To think this girl was rude & want to say something to her mother

[RinkyTinkTen]

Today I was driving out of my village and saw a girl (15) on her horse. I slowed right down to a crawl to let her pass, instead of thanking me, she threw me the filthiest look. I was on the phone(hand free) at the time, but if I hadn't have been, I'd have stopped and told her how rude she was.

The main reason I am so pissed off, is that I ride, my darling little horse is 4 and very good in traffic. I always thank people if they have made any sort of effort to slow down and give me a wide berth. Sometimes I can't take my hands off the reins, so do an exaggerated nod and pretty much yell thankyou.

When non horsey drivers pass rude riders like this, they may not bother to slow down next time and it might be me that ends up in the back seat of their car with my darling boy dead on the bonnet.

I've half a mind to either talk to her parents or drop a note through to them and telling them their daughter should wear hi-viz because if I ever found out my daughter behaved like this, I would sell her horse until she found some manners.

I also hate bad mannered people!

It doesn't take much to nod your head , she didn't need to raise a hand or wave to show her appreciation.

It is annoying, but let it go.
If you are worried about your own safety, get one of those "Please Pass Wide and Slow" tabards , (though some drivers would be right up your backside before they could read it)

If she doesn't follow basic manners, someone will set her straight, but I agree with Fenella , if you were talking on the phone, she might have thought you were giving her verbal abuse first?

Yanbu to feel she was rude. But I find I get less annoyed about things if assume there are some circumstances I am not aware of it and leave it at that. Simple fact is we only see things from our pov. If we could see the situation from the other persons pov we may feel completely differently.

I like to save my outrage for something more important

But what earthly reason would she have for throwing you a dirty look? I think you are mistaken OP

I have to say that wen I've ridden out and Ive had a car pass, I've never assumed they were giving me gyp just because their mouths were moving! I am too busy concentrating on my horse but not so much I don't thank them for passing me considerately. I always wear hi-viz when I hack out so am pretty noticeable!

I understand that there are many who think IABU, so will let it go, but I will buck the trend and say that I still feel she was rude not to acknowledge & thank me.

ffs what a fuss about nothing

how do you cope if you sit and allow a car out or to pass and they don't acknowledge you. Do you get a desire to find out where they live and speak to their family about their rudeness

I can't believe this is even worth giving a second thought to

Yabu.
I thought dirty looks and lack of gratitude that motorists haven't killed the rider is de rigger for equestrians?

Can honestly say in over 20 yrs of driving I have never had one of the buggers thank me. Plenty of spreading out over the road though.

I always think they rely on the fact that us motorists don't fancy having to deal with with a bolting horse on the road ...

In all honesty, people slowing right down around my horse make her very stressed as she perceives it as a threat. So I can see why she might be giving you a 'hurry up!' look.

Or, she could have been nervous.

Or rude :) but don't give it another thought.

Why should somebody be grateful for someone behaving in a way which is not likely to kill them? It's nice to thank people but it's not a rule.

It was always presented as such at summer pony club at my riding stables in the late 1980s

In those days, riding on the road was a dream!

In the nicest way, are you cut out for driving?

You seem a little - er - over sensitive.

You seem to be the type of person who does something kind and expects her gesture to be recognised and acknowledged.

And complain when you're not profusely thanked.

Try doing something without expecting anything back.

I don't think you should stirrup any trouble for her.

Well I'm with you OP. I've stopped the car to tell more than one rider that completely ignoring my efforts to pass slowly and widely is rude and gives all horse owners a bad name. It is courteous to acknowledge such behaviour by raising a hand or nodding. Those that don't would be the first to kick off at terrible and potentially dangerous drivers that sped past with no consideration.

She gave you a dirty look. Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa.

You stop the car to berate horse riders that they haven't given you due obeisance for not revving the engine while overtaking at speed????

And THEY are the ones giving horse riders a bad name?

That's my thinking too Dawn & Nelly, it's the further impact it has on other riders.

The thing is, I believe people already think horse riders are rich I wish and entitled.

I really would consider myself a kind & polite person and really would be upset if I found out my dd behaved like this. Manners cost nothing, but can mean everything.

Yes definitely tell her mum to take the horse away from her... do you want it to be a playmate for your darling little thing?

yanbu i'm an ex horse owner and hate when riders don' thank considerate drivers.

I agree this would annoy me OP although don't think you can say anything to the mum.

Riders who don't acknowledge drivers passing courteously do give the rest of us a bad name and it's hard enough already with the 'all riders are stuck up poshos' brigade. Unless the horse is playing up so much that it is impossible then a thank you is not difficult in the form of a wave, smile or nod. Maybe mention in passing has the kid done her Riding and Road Safety test.

The only thing that did cross my mind is that hands free kits can be very loud to outsiders; if you were passing very slowly and the speakers were loud that could have accounted for the 'look' if it unsettled her horse or she overhead any conversation she may not have liked?

Okay, sorry, you were going in opposite directions - that makes sense. So yes, dirty look or not, she was rude not to acknowledge and thank you. But then teens tend to rudeness. I don't think it's worth giving her the headspace to worry about it any longer.

Nellagain/Nelly
With all due respect, passing horses (and other animals) slowly and giving a wide berth (i.e. passing safely) is what is required of you as a driver- it is the law. It is not a favour you are doing to be really kind to the rider. We are relying on you obeying the highway code (and yes, I suppose most assume that drivers do not want to have accident/deal with a bolting horse on the road too).

Stopping to have a pop at the rider doesn't seem entirely sensible to me.

Failure to pass safely, as per the law, and causing accident as a result would in all likelihood lead to the driver being charged with either driving dangerously or without due care and attention (obviously that doesn't help the people involved). I know of one case locally where this happened.

That said, it would clearly be more polite for her to have acknowledged the OP. I try to remember to thank drivers who have slowed down, but I am sure there are occasions where I have forgotten or done so with a quick nod the driver may have missed! Lack of acknowledgement, whilst not ideal, does not excuse drivers passing horses dangerously. There is never an excuse for failing to drive safely, IMHO.

Nelly, you sound an absolute berk.

Do you berate other drivers for not thanking you for letting them out/giving way as well?

I'm going to hedge my bets here and say YABU.

I think a more accurate analogy would be:

"I braked as I approached a red light and came to a stop yet none of the other motorists thanked me for it! How rude! AIBU to track them down and demand flowers?"