Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to not understand why men take half an hour to have a poo?

75 replies

molyholy · 19/04/2015 20:17

Why!!!! My dad used to do it. My husband does it. I just want to get in when I need a poo, do it and get out. Men seem to view it as a hobby. Have a read, look at their phone etc. Basically wallowing in the smell of thier own shit. You either need a poo, or you don't! Why why why??????

OP posts:

CleverPlansAndSecretTricks · 19/04/2015 20:44

It's to escape looking after the kids and play on their iPad isn't it? I just tell them to knock after about 15 mins. "Go and ask daddy. He is in the loo, just knock on the door". Is there any genuine medical reason why men need to take half an hour 2 or 3 times a day to poo?

TheBooMonster · 19/04/2015 20:45

My DH does this, it's even more infuriating in the morning when he goes for a shower but first spends half an hour on the loo, then he does this thing after the shower where he wanders round... drys himself off a bit... puts on his pants... checks his Facebook... wanders round... puts on his socks... checks his emails... finds his jeans.... checks Facebook again..... on and on, it's painful watching him get dressed, and this has taken up to an hour!! before, but generally takes about half an hour... so from him getting up in the morning to him buggering off and allowing me to starfish in the bed takes over an hour...

ScrumpyBetty · 19/04/2015 20:49

flamingtoaster haha

Stanky · 19/04/2015 20:50

I know that a lot of blokes go for a poo in the work place, just as an excuse to skive off for 20 minutes to half an hour. They say that it feels better to crap when they know that they are on paid time.

chockbic · 19/04/2015 20:53

It's an event in our house.

See you later

NormHonal · 19/04/2015 20:54

At what age do they acquire this habit? DH does it but preschooler DS will only ever place his bum cheeks on the toilet seat roughly ten second before the poo emerges (any sooner is a waste of valuable play time).

So when do they start doing this?

I seem to recall DH and DDad being like it before the dawn of the iphone.

slightlyeggstained · 19/04/2015 20:55

I've always wondered if there's any physical reason for it, or if the long leisurely poo is a habitual thing.

DP has an annoying habit of doing it just before we go out (admittedly better at home than some grotty public loo and I tend to go for a wee before going out myself), so yes I do watch the time then. He did it before DS came along so it's not really avoiding childcare.

LetticeKnollys · 19/04/2015 20:56

DP does this, it's weird. Although sometimes he does wank, more often he is reading a book/reading the news. When Angry Birds came out he used to play that on the toilet. I don't understand it, it's not to do with wanting to get away from the kids, because he used to do it before our DS was born, and he does it while we're out, too.
I remember pre-DC standing on a staircase at the British Museum huffing and puffing as I got bumped about by tourists for about 15 minutes while he went for a historic poo.

newtonupontheheath · 19/04/2015 21:01

DH does this.

He also has a fear of needing to go when out and about, or on a long journey. Or going and there's no loo roll.

We had words about it, because it's always at the time when the children need to be putting shoes, coats, etc on so I have limited sympathy tbh.

His father is the same. And trying not to condition DS to have the same "fear" is proving challenging. He's still at the run-poo-run phase

Queenofknickers · 19/04/2015 21:03

My Dad did this and DH does it too! I'm of the opinion they are skiving.

LunacyPays · 19/04/2015 21:03

I love the terms 'I-poo' and 'shy bowel'!

Both the 45 year old and the 9 year old males are the same in this house. DH takes the sports section in with him and ds takes the Beano. It drives me insane - we only have one loo and me and dd have to form an orderly que.

Makes me think of that film 'This is 40' where the wife follows the DH into the loo and starts brow-beating him for hiding from his family!

DevonFolk · 19/04/2015 21:09

It's DP's favourite time of the day. He takes his books and settles in for a good half an hour/40 minutes. He has a medical background and swears blind that men and women are physiologically very different in that department. Sometimes I think he tries to use this "medical knowledge" to deceive

GlitzAndGigglesx · 19/04/2015 21:16

I thought it was to learn all the ingredients on shampoo bottles but dp plays some Simpsons game on either his iPad or phone so I can hear Homer screeching. Then he emerges 20 mins later saying how much better he feels. Just go in, do it, be out fgs!

GoldenBoots · 19/04/2015 21:21

This used to drive me mad about ny ex! You could guarantee DS would need a wee while he was in there too! Whyy does anyone need to spend 30 minutes in the toilet? Couple of pushes and its out! With me.

Topseyt · 19/04/2015 21:22

My Dad used to go and read the newspaper in there. My husband goes in and plays Space Invaders or similar on his phone or tablet.

I sometimes like to be leisurely too though, as it does get me away from the rest of the household for a bit of peace sometimes (kids all older now).

Honsandrevels · 19/04/2015 21:23

Men have done this long before the smartphone was invented. Major sexist generalisation but I think men go as soon as they feel the slightest inkling that they need a poo, therefore it takes a while. Women tend to feel an inking but then wait until they actually have the urge to poo, and are therefore much quicker.

Hassled · 19/04/2015 21:25

It's not as straghtforward as a male/female thing - DH & DS2 have Event Poos, but so does DD. DS1, DS3 and I are in and out - we do what needs to be done, out of there.

Want2bSupermum · 19/04/2015 21:27

It's to avoid parenting responsibility. Cured it by booking DH in for a colonoscopy to problem solve his long poo habit. Cured it right away and if it comes back I will book him in again.

CleverPlansAndSecretTricks · 19/04/2015 21:27

Just had a quick look on google scholar. Apparently men have a longer anal sphincter. Who knew? Maybe that slows things down...

Don't worry, link is to a journal article not a picture!

CleverPlansAndSecretTricks · 19/04/2015 21:28

Although it didn't actually slow things down in the study linked...so I'm back to my family avoidance theory.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 19/04/2015 21:31

Unless you know your partner has a toilet fetish, and I didn't think they were that common - maybe they are? Why would anyone go to the toilet to have a wank?

bigbluebus · 19/04/2015 21:32

My DH does this every morning. He takes a book and his glasses in with him and reads for 20 mins. I'm sure the actual poo bit happens in the 1st 5 mins and I have asked him if he can flush after he had pooed rather than leaving it to linger for 20 mins and the smell permeates out into the bedroom.

DS has inherited his father's habit but takes his phone/tablet in with him. He can poo quickly of he needs to but most of the time he spends hours in there to avoid doing other things.

Luckily we have enough toilets for one each in this house unlike when I was growing up in a house with one toilet and 3 males

intlmanofmystery · 19/04/2015 21:36

It's just a chance for a few minutes peace and quiet, nothing more...

Topseyt · 19/04/2015 21:37

Perhaps it is the gentle art of poocrastination that is being practised.

DextersMistress · 19/04/2015 21:39

My best friend told me her dh has to shower after every poo. I dread to think how long he's in the bathroom

Flip

1 2 3