. She gets a hug and a kiss, then put into the cot wide awake, I put the dummy in and turn Ewan on.
(She is in a bednest so the side closest to the bed is folded flat to the matress, wiith no gaps/ridges etc)
I lie on the bed alongside the bednest, and drape my arm sort of over her body, but with my hand propping the weight up so I'm not leaning on her. My other arm can either be stroking her face, or holding her hand stopping her from pulling the fucking dummy out then crying cos it's out
She then hugs my arm that is across her, and can touch my other hand or feel me stroking her.
The first time I did it she cried for about 30 mins off and on, and not her serious cry, just fussing. I think if it had gone on for longer than that, or she'd cried her serious cry, I'd have reverted to rocking. I've only been doing it for about 2 weeks - when at home, when out she sleeps in pram/car seemingly fine!
Today I did it in 10 and 4 minutes! It seems if I get the timing right (just tired enough, not too tired) she loves to cuddle my arm, if she gets upset I say It's ok, mummy's here etc etc and can kiss her.
It worked for me because I personally didn't want to leave her crying, but this way she's learning to go to sleep without being rocked and I'm not leaving her, she knows I'm with her.
I hope in time I can put her down and kiss her or just stroke her face and she can go off but for now this is working, and apart from the first few times when my back hurt from leaning awkwardly for 30 mins I feel it has already improved.
At night she is always BF to sleep. I have no idea how this is going to stop!!
Good luck!