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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little concerned...

61 replies

KindergartenKop · 21/04/2015 13:22

About my friend. She's just got engaged to her boyfriend but have only been together for 6 months. Is that really fast or am I being weird?

OP posts:
Tangofandango · 21/04/2015 17:07

We got engaged after 5 weeks, married 6 months later. Yesterday was our 41st anniversary

Mamus · 21/04/2015 17:07

We moved in together after two months, were engaged three months after that and have been together eleven years now :)

SoonToBeMrsB · 21/04/2015 17:20

My parents were married after a year and they just celebrated their 30th anniversary.

TedAndLola · 21/04/2015 17:21

One time I had a feeling a colleague liked me, and when we were alone in the staff room he asked if he could ask me something. I thought he was going to ask me on a date, but he asked me to marry him. Totally normal in the culture he grew up in! His brother had an arranged marriage, as did many of his friends.

I negotiated him down to a date but I did accept his proposal a few months later. We were married within six months and now we're approaching our fourth anniversary.

Totality22 · 21/04/2015 17:24

Shacked up within a few months. Now a decade and 2 DC down the line.

hidingfromthem · 21/04/2015 17:25

i think 6 months is too soon. IMHO. before i get flamed.
i guess it's no-one else's business, but of course she's your friend so naturally, any friend would have an opinion on this.
when people rush in that quick, i always think 'what's the big hurry?'
and then i'm reminded of my DF's saying; 'marry in haste, repent at leisure'.
Grin
probably best to say nothing and let them get on with it.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 21/04/2015 17:28

We were engaged after 5 months. Still together after 19 years. Why would you be concerned if she is happy?

Katnisnevergreen · 21/04/2015 17:32

How do people plan weddings so quickly?? People getting married withonths of meeting I mean- I have to book my venue in May for the next years august... Ditto caterers etc...
I'm quite jealous of these speedy weddings

quietasamouse · 21/04/2015 17:44

It's fairly quick, but there'll certainly have been quicker!

Some people who waited years before marrying divorce within a year, so I guess there is no certain guide to success.

TheWildOnes · 21/04/2015 18:04

Me and DH were engaged within 6 months, married within 18 months. We are up to 10 years and all is good so far.
plenty of people wait to get engaged and still end up divorced.

LadyTmalia · 21/04/2015 18:23

Met my hubby in July when I was 19, engaged by November, pregnant in May, married in August (so just after a year) We have been together now for nearly 20 years.

Like others have said, sometimes it just happens and feels natural.

SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 18:27

I moved in with a boyfriend once 7 months after we met. From another country. We'll have been married for 9 years this year (together for 14)...

Sometimes things just work out that way.

ginmakesitallok · 21/04/2015 18:29

We got engaged after 2 months. 21 years later, still together, still not married!

Flugdrachen · 21/04/2015 18:31

dh & I were married pretty much 9 months after meeting for the the first time (17 years ago!). Engaged after 6 months sounds perfectly reasonable to me - I don't think I could spend 6 years deciding whether or not I wanted to marry my partner!

hairypaws · 21/04/2015 18:33

We got engaged after 3 months and are still together 17 years later Smile

SpringBreaker · 21/04/2015 18:37

Engagements can be broken off if it doesn't work out, getting pregnant before you really know a person is the daft thing to do

Petradreaming · 22/04/2015 07:00

Moved in with DH within 2 weeks. Married 9 months later. 20 years this September. ??

SandysMam · 22/04/2015 11:00

I sometimes think it's worse when people get married after a long time together (ten plus years). Not saying all but know some who have done this and then split up within a year...the wedding being the last ditch attempt to stay together. At least she is having the highs of a whirl wind, hopefully it will last but if not, sure u will be supportive and definitely not be saying "I told you so"!!

Sianilaa · 22/04/2015 11:09

I got engaged after 3 weeks.

Moved in together after 8 weeks.

Pregnant at 6 months together.

Married on 10 month anniversary of our first date! Have been happily married for 8 years now.

I lost friends over how fast we did it. Some were incredibly unkind and then said if I went through with this "joke" of a marriage and went on to actually have the baby then they would have nothing more to do with me. Very much their loss and not mine, and I am still stumped almost 10 years later as to why it bothered them so much. I'd take my lovely DH and 2 DSs over them a million times over!

There's being a good friend and expressing a concern kindly - such as, "I'm happy for you but it is fast, are you absolutely sure?" and then accepting the answer. But ultimately, it's not your business and not your right to express an unasked-for negative opinion.

desperatedino66 · 22/04/2015 11:24

Got engaged after about two weeks, still engaged 15 years later.

Groovee · 22/04/2015 11:28

I got engaged 9 weeks after meeting she. We have been together 18 years, married for 16.5 years and still happy.

Psipsina · 22/04/2015 11:33

Is there anything else about the relationship that is concerning you? Because it isn't about the length of time particularly, it's a bit more subtle than that. Do you know the guy - do you like him?

madasa · 22/04/2015 12:52

Engaged after 3 months....just about to celebrate 6 years together

madasa · 22/04/2015 12:53

That should say 8 years!

londonrach · 22/04/2015 12:56

Grandparents meet at a dance when they were both 21. My grandad told his brother he was going to marry my gran. Took her a couple if weeks to realise he might be right. Didnt spend a night apart until then died at 88 days from each other. Now that was a love match made in heaven..

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