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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to turn to drink?

27 replies

StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:10

I was never a drinker before I had my DS (5 months old). I used to have one or two drinkd a month. i didn't have a single for fifteen months when I was trying to conceive, pregnant, and for three months after he was born.

But now I really look forward to my evening drink. DS has cows milk protein intolerance, and had very bad colic, and screamed constantly for the first three month of his life. I've got PND. I usually only have one drink, usually after DS goes to bed, but I've started already this afternoon. I never get drunk... AIBU? It worries me how much I've started to look forward to it!

OP posts:
Ginmartini · 19/04/2015 17:12

One drink a night when your son is in bed?

In all seriousness I think you should consider AA or rehab.

This is extremely dangerous and worrying.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:15

I knew it!

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:17

Really, my concern is that I never really craved alcohol before, but now I REALLY need a drink by the time he's in bed.

OP posts:
Ginmartini · 19/04/2015 17:18

I've reported your post so that Mumsnet HQ can contact the relevant agencies for you Thanks

OddSockBag · 19/04/2015 17:19

Jesus, lock me up now! I'm usually contemplating my first drink at 9am GrinWink
Usual manage to wait until after dinner but by god, I love it!

Primadonnagirl · 19/04/2015 17:22

Really Starling???! Are you serious?

PigletJohn · 19/04/2015 17:24

maybe it's just a habit. A mug of tea might be just as welcome.

But how big is this drink?

AIBU to turn to drink?
expatinscotland · 19/04/2015 17:24

This is MN, if you do more than sniff a sherry once a year . . . well, you know. It's fine for your husband to live in the pub, though.

Primadonnagirl · 19/04/2015 17:24

I meant that to GinMartini....given your name!!

MetallicBeige · 19/04/2015 17:26

I don't think it works quite like that gin.

Hope you're ok op, do you have a good relationship with your health visitor? They can be a good person to speak to if you're struggling a bit, they're there for the baby and for you. If you wanted support they'll also be linked in with lots of services. If not them, GP?

Frusso · 19/04/2015 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JanineStHubbins · 19/04/2015 17:27

I think it's a bit off to report someone to MNHQ on the basis of one drink an evening. Confused

JanineStHubbins · 19/04/2015 17:28

On second reading, I think GinMartini is being sarcastic.

Satsumafairy · 19/04/2015 17:31

I think they are joking!

iklboo · 19/04/2015 17:32

Unless it's a bottle of wine every night it's not a massive issue. If you're staying within guidelines & try to have one or two nights not drinking there's no need for pearl clutching & swooning.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:34

I'm getting lots of help for the PND... Friends, family, partner, homestart and therapy...

It just worries me how much I WANT a drink by the end of the day. I never did before having DS. Tbh, I often end up leaving half my glass of an evening but then in the morning if I didn't put the glass in the dishwasher the night before, I sometimes really want a swig of it. That seems wrong to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:35

I think gin was kidding.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:38

My therapist is from securestart, and comes to the house nice a week or so... So I can chat to here whilst looking after the boy. I think it's meant for mums who are having really bad issues bonding, she says I'm one of her most engaged mums, but I have a lot of anxiety.

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 19/04/2015 17:38

It's 99% likely that you are fine and that you are just doing what you want to do to get through the wearing early years.

But to prove it to yourself and to give you peace of mind, abstain from alcohol for a week, then a month.

If you can't do it then you might have a problem.

formerbabe · 19/04/2015 17:39

One drink a night doesn't sound excessive. I have a glass of wine nearly every evening with my dinner...I know it is not a problem because although I enjoy it, I could quite happily not drink and it wouldn't bother me.

I think it becomes worrying when you feel like you are not in control of it or can't cope without it though.

Ginmartini · 19/04/2015 17:41

Ummm I was being sarcastic. Jeez maybe I should have put 'light hearted' after my post like everyone has to do nowadays but I thought it was a given.

Original poster
StarlingMurmuration · 19/04/2015 17:41

That's a good idea, unexpected. One reason I completely abstained after he was born was that we used to end up co-sleeping many morning and I knew drinking was a risk factor. But he's in his own bed now and never comes into ours, so I think I've just relaxed a bit too much.

OP posts:
Satsumafairy · 19/04/2015 17:41

Oddly enough op your post reminded me of something. When dd was a baby I had PND too. I remember one day, first thing in the morning, coming downstairs and looking at a bottle of wine and thinking "I really want some!" and actually thinking that I coul actually understand how people become dependent on alcohol.

I'm not a drinker at all usually but I also had that feeling so perhaps it is linked to the PND because once mine subsided so did those feelings. I didn't become a hardened drinker though, don't worry op but I did enjoy my glass of wine in the evening as did many of my friends that were new mums.

JigsawsAreAllLittlePieces · 19/04/2015 17:43

You're not pouring vodka on your cornflakes. The only problem could be that you are really wanting that drink. But if you're leaving half of it anyway it could be just the ritual of "I'm in ADULT time now doing something for ME" rather than you actually wanting that drink.

I suspect that you're focusing on the drink because you're not seeing the world quite right as you're suffering with PND. If I were you I would find something else to treat myself to instead of having a drink.

Good luck!

iklboo · 19/04/2015 17:47

Sorry, forgot to add I think Gin is being tongue in cheek here. What with the name & all.