To hate the language surrounding pregnancy?

[Tootsiepops]

Husband and I have been trying for a baby for bloody years. During that time, I've needed some additional support so have turned to a few parenting sites. Mostly, they have been helpful whilst in the thick of two years of infertility, invaluable whilst I was going through an ectopic and very informative during my ivf.

BUT - I bloody hate all the shit language that comes along with these things. Aunt flo? It's a period ffs. Doing the deed and baby dancing? Fuck off. And then fuck off a bit further. I've seen grown women refer to their vulvas / vaginas as minnies, minkies, cookies, nuns, and most recently 'foof'.

I was lucky and had successful ivf, but now that I'm pregnant, I have loads of new words that are making me cringe - mostly the pet names people have for their babies. Bean, bubs, bubba, little sausage etc..

And, why is it that when people speak to me now that I'm pregnant, they never say 'how's the baby?' or 'how are you?' - why is it now 'how's baby?' and 'how's mummy?'. Usually said in a sing-songy voice. Just no. Especially when the midwife does it.

AIBU to wish people would speak to one another like adults? Or am I just an unreasonable, hormonal mess? I'm prepared to accept that because of the length of time we've been trying to get pregnant, and the ivf, I've become very unsentimental about things and probably quite hardened, but I'm 35 damn it - I want adult conversation using grown up words.

Yabu. Let it go over your head if you don't like it. It never bothered me and I'm infertile with ivf too, I think the references to 'bean' etc are for when it's not a baby yet, helps some women a bit when they lose a pregnancy to think of it not as a 'baby' or it did for me.

Congratulations though!

Nope, I feel exactly the same. I may be pregnant but I have retained an ability to understand adult language. Things like Aunt Flo for period and Minnie for vagina are irritating. How do people so prudish about their body parts and functions manage to have sex er... do the deed at all?

you sound hard work!

Yanbu :)

But the. Again, I hate it when people talk baby talk to my 1yr old, like doggie, duckie, biccie!.... How is she supposed to learn what the actually word is?!

YANBU about all the cutesy twee words/names.

I cant get over the irony of your nick name though

Yanbu

Literally cringe at all those....plus a few others.

Hate any form of baby talk also. Heard someone offering chic chic nug nugs n chippis to their large toddler today

I'm not really a misery

Yeah!

I can relate to that depersonalised voice and the sing-songy one that some midwife's do.

Why do they do it??

Congratulations Tootsiepops, I will try not to let the irony of your username tickle me too much.

...and it doesn't stop with the condesending names, after the birth it gets worse!

Some things are too cutesy for me (baby dancing... wtf?) and I hate the "how's mum" stuff (at other medical appointments they manage to use my name) but the rest of it doesn't bother me too much. I use foof ironically and use dtd alongside shag, etc.

I had years of fertility treatment and eventually had a baby through IVF. I had had an earlier IVF MC and couldn't refer to the baby as a baby until she was actually here so she had a variety of twee names in utero.

if you want grown up words I would start by changing your user name! personally I have no problem with it. but if you don't like it then tell people then they can at least have the chance of changing their ways before you go into a hormonal rage. (and I understand hormonal rage as I am pregnant)

OMG yes, can I just add that I am not a "lady" thanks very much, and certainly not one of your "NCT girls" - seriously could anything make me look less like a girl than being 39 weeks pregnant?!

worra - busted! It's my husband's nickname for our cat Perhaps I need to have words with him too.

and congratulations!!

Yabu and getting wound up about something silly. Yes you can get angry as you want when you hear it but it's pointless isn't it? Are you going to stop people and tell them how to speak, probably not so just let it slide over you and move on.

YABU. Agree with pp who said you sound like hard work.

There was a thread on here about baby dust a while ago

I had not a clue

Thought it meant talc

Congrats on your pregnancy! Dropping the definite article when talking about 'the baby' used to fill me with rage; it still makes my teeth itch. I didn't discover parenting websites until after DS was born so missed out on a lot of the AF, BD twaddle which was probably a good thing for my blood pressure!

I must say I do find it mildly bizarre when the antenatal peeps refer to "baby", not "the baby" or "your baby". .

"Baby's fine." "Baby's heartbeat is strong." "Baby's moving well." And when they say it, they kinda give you this look, as though they have just turned into a small bird and need to point their beak at your nose.

I feel exactly the same - I'm nearly 12 weeks now and if someone tries to refer to "bubba" or me as "mummy" I may punch them. My vocabulary did not drop out of my uterus in order to make space for the foetus!

I also hate when people start going "sorry if TMI!" about perfectly ordinary pregnancy or baby related things. I mean, there's a lot of poo, gunk, blood, and whatnot, isn't there? I don't see the reason to apologise for it on top of having to deal with it.

If you want to get angry, get angry about the terminology used during labour and childbirth.

Failure to progress.
Incompetent cervix.
Poor maternal effort.
delayed cord clamping.

YANBU.

Overly twee language is deeply annoying and shouldn't be the default.

If you like it, there are many sites where it is the norm.

Mercifully MN isn't one of them. Welcome!

Urgh, don't get me started OP. Just waiting for the first adult to refer to me as 'mummy', instead of my name. I will be having a word with them. Baby dance is just yuck, as is making love. What is it about pregnancy and babies that make people lose all normal articulation?

'Overly twee language.... Mercifully MN isn't one of them'.

Is that meant to be ironic 'dear poster' .

The only time I've heard "foof" used before, it was dioxygen difluoride, which is a seriously nasty chemical, or a sound effect in a comic book. I find it very amusing that someone would use it as a euphemism for female genitalia.

Oh, and Prego is a brand of jarred pasta sauce. The word should not be used to mean anything else, unless you are speaking Italian.

I called my DD "squirm worm" when I was pregnant with her, because she squirmed so much on the ultrasounds (especially when the tech was trying to measure her, and yes it was a sign of a contrary temperament to come). I felt kinda bad because I couldn't think of a cute name for her. DS is now "kicker baby". What can I say, my background is in science and computing, we don't do cutesy names.

The things starlight mentions annoy me because they make women feel inadequate.

Apparently I was an elderly primip

The things op mentions, not so much.