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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissing in the gutter.

38 replies

KindergartenKop · 21/04/2015 21:04

I was in a shop today and I bumped into a friend and her 3 and a half year old child. Child announces she needs a wee so mum takes her out of the shop and lets her wee in the gutter. If it's relevant, child has been potty trained since 14 months.

Aibu to think that weeing in the gutter is wrong, unless you're pissed? Disclaimer, my dc are both still in nappies. I'd quite like to hear that this is acceptable as it could make potty training easier!

OP posts:
hospitalworry · 21/04/2015 21:06

If potty trained and a 3 yr old I don't think it is acceptable

onepieceoflollipop · 21/04/2015 21:07

I don't like it much, not very dignified for the child. Also at what point/age do you then put a stop to it.
With my dcs I always felt that if they were ready to be toilet trained, this included being able to wait 5 minutes at least for a toilet. Different in a genuine emergency or unwell or miles from a toilet.
I have friends with boys who would let them wee indiscriminately in bottles, gutters, hedges etc and for some this would go on for months/years.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/04/2015 21:09

I've done it after a bellyful of Thunderbird,but my dc's never have.
I find a toilet if they want a wee.

peggyundercrackers · 21/04/2015 21:09

In the middle of a street or town or whatever then no I wouldn't but if it was the countryside or somewhere very quiet then I wouldn't have a problem with a child doing it. Adults definitely no, not even when drunk.

TheEmpressofBlandings · 21/04/2015 21:13

My dc have wee'd in the gutter a few times if we're far from a toilet and it's basically that or they wet themselves. Where would be better in that situation?

PacificDogwood · 21/04/2015 21:14

I'd rather have any number of 3 year olds wee in the gutter than drunks tbh.

Really does not bother me

ApocalypseNowt · 21/04/2015 21:14

Do people not do this any more? I definitely have memories of being dangled over gutters when i was very little - near some shops but no toilets anywhere so I guess my parents were worried that i wouldn't make it home. Or maybe they were just common.

I've been out with DD1 before when she's needed a wee and we've ducked behind a tree or something. It's not something i can get that worked up over tbh.

Original poster
KindergartenKop · 21/04/2015 21:16

It was in the middle of town. It was also the first time the child asked, mum didn't even consider taking her somewhere to find a loo.

OP posts:
passmethewineplease · 21/04/2015 21:17

Was there a toilet nearby?

I'd rather they have a wee out side then wet themselves tbh.

Sometimes children have a habit of telling you they need the toilet seconds before they actually wee. looking at you DD

Original poster
KindergartenKop · 21/04/2015 21:21

Loo was 5-7mins walk away.

OP posts:
ImNameyChangey · 21/04/2015 21:21

Some parents get stuck in certain developmental stages...my friend continued to change her son's nappy in front of room fulls of people...when h e was over 4! We're talking laying him down on his back like a baby, wiping his shitty arse and putting a clean nappy on!

He was late to potty train but still! I'd have removed him from the room...I did try to mention something now and then...but to no avail.

I couldn't fathom it as she was and is in all other ways perfectly reasonable and polite.

MrsKoala · 21/04/2015 21:23

I'd happily let dc wee in the gutter till they are about 5. I remember being dangled too Apocalypse.

TruJay · 21/04/2015 21:34

I've done this with DS, if you're nowhere near a toilet and trust me sometimes they will tell you seconds before they HAVE to go you don't have a choice, well you do, they can wet themselves. As your child grows you learn their cues of showing they need the loo and how long you have until they must go and you work with it.
The only time I let DS wee somewhere other than a toilet now is when we go walking, sometimes 2/3 hours and there are no toilets at the locations we go to. I don't bat an eyelid if someone's letting their small child wee in public, been there done that, sometimes they really can't wait and when you know they can you find a loo.
Once you start to potty train this will become apparent, it can be an unpredictable time, the little monkeys.
I imagine it's a lot easier with a boy though as you just point it where it needs to go, dd still in nappies so not sure how easy emergency wees will be with her just yet.

NeedABumChange · 21/04/2015 21:41

Unacceptable. A 3yr olds piss is just as minging as an adults piss. I don't want any of it in the street nor see anyone pissing. It's disgusting.

BullshitS70 · 21/04/2015 21:43

Oh for goodness sake. A kid tells you they need a wee with moments to spare. What are you going to do? Let them piss themselves, or let them wee in the gutter? Its a simple as that.

OP, wait till your are out of nappies and then judge.

FWIW, my 7 year old still gives us no warning when in the park that she needs a poo. Guess what we do? YOU HAVE NO CHOICE

thatsn0tmyname · 21/04/2015 21:45

My son has been out of nappies for a year but he wees in the gutter if caught short. We try and be discrete and occasionally do it in a car park behind the car door.

Bragadocia · 21/04/2015 21:46

I'd rather a bit of 3 year old child's wee in the road outside my house than the vast, pungent streams of dog urine that proliferate round here. I vote nappies for dogs.
It's not ideal, but it just can't be helped sometimes. If you're in a suburban area, there are often neither toilets within 20 minutes' walk, nor anywhere discreet such as you might find rurally. So what can you do when your child gets the sudden urge.

CherriesAndSlippers · 21/04/2015 21:49

I'd have no problem with it. I had dd ( nearly 5) behind a tree in the park last week.

I really hate calling it pissing though.

EastMidsMummy · 21/04/2015 21:49

Good God, he's 3 year's old! Of course it's acceptable for a 3 year old to wee in the gutter if he's desparate. Would you rather he pissed himself?? Hmm

PtolemysNeedle · 21/04/2015 21:51

If it was in the middle of town, YANBU. It's easy enough to plan a trip round town to include toilet stops. I realise that occasionally people will get caught short, but I think it's disgusting for people to think of this as a normal way to allow their child to wee.

squoosh · 21/04/2015 21:55

Aibu to think that weeing in the gutter is wrong, unless you're pissed?

That made me Grin

squoosh · 21/04/2015 21:57

Better to piss in a gutter than to wet their pants but better again to look for somewhere a bit more discreet.

dementedma · 21/04/2015 21:58

Would rather a 3 year old did it than a pissed adult.

AmyElliotDunne · 21/04/2015 21:59

5-7 minutes walk when a 3 year old needs a wee = wet trousers in my book.

Fwiw my dd had to poo over a drain in the gutter once as she was bursting and couldn't make it to the nearest loo. I walked as far as I could with her to get away from any houses and had to poke it down with a stick

I was mortified, but the alternative, driving her home in a pair of pooey trousers, was much worse than the humiliation of her pooping in public, for both of us.

TenerifeSea · 21/04/2015 22:00

YABU, small children have small bladders. Unfortunately, they don't tell you when you need a wee, they usually tell you when they need a wee NOW.