To not want to be dragged onto the dancefloor

[balletnotlacrosse]

Despite my username I am a very self conscious dancer and prefer, at parties and weddings, to sit around chatting and drinking. Some people though seem to be absolutely convinced that anyone who isn't up dancing isn't enjoying themselves or is being a party pooper, and go around trying to drag reluctant people up onto the dance floor.

AIBU to start a thread stating that if people want to get up and dance they will, and if they don't then just leave them bloody alone

I hate the way people try and drag you up to dance. It's rude and presumptuous. I'm not perpetually trying to drag you into a chair in order to stop you gyrating against that pole, so stop trying to force me into an unwanted Macarena.

You are so not being unreasonable. Not all of us want to dance and it's incredibly tactless of people to try and make them.

Laughs at unwanted Macarena? Is there another kind?
I like dancing so IF I want to dance I will be already so no need for dragging.
If I am not dancing it's because I actually don't want to dance right now - seems to be a tricky concept for some people.

YANBU.

I am naturally quite shy, apart from bizarrely in the arena of dance. I am often the only one dancing, badly, stone cold sober on the dance floor. I just love it. But I would never drag anyone up who never wanted to go.

Maybe I'm imagining it but I always feel there's an underlying implication that you're being 'boring' or a 'wet blanket' when people keep trying to persuade you to get up and dance. Whereas in my view, it's the people who can't see that you're actually quite happy sitting around chatting and who try to break that up that are the ones throwing a dampener on things and spoiling people's enjoyment of the night.

I hate being forced to participate in anything. I like dancing and I like to sing, but I wouldn't dream of forcing people up onto a dance floor or karaoke or whatever.

Similarly, I don't want to take part in a poxy work rounders match. I'm bad at sport and I find it humiliating. Strangely, I don't find doing the running man to vanilla ice at all humiliating, but that's my prerogative.

There is an undercurrent of 'don't be so boring'. If they got on with their dancing, left me to get on with my chatting/watching/drinking/observing then surely we'd all be happy.

It's the ones who don't give in which drive me mad. 16yrs I've been with DH and MIL knows I don't dance. Every family party we go to, she tries to drag me up. Physically drag too. Multiple times in an evening. She likes the whole family to stand in a circle whilst dancing and then group hug. My refusal to join in means that I'm isolating myself from their ritual and therefore, an Outsider still. I'm doing them a favour tbh, guarding their bags and coats and drinks. I'm perfectly happy. It's a bit rude that they refuse to believe me.

" stop trying to force me into an unwanted Macarena. "

lol.
OP I totally agree!

Bags, coats and drinks have to be guarded at a family my party? What is kind of relatives do you have?!?

(Misses the point completely)

Ones who would otherwise put down their coats/bags/drinks and forget where they are...

I loathe it when people act as if you're personally denting their enjoyment of the night if you're not dancing. I'm talking about events when there's dozens of other people that are all up for it, but there's this one eejit who feels like they have to find the ones that aren't dancing and pick on them. It's stressful.

Completely OT too but last year at a family wedding I went and got a piece of chocolate wedding cake, plus a drink and placed them down on our table. I turned my back to sort out dd's dress and when I turned back, the waitress was tidying my bloody cake and drink away. THAT is what we're up against.

Yanbu at all!! I thought it was just me. There's just no way I can dance in front of anyone except 18m ds and I dread functions with dancing in case anyone tries to make me!

I know. I dread weddings for this very reason and am so happy I'm long past the age for night clubs, 21st parties etc.

This really pees me off when people think it's ok to grab my hand and try to drag me on the dance floor... I feel your pain

I was always keen on dancing in my youth. At one work Christmas party though (stretching "youth" to its limit, I was 37) I was imminently expecting DS4, overweight with it, and had had an operation on my foot a few days before so I was wearing one shoe and one medical sandal over a bandage. I still managed to get a bit of dancing done with judicious use of a walking stick, alarming some colleagues who thought I might give birth on the spot, but eventually - and with a view to having to limp to the station later on - had to collapse into a chair. Blow me, but people kept on trying to get me up to dance again...! I had to put my foot down firmly. (Just the one foot.)

I hate this too! So, so much!

My personal favourite was the mother of the bride marching round the gardens at a wedding, where there were loads of us all relaxing and chatting in the evening sun with some wine, and hissing "the dancefloor's DEAD in there!" and glaring at us.

All the people who actually wanted to dance were on the dancefloor already. Granted, there wasn't that many - but they didn't care - they were having a great time!

However, the whole group of us non-dancers were forced to head indoors, where my friend and I headed towards a table to continue our chatting and wine-drinking - I was then physically almost lifted off my feet to be dragged onto the dancefloor by another guest. Despite my having said 'no' politely three times.

What is wrong with people?! I am having a DJ at my wedding - if he plays his music to an empty room whilst every single one of my guests is lolling about outside/eating more cake/chasing the kids about instead of dancing, I will be chuffed they're all having a good time and not rounding them up to pretend they like dancing at weddings!

I know paperclip. By forcing people to dance, because she was afraid it looked like guests weren't having a good time, she was actually creating a situation where she was spoiling their enjoyment. Ironic!

I am intending to use my prolapsed disc as an excuse to avoid the dance floor long, long after it's better.

Unless it's Erasure. the truth is harder than pain insii-iide

I believe that it's an absolute defence to murder that the victim tried to drag you on to the dance floor.

As they grab your hand to drag you away, lean in to their ear, tell them calmly that if they lay a hand on you again you'll [insert violent threat of your own liking], then watch as they scarper.

You are all no fun

I like dancing like a mad stripper ...but not on my own

YANBU. I totally agree with everything you say. I love to dance SOMETIMES but I have to be in the mood and I have to like the music. I might have been dancing for half an hour straight and really fancy a sit down. I find being forced to dance to a really crappy song when I am not in the mood really, really annoying.

The thing is, BabyGanoush, it's polite to request. It's impolite not to accept the first answer given.

My worst nightmare is getting up to dance to something good and then the song changing to something with a really dreary beat that's impossible to dance properly so you just have to sort of bob up and down on the spot on a lame fashion, in a funny time signature.

Red red wine by UB40 is the absolute WORST song for this, and yet for some bizarre reason it never fails to fill the dance floor with women of a certain age.