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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what are the biggest differences once your children start school?

87 replies

CaptainFabulous · 21/04/2015 13:08

DD is starting school this year and it feels like a weird mix of 'she can't go, she's my baby!' and 'oh thank god'.

So I thought I'd ask you all, what are the positive and negative differences you've found once your children have started school? I can only think of practicalities just now.

Positive
She'll learn how to read (exciting)
Less clothes required
Childcare costs come down, thank god
She will have loads of pals already from nursery and can make more

Negative
I'll have to finally give in and start ironing uniforms...
Homework (urgh)
Tiredness
No more nice afternoons together after nursery
The cliques, bullying, the playground...

These might be way off base, I've really no idea!

OP posts:
drinkscabinet · 21/04/2015 19:18

I think they need more clothes because you need uniform AND normal clothes. DS is still only 2 and he goes to no activities because I don't want to have any more trips out after the school run twice plus DD1 has swimming after school.

I love them learning so much, DD1 in particular comes home and tells us the entire lesson plan for the day and what they learnt. Her being so chatty about what they do really makes me appreciate the teachers, they are so creative and are teaching such fantastic stuff (last year she had a brilliant lesson about John Cage). And she's a real bookworm now which is lovely, she has been known to spend entire days reading, much to her siblings disgust!

morethanpotatoprints · 21/04/2015 19:22

My Teacher says

this is all I heard for ages, and often followed by miss says we can't do that
or miss will tell you off if she sees you doing that

poocatcherchampion · 21/04/2015 19:28

Oh this thread makes me feel sad I shouldn't have clicked on it dd1 just came back from her first full afternoon at Pre-School and said that there was no loo roll and she hated French. (There was French). It made me lol.

She sounds like a teenager!

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 21/04/2015 19:34

I really struggled with dd1 going to school, trying to forget dd2 will be starting next year Sad

  • she was really knackered, grumpy and didn't want to do anything when she first started. this still happens now she is in yr 1 but mainly just in last few days of term. so sometimes we have weekends with nothing planned otherwise she is a megagrump!!
  • they pick up words/phrases and habits you rather they didn't.
  • lots of money required for various charity days/afterschool clubs or things they 'need'
  • lots of reading (every night here) and homework.
  • short notice for activities or school events.

However my dd has grown up massively, she has made so many friends and is doing fantastically at school despite her saying she hates it! Grin

QuiteQuietly · 21/04/2015 19:36

I thought I would get so much more done in life without them under my feet. But no. School is very time-consuming (school runs, meetings, homework, filling in the gaps) and while I wouldn't wish any more school hours on anyone, it is quite a short day and a not-insubstantial chunk of it is wasted on logistics. I had envisaged a future of doing a bit more paid work and housework and perhaps even having a bit of child-free leisure during the day. Strangely the holidays are a lot easier and I get much more done (as well as having more fun with DC).

KERALA1 · 21/04/2015 19:39

I am not normally a weepy wuss but after dropping dd for her first ever morning at schoolwith big smiles I ran home and sobbed for an hour. Just was the end...of our lovely relaxed pre school life. It is marvellous and exciting but allow yourself to grieve a little (in secret of course) that a lovely and special era is over.

Oh and on no account listen to abba slipping through my fingers in early September. Kills me every time...

ashtrayheart · 21/04/2015 19:42

I have 2 teens and two young ones, my youngest is off to school this September. Having 2 more has made me cherish the young years (doesn't mean they don't drive me mad but I'm not wishing the time away) because I know how quick the time goes.
It's a new stage but there are good bits too and it's lovely seeing them learn so much in such a short space of time Smile

Molotov · 21/04/2015 19:51
Sootgremlin · 21/04/2015 19:52

This thread has just knocked me sideways. Not ready for him to go yet Sad

Molotov · 21/04/2015 19:52

*feckers, not fe jets!! Confused Blush

Fleecyleesy · 21/04/2015 19:55

If you are ironing school uniform then you've bought the wrong stuff. Seriously! I've never ironed a single piece of girls or boys uniform in 6 years.

Yarp · 21/04/2015 19:56

Saucy

It's interesting you say that. I didn't find the pottering of toddler days as halcyon as all that. It too was full of repetition and frustration. I was a SAHM until mine went to school so maybe that was it. An opportunity to miss them a bit was good.

Soot

They don't 'go'. They just grow up. It's good that they do. They get to be their own selves, with help and support from people outside their families, as well as you.

Sootgremlin · 21/04/2015 20:12

I have been thinking that way, yarp. Even looking forward to it for him. He will love it, I know.

Reading these posts though it just hit me it's actually happening, had my first little cry. Feeling like I need to appreciate these next months more, not waste it stressing about little things and telling him to either hurry up or wait a minute Sad

starfish4 · 21/04/2015 20:17

You will have a very proud and tearful first day - we took photos of our DD before she left for school.

Our DD wasn't tired at all despite being the youngest in the year, so be warned! She came out of school every day expecting to do something else rather than come home, so I had to make sure I had trips to the playground, local café or play dates set up.

They don't actually get that much homework, but in reception they often need you to be around to facilitate it, ie going through letters and sounds with them, listening to them read, so that's one way of spending time together and seeing progress.

The most fantastic thing for me was the lovely Mums I met - we still get together and even though our DCs have gone different ways at secondary school, we are all still in touch and I know any of them would do anything for me and vice versa.

CaptainFabulous · 21/04/2015 20:20

Finding this thread equally scary, sad, exciting and touching. Smile

OP posts:
Sootgremlin · 21/04/2015 20:21

That's lovely starfish and quite reassuring re tiredness. Ds was good for nothing after starting preschool in sept, but he is much more resilient now so hoping we will have nice times still after school.

DrCoconut · 21/04/2015 20:22

Childcare becomes much more difficult with school age children. Nursery is much more flexible and convenient. Yes to being expected to attend random events at a days notice. This time I will be on maternity leave and have (officially) about 2 weeks to go till DC3 arrives when DS2 starts school. DS1 starts college the same week so all adventures!

PtolemysNeedle · 21/04/2015 20:36

I really missed going to some of the little groups we used to go to and the easy hours at empty soft play places, and I missed pre school as it was so lovely there and they were always inviting parents in for one thing or another.

It was strange when they started talking about things I knew nothing of, but I grew to really enjoy that and now I love it when my teenagers are more knowledgeable then me about things. Seeing them learn and progress so quickly was amazing. It was also when I started working more than one day a week, and it was nice to rediscover that side of life as well.

Xmasbaby11 · 21/04/2015 20:42

Is it less of a change if you work full time?

vallinnapod · 21/04/2015 20:52

I think DS will love it and despite being the youngest in the year I think he is ready. I am no way ready and am fully prepared to cry all day Wink

School holidays scare the crap out of me. DH works full time and I work 4 days. How the hell do we cover holidays Confused (I am fully aware we will manage like countless others out there but it keeps me awake at night!)

BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 20:54

I am really going to miss Ds 2 as he is such a pleasure and loves hanging out with me at home.

DS1 was so much more ready.

Positive change for DS1: I couldn't stimulate him at home any more, he is very active mentally and physically.

He started reception barely able to write his own name and less than 2 years on he has beautiful joined up writing.

I have made some great friends!

The negative side is that they do pick up bad habits. We are a fairly well spoken family so whenever my son says 'tweny' instead of 'twenty' I hate it!

I caught him spitting in the floor the other day, I went crazy and I very much doubt he will do it again, but he said that his friends do it.

That is very gutting when you try to teach your child to have manners.

Taytocrisps · 21/04/2015 21:02

DD started in a crèche when she was 6 months old (we got 18 weeks paid maternity leave in Ireland at the time - now it's 24 weeks). So when she started school, it wasn't such a big step for me.

The main difference was that she was moving on to a learning environment - she'd be learning the three Rs. She wouldn't be babied as much as she was in her crèche and the teacher would expect her to be a bit more independent.

She would also be making new friends although she was friends with a few of the girls already from crèche (and they're still friends now).

In some ways it was pretty much what I expected. I didn't expect the homework to kick in so quickly (second week of Junior Infants Sad ).

I had to be a little bit more organized on my days off (I worked part-time). No more lazy mornings in my dressing gown. We had to be up and dressed and on time for school. I had to keep an eye on the clock when it got near to collection time. I had to remember which days were P.E. days and put out her tracksuit those days. Her uniform the other days. I had to remember when she needed money for various activities or fundraisers. Or if she needed consent forms signed for various things e.g. school trip. I had to make sure DD put everything back in her schoolbag after she did her homework - pencil case, ruler, copy, worksheet etc. They're a bit scatter brained at that age or maybe that's just DD.

I had to be a bit creative when it came to packed lunches and consider stuff like whether I needed to give her an ice pack in her lunch box on hot sunny September or June days.

I never anticipated so many birthday parties or how much of my disposable income would be spent on kids' birthday presents!

I probably needed more clothes rather than less clothes as she wears her uniform to school and changes into regular clothes after school so she doesn't spill her dinner all down her uniform. I find I've less washing during the holidays as she's only wearing one set of clothes each day.

I've never ironed her uniform. If you hang the items carefully on an airer they dry pretty much crease free. Who irons jumpers anyway?

My biggest tip - please explain to your child that pencil parers should never be used for paring fingers.

Sorry for rambling on a bit. I guess this thread got me thinking back and remembering it all Smile. Although it can be a sad time (especially for SAHMs), it's lovely to see them move on in the world and gain in confidence and to see their excitement on 'big' days like the school tour day or sports day etc.

tumbletumble · 21/04/2015 21:06

DC3 (my youngest) started school last year, and I went back to work (part time) the same week - after 9 years as a SAHM.

I have to say I am loving it. The DC are all happy and doing well at school, and I am really enjoying being back at work. I loved being a SAHM but I do feel like I have rediscovered a piece of myself that I didn't even realise was missing. I'm lucky to have found an interesting part time job (two and a half days a week) so I still get to pick them up from school three days a week. It's perfect really Smile

MyIronLung · 21/04/2015 21:07

I shouldn't have clicked on this post. My ds is starting reception this Sept and I'm dreading it. He's so little compared to most of the kids at his pre school and he'll only have just turned 4. He's too little!

Im fully expecting to cry my eyes out the first week day.

AwfulBeryl · 21/04/2015 21:10

You don't have to iron the uniform, I don't. They look creased and scruffy after 5 mins of playing anyway.