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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who offer to wash up, but only do 90% of it!

31 replies

QuacksLikeADuck · 19/04/2015 09:49

This drives me INSANE!

PIL are staying and offer to do washing up. Great I think!

They do it, but when I come back in there are still 2 dirty cups sitting on the table, there is still a still a single dirty bowl on the side and a few dirty teaspoons. None of the surfaces or the table have been wiped... So I end up having to finish off what they started!

I don't find it that helpful or relaxing when I know I will have to finish off their cleaning!
I think I'm being a tiny bit U, but arrrrrgh it's so annoying!

OP posts:
LillyBugg · 19/04/2015 09:50

This drives me nuts to. I sit there wondering at what point I will need to step up and finish off. I guess it's nice of them to do some rather than none though sits on the fence

PuntasticUsername · 19/04/2015 09:59

Washing up doesn't necessarily include wiping the kitchen surfaces though - I mean, I'd automatically do it myself, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to unless that had been made explicit.

Agree it's a bit annoying if they didn't have a look around for stuff that needed washing that wasn't right next to the sink, though - maybe next time you'll need to make the expectations more clear! At least they want to help!

monkeysox · 19/04/2015 10:01

Feel your pain. dh always leaves trays from the oven like some magical pixie will make them disappear

frizzyhairstress · 19/04/2015 10:04

Stand behind them and tell them as they clean. Then post live updates. Wink

sooperdooper · 19/04/2015 10:05

This is my DH all over, he never finishes a whole job, makes me want to kill him

PeppermintCrayon · 19/04/2015 10:06

Well, it beats having nothing done, doesn't it? Isn't 90% better than nothing?

I think YAB quite U.

ByTheWishingWell · 19/04/2015 10:11

If they want to come here and do 90% of my washing up instead, I promise I won't complain!

I sometimes do a few bits of washing up in PILs house while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil/ making DD some food, but usually don't do it all. I always assumed doing some was helpful!

FelixFelix · 19/04/2015 10:13

My DP does this. And always leaves the dirty water in the sink. How hard is it to pull the plug out? Don't even get me started on not wiping the sides down too.

SuperMumTum · 19/04/2015 10:22

We have a dishwasher. But DP can't seem to get that it needs to be emptied, filled and set to run when there is a pile of dishes. He will get about a third of the way through and give up.

Pantone363 · 19/04/2015 10:26

Washing dishes always includes wiping the sides down!

Washer does the dishes and wipes the sides, hob, fridge and cupboard doors

Drier does the drying, sweeps the floor and wipes and dries the sink/drainer

ToBeeOrNot · 19/04/2015 10:28

If guests offer to wash up I'd only expect them to do the stuff alongside the sink. Wiping sides and washing up are two entirely separate activities so on balance YABU

mickeyfartpants · 19/04/2015 11:07

Well it does still only leave you with 10% instead of the whole 100% if they hadn't done any, doesn't it?

Mention how unhappy you are with their work next time. I'm sure they will be happy to offer again and get the whole job done, as per your instructions.

YABU.

windchime · 19/04/2015 11:53

My DH leaves thinks 'to soak' and never returns to the cold, greasy mess he has created. And if he ever wipes the table down I will drop dead from shock.

londonrach · 19/04/2015 11:56

Guests offering to was up i would expect them to do the dishes in front of them by the sink. (I would be rushing around collecting everything else..). I would expect them to wipe the surfaces down as thats what hd or myself would be doing whilst they washing up...

AlternativeTentacles · 19/04/2015 11:58

Why not collect the cups and stuff and put them with the rest of the washing up, and just wipe down the surfaces yoursel?

Moreisnnogedag · 19/04/2015 12:10

Husbands or partners not doing a proper job is one thing, but guests?? I'd be thankful for the 90% really - what's the big deal about finishing off if they've been kind enough to do the bulk of it?

PrettyLittleMitty · 19/04/2015 12:16

windchime my dh does this too, it gives me the rage Angry

grannytomine · 19/04/2015 12:16

I would love to only have 10% to do. My family seem to have a very serious aversion to washing up and putting the rubbish out.

UnsolvedMystery · 19/04/2015 12:50

YABU to expect someone else to do a job to the same specifications as you do.
Thank them for their help and finish the last couple of things yourself.

BlackeyedSusan · 19/04/2015 13:35

depends. if it is a guest any help is ok as long as they do what they do properly. if it is someone who should be taking responsibility for washing up properly, then bloody annoying.

Onelittlepiglet · 19/04/2015 13:41

Oh god I could have written this! PIL staying currently and have done nothing to help apart from.....rinsing a couple of plates (theirs) under the tap. Yeah, thanks for that!

I had to re wash them anyway because rinsing doesn't really cut it.
They left the cups, glasses, bowls etc they had used and of course didn't even look at our stuff, including things used by the grandchildren they apparently adore and 'would do anything for'. I've cooked every single meal (been here 8 days) and washed up every single meal. (Dh has been helping in other ways so he isn't not doing anything).

Grrrrrrrrr Angry

BackforGood · 19/04/2015 13:45

Of course YABU.
Far better to have 10% to do, than 100%, however bad your maths is.

Plus, if there are a couple of cups or some teaspoons put there after they've finished, then surely they just wait for the next washing up session - you don't have to go and finish up, you choose to.

When guests offer to help out in my house, I thank them and get on with something else.

workhouse · 19/04/2015 13:52

" I left the rest to soak" Grrrrrrrrrr YANBU

Taz1212 · 19/04/2015 15:15

It drives me batty! DH will say he's off to wash the dishes and he means just that- he's off to wash the dishes but leaves the pots and pans! Aargh!

PHANTOMnamechanger · 19/04/2015 15:21

ILs especially SIL, were banned from my kitchen a long time ago, even when I have done the big christmas dinner cook and there is loads of washing up. I don't want people who think it is OK to wash up in water that resembles cold soup, or who insist on drying everything with a soggy dirty tea towel (we let it air dry), and pile it all up on dirty work tops, or put it all away in the wrong places. I'd rather get DH to do it do it myself.
In case anyone thinks that sounds a bit OCD/controlling, I'm not at all, but I do need to be careful that washing up is done thoroughly and clean stuff is not got dirty again due to DD being coeliac.