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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dogs should always be under close control, even if they are just being friendly?

220 replies

Model5 · 20/04/2015 12:56

I'm scared of dogs. I know that's my issue and I deal with it as best I can but I don't want dogs I don't know approaching me.

Out running in the woods early this morning, most of the other people about at that time of day are either runners or dog walkers. In my hour, I had two dogs run over and slobber over my legs, one just up and put muddy paw prints all over me and another came over yapping and growling at me. Another (big one) chased & frightened me and I stood stock still praying for it to go away while it's owner called several times without success.

All of the owners, were kind of apologetic, but in aw bless, what can you do, he just wants to say hello/play kind of way.

TBH, even if I wasn't scared I wouldn't be very impressed by the slobber and paw prints.

Lots of other dogs just trotted by without giving me a second glance and several owners took hold of their dogs as they saw me approach (which I always say thank you for) so I know it's possible to stop dogs approaching me. Lots of owners seem to think it's not necessary. Is it them or me? I realise I came to no real harm. Do I just need to accept that if I go out at prime dog walking time, I'm going to get growled at, chased, slobbered over etc?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 20/04/2015 17:57

That's all very well but it says nothing to my ds who just sees a dog off lead. Admittedly it's the ones that bound up that have given him this fear in the first place so it is those owners I blame.

We tried gently introducing him to some really well behaved dogs but it just made him worse.

ConfusedInBath · 20/04/2015 17:59

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BearsDontDigOnDancing · 20/04/2015 18:01

I was out for a walk in a huge country park the other day with my 7 year old, a lot of dogs off leads, and the vast majority of them were very good, and clearly under control.

But there was one dog, looked like a puppy possibly, that I saw bothering and jumping up to another dog, while the owners stood a good 20 yards away ineffectually shouting its name, then eventually got it to go back to her, by this time we were behind them on the path, and the ruddy thing kept running up to us and jumping up at DS who is not as a rule scared of dogs, and knows not to go up to them and always ask permission from the owners, while the owner and the other woman she was with just stood staring shouting "come here" with no effect whatsoever. Eventually, when it got into a bit of a growling scuffle with another dog, they put it on the lead! That was annoying.

PlanningMyFuture · 20/04/2015 18:04

YANBU - I always make sure mine are under my controls and am very aware of who is approaching on foot, bikes, jogging, delivering by van etc. It is only fair to let other people go about their lives unhindered.

SaucyJack · 20/04/2015 18:05

I suppose YANBU.

It's a shame for people (like me) tho. I love dogs, and me and the DDs are always happy to stroke a friendly doggy that wanders over.

Lots of people don't regard other people's dogs as a nuisance.

Jessica2point0 · 20/04/2015 18:15

I agree with saucy. I like friendly dogs. But I do appreciate that some people are scared so they should be under close control. Don't think they should have to be on a lead though - much better if they are well trained enough to not need a lead.

GentlyBenevolent · 20/04/2015 18:20

confused - well, I'm sick of selfish entitled dog owners who let their badly behaved dogs roam free.

ConfusedInBath · 20/04/2015 18:29

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GentlyBenevolent · 20/04/2015 18:31

If your dogs are well behaved then surely the bad owners and the badly behaved dogs irritate and frustrate you as much as anyone else? Plenty of good owners with well behaved dogs agreeing with the OP on this thread. Only apparent bad owners with poorly behaved dogs disagreeing with her...

ConfusedInBath · 20/04/2015 18:35

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GentlyBenevolent · 20/04/2015 18:37

Well behaved doesn't work with friendly. Friendly dogs are often the problem. neutral or uninterested is fine. Friendly=pest (at best)

GentlyBenevolent · 20/04/2015 18:38

well behaved dogs owld not mae unwanted advances to strangers. Friendly dogs do that all the time and that's the root of the problem.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/04/2015 18:38

I'd love a dog run in the local park like someone mentioned upthread. There's a perfect size area for it in my local one in which the dog owners tend to congregate (it's separated from the other field on which people tend to do sports etc by a path). I could enjoy my dogs being off lead with only other potential numpty dog owners to worry about. And people not walking dogs wouldn't be bothered or be at risk of being bothered at all. Win win. Maybe I'll write to my local council about it.

ConfusedInBath · 20/04/2015 18:43

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EponasWildDaughter · 20/04/2015 18:46

You can usually tell from a quite a distance if a person is nervous of your dog. It's very obvious from their body language. Friendliness has nowt to do with it, when there are other people nearby call your dog to heel and then go further and pop it on the lead again for a few moments too if anyone still looks nervous.

It's manners. You'll usually get a grateful thank you and the dog can be let off again once you're out of sight.

and if your dog really is that well behaved it will only take seconds to get it back on a lead - so no big deal

Jessica2point0 · 20/04/2015 18:47

A well behaved dog with a competent owner will stay away from strangers. A friendly well behaved dog with a competent owner will stay away from strangers but happily be petted should a person approach him / her (after asking owners permission of course). Either kind does not need to always be kept on a lead.

maddiehayesfan · 20/04/2015 18:58

Yes, because you never hear of a dog who mauls someone where the owners tearfully say "I don't understand it, he's so friendly, he's never done it before", do you? Noooo.

A dog can turn in a heartbeat. Keep the damn things on leads. It should be the law.

As for you, ConfusedInBath, if you're sick of threads like this, don't read them. Very simple, no?

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/04/2015 19:01

And the self appointed thread police have arrived Hmm

HellRunner · 20/04/2015 19:07

Confused . If your dogs are as well behaved as you say they are (i dont boubt you). Then you are not tge type of owner this thread is complaining about. I used to look after a lovely Doberman when I was younger and ran with him off lead. He would never stray far from my side and come back to heel the moment I called. He was a lovely dog - most I encounter these days do not have the slightest basic training.

ConfusedInBath · 20/04/2015 19:09

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voluptuagoodshag · 20/04/2015 19:19

YANBU I love dogs. Usually always pat them but I like them to approach me calmly and wait to be patted. I do not like to be dribbled over, especially if I've got nice clean clothes on.
Imagine if I had been out gardening, hands covered in mud, I take a drink of water then go up to someone and dribble over them and place my hands on their clothes! It's just not acceptable. There are so many good dog owners but the bad dog owners give all a bad name. I'd love a dog but would not have the time to train it properly so won't be getting one. I am incredulous at folk who shout and shout and shout their dog's name with no response. That seems to be the norm thus the norm, IMO, is a lot of badly trained dogs. A well trained dog is a credit to their owner.

Queenofknickers · 20/04/2015 19:25

In suburbs Australia they have dog playgrounds so dogs can run about happily off the lead and no-one else gets bothered! Great idea!

BastardGoDarkly · 20/04/2015 19:30

Yanbu. My dog is big, calm, really friendly and would never jump up/ bark Tec. I still get hold of his collar when a cyclist or jogger goes by, as I don't want him to scare anyone.

As for keeping him on a lead in all public places.....no.

villainousbroodmare · 20/04/2015 19:35

If you or your child are very afraid of dogs, and are approached by one, don't freeze if you can possibly help it. Don't tense up, do not above all make any sudden moves or squeaky panicky noises, and don't stare at the dog. I know this is awfully difficult but if you avert eye contact, remain as relaxed as possible and keep walking steadily onwards, you are extremely unlikely to be bothered and it is almost inconceivable that you will be bitten. If the dog is enough of an ignoramus to jump up at you, it is almost certainly doing so out of joyful overexuberance and if you simply keep walking it will likely desist.

While it is never appropriate for any dog to jump on anyone, and my dog would no more do so than I would myself, it is very difficult to teach a dog who is sociable and well-adjusted to retreat and stick in tightly to its owner's side every time someone approaches. The dog will have to be forcibly hauled in. This is especially true if the approaching person is sending out waves of "DANGER! TENSION!" body language, as the dog may even feel that it should protect its owner from the approaching person who is so clearly troubled.

In actual fact, it is the dog who is so socially inept that it cannot be allowed off-leash, or the Angstbeisser who will slink and cower behind the owner's legs, who is by far the most likely to lunge and deliver an unprovoked bite, generally as the person has just passed by.

Andrewofgg · 20/04/2015 19:42

all dogs should be on the lead in public spaces

Wrong. They shouldn't be in public spaces at all. They should be in the owner's garden and if you haven't got a garden (not a shared garden, your own) you should not be keeping a dog.

And to answer the usual questions:

No, that does not apply to guide dogs which are not pets.

And yes, it does apply to the pet dogs of elderly/lonely people, because their age and circumstances does not make the dog any safer or less insanitary.

And now I had better put my flameproof clothes on . . .