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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a little disrespectful?

29 replies

Reignbeau · 23/04/2015 14:50

An acquaintance of mine died recently, I couldn't attend the funeral as no childcare but have asked a friend who was attending to pass on my condolences to the family. I've just seen on Facebook that someone who was actually at the funeral has checked in and tagged the deceased in the status Shock. AIBU to think this is distasteful and they could stay away from social media while at an actual funeral or is this just what happens now?

OP posts:
flora717 · 23/04/2015 14:51
Shock
MrsTedCrilly · 23/04/2015 14:54

Too far! So wrong.. Funerals are serious and respectful, tagging on facebook feels so cheap.

browneyedgirl86 · 23/04/2015 14:54

Shock yanbu!

I was at a funeral today, I haven't seen any of that on Facebook from any of the attendees. It's just in bad taste!

Only1scoop · 23/04/2015 14:55

Ffs some people have no class and zero morals.

Awful

Totality22 · 23/04/2015 14:56

One thing checking FB, but its another thing entirely to check the fucking dead person?

Totality22 · 23/04/2015 14:57

tag the dead person!

AuntyMag10 · 23/04/2015 14:58

FFS how bloody awful! Who does this! I hope some family member sees this and deals with them.

Trooperslane · 23/04/2015 15:01

Ffs. What is wrong with people? Sad

SoonToBeMrsB · 23/04/2015 15:02

That's horrendous! Shock

Debinaround · 23/04/2015 15:04

So out of order.

Some people are ridiculous.

SocialMediaAddict · 23/04/2015 15:05

That's awful.

Although my friend put a film of the coffin going into the ground on FB last week. I mean seriously what the fuck????

Dr0pThePirate · 23/04/2015 15:25

Sorry, i don't use FB. What does it mean if someone (the deceased here) is "tagged" in someones FB status?

SoonToBeMrsB · 23/04/2015 15:28

Dr0pThePirate

You can "check in" to a place, which publicly posts to your friends where you currently are. Tagging people also posts those who are with you at the place you've checked in at. So this person has publicly checked in at a funeral and tagged the deceased as being there with her.

VelvetRose · 23/04/2015 15:29

What???! I've heard it all now!

KoalaDownUnder · 23/04/2015 15:30

pirate, it's like notifying that person so they can see you've been somewhere. (In this case, their own funeral?!?Shock)

Absolutely horrible. What a tasteless moron.

Dr0pThePirate · 23/04/2015 15:35

Oh my God! Shock Are they thick?!

Any chance this is a very young person who thought it might be "symbolic" in someway? You know, maybe think it would be the last time they got to tag their friend?

timelyreminder · 23/04/2015 15:37

Another good reason to avoid FB.

expatinscotland · 23/04/2015 15:42

That's awful.

Original poster
Reignbeau · 23/04/2015 15:45

I don't know the person who has done the tagging, never met her and her profile pic is not of herself so no idea of age.

OP posts:
countrybump · 23/04/2015 15:48

I'm really shocked at that!

Theycallmemellowjello · 23/04/2015 15:49

Actually a very good friend of mine died tragically and his facebook
page became a repository for tributes and messages. Even now around 5 years later, people write there on his birthday and occasionally upload old pictures. Obviously none of this was meant disrespectfully and it appears to have been a comforting way for people to share their memories. Everyone grieves in their own way and I don't think that doing it on social media is necessarily disrespectful.

Tizwailor · 23/04/2015 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTedCrilly · 23/04/2015 15:59

Theycallme I think that's lovely and comforting.. having a public place to share messages. Totally different from tagging someone at their own funeral! You tag mates at the pub.

ghostspirit · 23/04/2015 16:00

jello i agree a friend died just over a year ago. and her fb page is open. its used toshare things with her. like how her children are doing and all the special things that happen in life. and its lovely to read.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/04/2015 16:03

When my lovely MIL died, in early December last year, I didn't talk about it on FB, apart from in a private group with some close friends. I didn't talk about it where anyone could see it, because I didn't want to run the risk of upsetting either my BIL, who is on there. I just felt it was something private, best not discussed on there, even though I know my friends would have been very comforting and supportive (and I needed that).