neighbour query... wwyd?

[hopeforthebestplanfortheworst]

My new (ish) neighbour has painted her side of the boundary panels between us, which I own, without asking or checking.

Should I say something in a friendly way to mention she should've checked as it's mine, or leave it? It can't be undone so it's more about getting her to remember to consider my property in future.

I don't want to fall out but nor do I want her to do anything irreversible which could be more serious or annoying in the future. I would never dream of doing such a thing without asking & think its a bit rude!?

Choose your battles carefully - it might be your fence but putting your foot down with your next door neighbour over something trivial can have unintended consequences. And you don't - no you really don't - want a neighbour dispute on your hands.

Be wary too about not saying anything. We had a problem with a jointly paid for boundary fence with next door. They arranged the workman, and at the last minute without reference to us decided to get the height raised from 4 foot to 7 foot. Also the fence was wonky, and significantly intruded into our side of the garden (flush with a brick built party wall) just because their contractor wasn't competent enough to be able to cut a panel to the right length. We didn't say anything. Thought it would make us look like a right pair of twats.

Fast forward 2 years, and we have now fallen out over the front fence. We paid for half of it to be replaced (referred to in the deeds as a party fence). Consulted with them over the type of fence we get. They come round mouthing off because they didn't get the "nice side" facing them, and didn't like it that we'd only done half the fence. Threatened to lift the panels and turn them round. They had said they couldn't afford right now to contribute to the cost, and we needed the fence replacing urgently, so we replaced that half that was visible to us.

Basically, they wanted to dictate what we put up. 2 weeks later they found the money to get the rest of the fence done, but increased the height (we said we wanted them to maintain the original height), and in removing one of our newly planted fence posts refused to make good any damage that might have been caused to our newly laid drive.

If I could rewind the clock I'd have made very clear to them with the first fence where they and we stood over the boundary. We even had them last year discussing what colour they'd paint our side of the party wall (soon put them right on that!).

Ive looked at the panels now the neighbour is at work, they've done a neat job. I'm not bothered about the work itself but having slept on it I am concerned they didn't communicate with me about it & therfore concerned they wouldn't with anything else they did which they should spk to me about.

It's just common courtesy but benefit of the doubt, maybe didn't occur to them to ask. But I don't want bigger issues in future so going to have to acknowledge it in conversation & hope they don't get shirty, like I'm not getting difficult with them over this. Tricky situation, no ideal solution.

Thanks so much for all the opinions & experiences :-)

Op, what is the fence made of?

I'd be fuming if my neighbour painted my fence - its within my boundary and I paid for it. However Dh paints both my side and their side after they used one of those spray things and it fucked my new patio with that minging red fence paint

Tear it down and burn it. It is yours.

So, just to clarify, in MN-Land, if I live next to you, I can pay for a fence and I can erect it on my own property. This apparently gives you the right to do what you like with the side of a fence you don't own and didn't pay for. Have I got this right?

So you would have your neighbors stare at a blank, plain, boring wall for years on end, rather than make it interesting and have it painted and have things growing up it and decorating it to make it more pleasing to the eye?
All because you own it?
I find that strange.

We get on well with our neighbors thank god

They have put up trellis against the wall, they drill holes to hang garden ornaments, they grow climbers and shrubs against it etc etc. It doesn't bother us in the slightest!

It's their SIDE to do as they like with, as far as we're concerned. Far better to have a neighbor that fusses with things than a complete slob that never does anything.

Meant to say, even though we own the fence/wall. They can do what they like with their side

I think you have to tread carefully but you should say something...make it clear that it is your fence...and you would have liked to have been asked.

I had a nightmare neighbour...it was hellish, police involved etc.
One of my regrets is I didn't set the boundaries from the beginning. So eg I came home and he told me he had planted some plants (cuttings from his garden) on our path and in our front garden. It sounded like he was trying to help us out - we were both busy and the front garden was a bit bare. Still I was WTF? But wanted to keep the peace etc -it was kindly meant - so I just thanked him.
I personally wouldn't dream of going into someone else's garden -he used to come into ours at will. He did things like come round and tell me off for not putting our garden waste bin out once...I asked him how he knew - apparently he had noticed when he had been weeding our 10 m long path ...it didn't effect him at all and the bin was at the bottom of our path well inside our back garden . We were growing a tree for some privacy after he had some raised decking - like a viewing platform into our garden and house. He thought he was perfectly within his rights to trim it to suit him, even came into the garden to do so. And countless other egs - when I eventually asked him to stop (came home to find he had 'built' (stacked) red bricks on top of our low grey wall at the front -looked fine from his side but awful from ours) the real trouble started. Real harassment -trying to block my car in, shouting and swearing at me, complaining over silly things. I asked him to stop cutting the tree and he said but I've done it for years .
Like I said I wish I'd set the boundaries from the start...

Collaborate - as long as the colour didn't dribble through or over (lol) and I couldn't see it and they could, honestly it wouldn't bother me! I honestly don't get why people get so aerated about this! I have lived next door to a drug dealer who engaged in gang warfare, with a shooting (on the front drive next door) and an almost torching (of their house which was 6" from ours). Honestly, compared to that, paining a house or a fence isn't even worth a moments thought!

Itsnottruethough - it never occurred to me. I'm clearly a baaaaaad neighbour.