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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give this woman any further lifts to work?

66 replies

officermendez · 21/04/2015 14:50

I work in a town approximately 20 minutes from where I live. Recently one of my colleagues has moved to my town, and so now has to commute to work. She doesn't drive so her husband takes her to work, but when she first moved she asked if I would mind giving her the occasional lift to or from work. I said I didn't mind occasionally but didn't want to get into any regular arrangements.

On Sunday night she contacted me and said that her husband was working from home on Monday and would I mind giving her a lift to work. I agreed and she suggested that I met her in the car park of a pub near her house as I wasn't sure where her house was. Again I said that I would.

So yesterday morning I drove to pick her up, which actually means going out of my way by several miles. Got to agreed meeting place 5 minutes early, no sign of colleague. Waited and waited. After 10 minutes I called her, and she said she was just about to leave her house but assured me she would be 2 minutes. She was another 20 minutes! I phoned her twice during that time and she said she was literally 2 seconds away, but she clearly wasn't! And she didn't apologise when she did arrive, nor thank me for waiting!

We were then obviously late for work, and I had to stay late to make up the time I'd been in late as my manager is a stickler for this. I started the day feeling very stressed and wasn't able to prepare my work properly for the day due to the lateness.

Last night said colleague then had the cheek to ask me for a lift again today and I said no, as I didn't want to be late again. Presumably her husband brought her in but she has done nothing but moan all day to others about how unfair and mean I'm being, and that I'm "going her way anyway".

I'm standing firm though! AIBU?

OP posts:
Jackie0 · 21/04/2015 15:48

Your totally in the right

123Jump · 21/04/2015 15:48

It wasn't really medical the weight gain as the teacher told her but was greed and due to overeating due to loneliness. The woman sadly didn't want to diet/get gastric bands etc...
Hmm Nice.
OP, YANBU, she is a rude cow. And a few miles out id not "on your way".

expatinscotland · 21/04/2015 15:50

I'd report her to the manager, tbh. BIG cheek to moan about it and I would make it absolutely firm no more lifts. I would counter all her moans, too. 'I've been reprimanded for being late when I got to our rendezvous point five minutes early so no, no more lifts.'

MrsDeVere · 21/04/2015 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emotionsecho · 21/04/2015 15:54

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but you should have left when the 2 minutes became 5.

DinosaursRoar · 21/04/2015 15:58

YANBU - you gave her a chance, she blew it. Some people who don't drive don't seem to get that other people don't have to give them a lift, and that it is an inconvience. (Thankfully, most non-drivers aren't like this and do understand it's a favour you don't have to do).

She chose to move to a place that means she's now dependent on other people helping her get to work. Not driving does limit your life options, including meaning you can only live in areas with decent public transport links or walking distance to everywhere you need to go, assuming most people realise that otherwise they will be reliant on other people's good will or very isolated.

TedAndLola · 21/04/2015 16:05

YANBU and well done for saying no. Tell her, in front of everyone that she's moaning to, that you can't risk her making you 30(?) minutes late for work again and it's several miles out of your way. That should shut her up.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 21/04/2015 16:08

Y
A
N
B
U
Shock the cheek of some people!

definitely tell anyone and everyone why you were late and won't give her a lift anymore - and do not let her guilt trip you into giving her another chance.
I always made sure I was 5 mins early when relying on a lift, it is just manners. A genuine emergency on her first day of getting a lift would have been very unlucky but she could have apologised profusely and explained if that was the case.

am loving the term "liftzilla" though!

VixxFace · 21/04/2015 16:31

Feel like I read this before. .

123Jump · 21/04/2015 16:56

Vix there was a mahoosive thread that went on for ages re:crazy girl at want demanding lifts from OP.

IamLiftZilla · 21/04/2015 17:05

YABU how am I meant to get to work now?

MadameJulienBaptiste · 21/04/2015 17:15

Yanbu.
Years ago as a trainee I got a lift everyday from much older colleague. Another half mile along we would pick up another trainee. We were both 16 so no option of driving and it was 3 buses by public transport.
We paid him about half the cost of a weekly bus pass, he didn't have to go out of his way at all, just stop briefly outside both houses and it took 1/3 the time. Win win for all.
I was always standing in our porch or outside, a few mins before he was expected. As soon as he appeared at the corner I'd be out to be at the kerb when he stopped.
The other girl who was picked up 5 mins later than me was never ready. Every bloody day she kept him waiting outside for a good 5 mins while her sister or parent came out to report that days excuse. 'She can't find her shoes' etc.

after 3 weeks he said it wasn't working for him and declined to give either of us a lift any more Angry
I am happy to give people lifts myself, or car share, but if they're not there on time I just keep driving.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/04/2015 17:17

Lol at liftzilla. op's not your keeper. Or your shagger.

bobbywash · 21/04/2015 17:28

Wasn't the previous thread (which was very very similar) a spoof or something.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 21/04/2015 17:35

Yanbu. She made you late. Don't give her another chance to do it again.

Did she also have to make up the time?

PHANTOMnamechanger · 21/04/2015 17:49

in response to LiftZilla How Am I gong to get to work....

on yer bike mate!

literally or metaphorically! Grin

IamLiftZilla · 21/04/2015 18:00

phantom but that might mess up my hair. Besides, I'm entitled.

Grapejuicerocks · 21/04/2015 18:19

Just mildly correct her when she moans to others.

Effendi · 21/04/2015 18:42

I occasionally give a colleague a lift home if she works late. Buses are shite.
It's kind of on my way, so I don't mind too much. I wouldn't like it to be an every day arrangement though.

ptumbi · 21/04/2015 18:54

Previous liftzilla took lifts, was never on time and didn't offer petrol money (the excuse was that she 'needed the money for christmas'!) Shock

She also bad-mouthed the op at work.

Went on for ages, but the op milked it a bit, making stuff up, and the thread was pulled.

londonrach · 21/04/2015 18:57

Yanbu!!!! Id have sent a message on the day in question im really sorry but i will be leaving in 5 minutes as i have to get to work. 5 minutes to the time id have gone. Cant believe you waited 20 minutes for this cheeky woman. Did you tell your boss and work colleagues what happened. Did cheeky woman give you money towards petrol. Stand firm you have the weight of mn behind you and common sense...

pluCaChange · 21/04/2015 18:58

Well, no-one else is going to give her a lift now!

FishWithABicycle · 21/04/2015 19:00

YANBU.
I think the last liftzilla thread wasn't completely made up, but the op was clearly exaggerating the drama due to enjoying the attention and feeling that the truthful petering-out was too boring to report.

OTheHugeManatee · 21/04/2015 19:03

Another liftzilla Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2015 19:03

Lift threads usually follow the same pattern, you get people taking the piss like this all the time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread