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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to walk 34 miles to work

84 replies

madasa · 22/04/2015 14:59

Instead of ever driving again.
Today I have narrowly avoided being crushed by a lorry.
Thanks go to the person in front of me who thought it was a good idea to join a motorway a literally 30 miles and hour. Extra thanks to the lorry driver on the inside lane who could see what was happening but wouldn't pull over to the middle lane so I could join.

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 23/04/2015 06:17

you have no idea if there was a small car right alongside the lorry as you wouldn't necessarily be able to see but irrespective of that it is not the responsibility of the lorry to create space for you to join the motorway as he is already on it and has priority.
for you to have nearly been "crushed" by it then you have been driving too fast and tried to squeeze into a gap that was no longer there instead of slowing or stopping and waiting for a gap big enough for you to join safely.

the driver doing 30 is annoying but you were irresponsibile imo

StrawberryCheese · 23/04/2015 06:47

I'm not a confident driver so I let DH do it and we are often on a small section of motorway to see his family. I will never forget the day when two camper vans were parked up on the slip road and then proceeded to turn on to the carriageway from a stationary position. How they didn't cause an accident I will never know.

When I was learning to drive I was told you should move lanes to let people off the slip road, or if you weren't able to do that, slow down a bit (or speed up) to give them space to get on.

zfactor · 23/04/2015 07:55

The 30mph down the slip road incident, I agree could be partly your fault; of course the other driver should have gone faster but you should have adjusted your speed much earlier on the slip road so that there was enough of a gap between you and the other car to enable you to accelerate to match the speed of the traffic on the motorway once the other car had joined. This might mean slowing right down before speeding up again if you’re too close to the car in front (ie you’re speeding up, but they aren’t), but this is safer than just continuing, and expecting the car in front to speed up, getting too close to it, and then trying to join the same small gap at the same time, at a lower speed than the speed of the traffic already in that lane.

The lorry does not have to move over to accommodate you - most will if safe to do so (lorry drivers are usually more willing to do this than car drivers) but it is really up to you to find a gap. When on the mororway and approaching a slip road, a good driver will be looking out for traffic wanting to join and be preparing to move over, checking mirrors for the position and speed of other traffic etc; a crap driver just sits in the lane oblivious to the slip road - sadly there are more crap drivers than good ones out there so you have to assume the traffic will not move for you. Also was the lorry a left-hand drive one? - if so, see below - the driver may not have known if there was anything in the next lane so didn’t move over in case he side-swiped a vehicle that he didn’t know was there.

The second incident you mention sounds like it’s more your fault/due to ignorance - you say ‘maybe’ the driver of a foreign vehicle couldn’t see you? - it’s very likely he definitely couldn’t see you! There is a blind spot which means drivers of left-hand lorries cannot see vehicles running alongside them. So, when passing a left-hand drive lorry, you need to be aware that the driver will have no idea you are there.

As you approach a lorry (any lorry), you should be looking out for the number plates (are they foreign, so is it likely to be left-hand drive?); can you see the driver in the lorry’s wing-mirror? (if not, the driver also cannot see you); what traffic is in front of the lorry (is the lorry likely to need to pull out imminently?).

You should not begin overtaking until you can quickly get past the lorry in one move - ie you should never run alongside it, so you should ease off if necessary (gradually - maybe just touching your brakes to put your brake lights on to warn the vehicle behind, if that vehicle is too close to you), to allow a large enough gap to open up between you and the vehicle in front before starting to overtake (you’ll still likely get some arse behind you who can’t work out why you’ve slowed though and will try to ‘push’ you along, but ignore them!). Once the gap is there and you’ve checked the road ahead (to check the lorry isn’t about to pull out), you accelerate and overtake the lorry as quickly as possible.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 08:08

YY look out for foreign lorry drivers and avoid them they can't see a thing it seems. One crashed into me years ago. I got their reg though as they drove off. British Police can do nothing though as they are foreign. Hmm

I will remember that next time I am driving abroad.....

Catsize · 23/04/2015 08:21

You should have stopped on the slip road. Having said that, other people's driving was less than ideal.
If you're going to start walking, don't walk along the motorway. Wink

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 08:22

Stopping on the slip road?

zfactor · 23/04/2015 08:27

No, you don't stop on the slip road!! (Catsize - please tell us you don't have a driving licence?!)

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 08:32

Phew. Thanks z.

Model5 · 23/04/2015 08:32

Part of driving well is dealing with others' driving. Yes, the lorry could/should have moved over (if it was safe) and the slow car shouldn't have been so slow (but who knows why they were?) but the slip road is there for you to adjust your speed to that of the road and those in front of you and find a space to slip into.

Don't stop on the slip road.

madasa · 23/04/2015 08:37

Thank you for the detailed driving lesson zfactor For your information I was passing the lorry in one move. He caught the very rear bit of my bumper when he pulled out. Can you show me where in the Highway Code it says that you should touch your brakes as you are overtaking on a motoway? I drive many miles a year so took and passed an advanced driving course a couple of years ago. I had motorway lessons which included overtaking....at no point was I told that it is a good idea to touch your brakes lightly when overtaking. Am very happy to be proved wrong as I think you continuously learn when driving.

wheresthelight you seem convinced that I didn't slow down, didn't read the road ahead...now that I don't know if there was anything in the outside lane next to the lorry (there wasn't).... how do you know all this? Now you were either the car driver on the slip road or you were in my back seat...or you might just possibly be psychic.

sparklingbrook that must have been scary. I was lucky, the lorry driver stopped. He could hardly speak any English except for 'sorry'. The police came, his paperwork was immaculate. His insurance company paid out promptly.

OP posts:
zfactor · 23/04/2015 08:49

OK OP, you know best. Continue to have near-misses until you kill yourself or someone else.

(But maybe learn to read properly).

Casimir · 23/04/2015 08:50

Yay, Live in London. Have personal driver. (Red Bus/Tube/Overground)

madasa · 23/04/2015 08:54

(gradually - maybe just touching your brakes to put your brake lights on to warn the vehicle behind

This is what I read Zfactor and all I asked was for you to show me where in the Highway Code it says that. I am genuinely interested.

Catsize you should not stop on a slip road unless in an emergency...that actually is in the Highway Code.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 08:56

I got a preprinted letter from the police with gaps filled in saying there was nothing they could do as the vehicle was foreign.
Lorry driver didn't even know he had hit me, afterwards I got breathalysed and spent the morning presenting my documents at the police station. Angry

Not happy umpteen years on, can you tell? Sad Grin

BabyGanoush · 23/04/2015 09:00

I have stopped on a slip road once,

I tried to join and sped up a bit to fit into a gap but the driver decided not to let me in and sped up too, so I slowed down to go in behind him instead, but he slowed down too, he looked at me and grinned.

I think it was a sport to him.

Never had it before or after.

It was not funny

madasa · 23/04/2015 09:00

Sparklingbrook I did detect you are not happy yes Smile

Casimir I think you have got the right idea

OP posts:
madasa · 23/04/2015 09:05

BabyGanoush...I think in those circumstances I would have stopped or gone on to the hard shoulder. You are not allowed to do either except in an emergency. I would consider that situation an emergency

OP posts:
zfactor · 23/04/2015 09:09

OP - You need to read to the end of the sentence - '...if that vehicle is too close to you.'

(sometimes, other drivers don't drive in accordance with the HC, so you have to use your initiative; if they are driving too close, chances are they also aren't paying attention, chances are, if you slow, they won't, and then they could hit you - touching your brakes merely to light up your brake lights will hopefully alert them to the fact that you are slowing down - but clearly this is only necessary if the car in front of you has slowed and therefore reduced the distance between you, or you are driving too close to that vehicle for the road speed/conditions).

easterlywinds · 23/04/2015 09:13

If I'm on a slip road and the car ahead is going 'too slow', I Usually slow right down so I get some distance between me and the vehicle. This usually means I can accelerate really hard to get my speed back up and get into a space further back. So in your situation I may have slipped in behind the lorry instead.

sanfairyanne · 23/04/2015 09:23

the most annoying drivers are the ones who move from the middle lane into the lane and space i am trying to get into from the slip road
that really gives me the rage

SouthernComforts · 23/04/2015 09:26

I don't use motorways very often. I live next to a notorious junction. There are crashes there 3-4 times a week. The main issue is people popping to do their food shop and getting onto the motorway for 1 junction, and driving the whole way at 30-40mph. It's a steep hill so the lorries are then desperately trying to move over so they can get up it. Carnage every day.

I agree with pps about motorway lessons. A new driver is used to stopping and waiting for a gap to join the road and has probably never driven over 30mph if they live in a town/city. Expecting them to instinctively know how to use a fast motorway is a recipe for disaster!

Catsize · 23/04/2015 09:30

Stopping on a slip road is last resort but preferable to causing a collision on a motorway by blindly pulling out when there is insufficient space.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 09:38

This thread makes me want to check the 'avoid motorways' box on the Sat Nav every trip.

Cadenza1818 · 23/04/2015 09:42

Can i just point out though that you do not have priority on a slip road. Yes it's bad for to do 30 and the lorry should have pulled over but if it's not safe to join then it's your responsibility

Catsize · 23/04/2015 10:02

Thank you cadenza, but it seems we (and The Highway Code) are wrong.