to find Year 7s describing themselves as "bisexual" hilarious?

[jaws5]

My DD is in Y7. There are many kids in her year who are boasting to be bisexual on social media and at school. They are popular kids, mainly a big group of quite powerful girls, and they accuse many other kids of being homophobic. My DD says that they do it to be cool, and she doesn't get involved. At first I laughed and told her that it's absolutely fine to be gay, straight or bisexual, but that it's usually not that easy to know at 11/12. They also talk about depression and self harm as if it's a competition! I'm just glad that my DD still prefers Minecraft!

Whether it's true or not I'm glad they feel safe enough to. I certainly didn't

exactly - surely it's better being discussed

I still get told that by bisexuality is a phase. It's not my only interest so I don't get why you can't be bi and like minecraft

I do think it has become very fashionable for teenaged girls to have a lesbian/bisexual phase in the last few years. Not that it matters in the least, but years ago (like 30-35 years ago when I was a teenager) when it was still quite taboo only the absolutely gay-through-and-through girls came out and even they took a very long time about it - it was very rare for anyone at school to dare to come out.

Now that everyone is super cool with gayness and particularly with lesbianism, it seems to have become something teenaged girls try out for a bit, in the same way that they try out being a Goth or an Emo. And of course being teenagers they can't just get on with it quietly, they have to shout their new identity loudly and proudly from the rooftops in as attention seeking a way as possible, being utterly convinced that this is the way they will think/be/dress for life. Then many of them seem to just decide after a few years that they weren't gay (or indeed Goth or Emo) after all. That's fine - no biggie. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter what they are, or are not, does it? so long as they are happy and doing no harm.

And speaking of Emos, I also totally agree with you that self-harm is, for many teenagers, just something else that they try. Again, 30 years ago we'd sit in our bedrooms practising our serious face and writing excruciating poetry about how no-one understood us, but now they do that and then cut themselves for posterity as well.

There is a very certain type of kid who will probably experiment with self harming, and it's as much a part of the tribal identity as a nose piercing or a certain haircut might be. Obviously some teenagers who have self harmed really do have MH and self esteem issues that have led to self harming, but by no means all of them. Lots of kids just flirt with SH because it lends them an air of deep, tortured mystery.

Self harming is not, in isolation, a mental health issue. It is a coping mechanism. Young people who self harm but do not have a mental health issue are not necessarily doing it for attention or trivialising self harm related to mental health problems anymore than middle age people who post on FB about having a boozy night out are trivialising alcoholism.

And lots of people have periods in their life when they have issues - PND for example doesn't last forever, but I wouldn't refer to it as 'going through a phase.'

Teen identity is really important to them, social media is an important way they relate to each other, and there has been a big rise in mental health problems, anxiety and just general stress in girls of secondary school age. If they're getting support from each other, good. It's clear from this thread that a lot of adults are not people they can turn to about it.

As for bisexuals ending up in straight relationships, maybe they'll end up out of them and be in a gay relationship a decade from now. Because people change, often many, many times. Something being temporary doesn't make it less real.

I was born 30 years too late. I think it's great that children can be open about issues like this.
Ds said he was gay, aged 11. He seems to have a gf now but says that she and taylor swift are the only female possibilities.