I posted few weeks ago about my BIL and fiancé, who had asked me to be a bridesmaid for them and basically told me I was planning the hen do. She came up with a ridiculous list of things we had to do on the hen (£££+) and none of her friends were willing to pay for it, and pulled out. I was then blamed for this, and got a lot of abuse via text about my inability to make it happen. They refused to discuss it in person.
Further development mean that they came over to our home and acted like everything was normal, and when I went upstairs to get ds up from afternoon nap, they asked dh 'what is her problem'. Needless to say I heard them and confronted them. I calmly explained that I no longer wanted to be part of the hen do because I clearly wasn't meeting their expectations and we can't afford a £300 hen do on top of the 5 day stag do that dh is going on. They did not like this, and started shouting at me (dc's present), swearing and attacking me personally - 'you are trying to make this all about you, you are so selfish, don't you think I deserve a hen do, I work so hard. You should be back at work by now anyway, welcome to the real world' (dd is 4 months). I should add they want my children to be at the ceremony for pictures, then to be taken away for the meal etc.
Anyway, my ds started to cry 'no more shouting' so I told them it was best that they left
and I said that if they feel like that about me, I would step down as bridesmaid. I can be there to look after my
Dcs and drop them off with my mum after the ceremony. 
Well it's been a few weeks and I received a text saying can we forget about what happened and all the stupid things we said to each other (I said nothing personal, just the reasons why I didn't want to be involved with the hen)
And she wants to build on our friendship (we don't speak or see one another unless our dps do). MIL thinks I should be bridesmaid, go on hen etc. Dm thinks I should ignore her. HELP!