To be a bit miffed at wedding gift to DSis...?

[Couchto5ktowine]

Ok, fully expecting to be told IBU but I need to air (if only to stop me doing so with DSis!)

So, I'm single, no DC, have a good career. While I'm not swimming in it, I am comfortable and own my own home. DSis and her fiancé rent, are less well off but aren't exactly on the breadline. (Sharing this as context)

Anyway, DSis is shortly getting married. They wanted to spend a week in a European city they both loved as honeymoon but couldn't afford it so I offered £350 as contribution, which would be my wedding gift. They accepted, I transferred money. I've now found out they've decided to do a week in a self-catered cottage in the UK. It's clear it will cost less than I've given them.

Now, I fully get I gave it as a gift and so I shouldn't stress about how it's spent. And if they'd fronted up with me and offered the difference back I would have refused. But but but... It just feels a bit uncomfortable...

AIBU?

I think they should have run it past you and YANBU to feel miffed.

However they will spend every penny of that and more on the cottage and transport to remote Scotland. They aren't going to make a profit on you. What time of year isthe wedding?

Haven't read the whole thread. Sorry. Why do you think a holiday cottage in remote Scotland will be cheaper than other options? That makes no sense.

Also you seem to see UK holidays as somehow inferior. I've done home and away and enjoyed both for different reasons.

YABU.

I would feel weird about it too. YANBU. I like to give the present I'm giving IYKWIM, and hate being asked for vouchers or cash. You thought you were giving them time in XCity and it turns out you weren't.

But in their defence, they probably couldn't face telling you how overbudget they've gone on the wedding. And it will have cost them more than £350 for the cottage. But actually, it would still irk me too.

They are busy, its being spent on a European non city break, big girl knickers required. At least she hasn't gone Bridezilla. Enjoy the Wedding!

I can sort of understand. We have a relative who is a,pretty girl but always wears dark drab clothes. For a special birthday we put together for a personal shopper experience with makeover, lunch and a voucher for clothes. We later found out she did not book a personal shopper and spent some of the voucher on a coat for her daughter! We were disappointed because we wanted to spoil her .

Well now your gift is even more special - you paid for their honeymoon accommodation - get your mum to ring ahead and pay for a bottle of champers to be left at the cottage for when they arrive - they will have a fantastic time all because of her lovely dsis.

If you're happy to give your Dsis and future Bil £350 as a wedding gift then think no more of it.

Is the problem that if they'd said their honeymoon would be a week in a Scottish cottage, you'd have gifted them £200?

Personally I'd like the thought that I'd contributed more of a percentage of their honeymoon.

We Have a small cottage in remote Scotland which is for holiday lets, it costs more than 350 a week...